Hi everyone
I've currently editing my MS and have had very mixed feedback about the prologue. The consensus seems to be that it should stay in, but I have 2 versions and the feedback on both of them has been quite conflicting - I appreciate people have different pov's. But as of yet no-one has really been able to compare the two together, as only one is ever on the MS at one time - obviously.
So I'd thought I'd ask the lovely people here at W&A what you think.
It's been suggested that the first one may make the protagonist seem a bit too ruthless. And the second one people seemed to love or hate. The gripe being that it gives the game away too soon - it doesn't though, but readers wouldn't know that.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts if people have the time, or inclination to have a look. It's on my shared work. And each prologue is just a couple of hundred words each.
Thanks in advance.
Clare
Thanks Jimmy, I'll send the full MS as soon as I've finished my redraft.
As an isolated piece of prose, I prefer Prologue 1 by a country mile. That would probably remain the case when the piece is in context. Prologue 2 mixes introspection with action in a way I don't find credible. I think the man would have been fighting desperately to stay alive.
Prologue 1 is altogether more subtle, obliquely introducing the character of the ruthless man.
I take John's point about the hook. You could achieve that with Prologue 1 if you open with the policeman ringing the doorbell, and put the sound of the rain and the introspection with the bit about her sitting down and gradually realising the enormity of what she faces.
I hope this helps!
Very best wishes
Penny
It sounds - from what you write here - like the 2nd is setting the reader up for a twist, which is a good idea. If that's the main reason ("It gives the game away!") why some hate it, I'd just forget that criticism. But send BOTH to me with the full ms, and I'll give you a more informed opinion.