Hi every one, I've found myself at that dreaded time - SUBMITTING.
I was wondering if anyone would offer any advice/editing/critique of what I have for my covering letter so far? At the moment I'm working on the 'selling of the book' part of the covering letter... So here it is...
The war was fought and won five hundred years ago. Now the seeds of war have been sown once again. Alone, frightened, a girl who remembers little recounts how she ended up imprisoned by those loyal to the dark king…
Sinister forces are once again at work in the Ten Kingdoms. Shadows and monsters are on the trail of a girl who holds the future of the kingdoms in her unassuming hands.
Nessa runs from those who hunt her, longing for home a world away, the hounds of war snapping at her heels. Hunter, a boy with a past full of secrets, risks everything to save this girl from those who would do anything to use her for their own means. Together they flee across a perilous land to find a lost friend and a creature of old that unveils secrets that will change everything forever.
...Will this capture the agents attention (for the right reasons)? It's a fantasy adventure aimed at readers 11+. Any (non rude) advice is really appreciated :)
P.S. If you go to 'Advice' in the red titles at the top of the page, there's a section on queries and submission letters.
Adrian, you use 'novel' (not as the title) five times here - that's overkill! The publisher knows it's a novel, after all.
I'd suggest naming the writer/novels from the publisher's catalogue which have led you to think he/she may be interested in yours, rather than the vague 'this type or similar'.
No colon before a three-name list, but put 'and' between the last two. The names are not 'literary enthusiasms' - I'd find this confusing.
Writing a submission letter is an art form: I wonder if anyone ever gets it right?
My novel is not fantasy but this is my example of a covering letter.
Novel Title: ‘‘. . . . . . . . . .’’
I am submitting the manuscript of my novel ‘‘Novel Title ’’ to you because
. . . you have a solidly-established reputation for publishing novels of this type or similar.
I have enclosed X chapters
It is a novel of about 70,000 words in the fantasy genre, aimed at an audience aged 10 years and upwards.
I have long been interested in fantasy stories, especially those of: Pullman, Reeve, Dickinson. These literary enthusiasms have helped to shape my novel.
‘‘Novel Title ’’ is summarized by its title: evil, love, nobility, courage and magic are blended in this novel, in which, after several battles, good triumphs over brutality.
[Different covering letter for the American market]
I thoroughly enjoy American literature, especially, novels by, ‘‘ list some American authors’’
I hope that helps.
Good luck.