Triggerhappy Agents

Hello, Cuppa!

I would like to start by saying that I enter this discussion as an unbiased observer.

I would LIKE to start that way, but that would be lying to you. Both Jimmy and Emilie are personal friends of mine as well as colleagues and I have great admiration for Lorraine's (and Jimmy's) very generous contributions to this web-site. Although both professionally involved in publishing, they take a lot of time (and give a lot of thought) to giving others advice here. And I don't know you from Adam... or Eve.

It's true that Jimmy can be a bit of a clown. But then he's an enthusiastic supporter of Clowns Without Borders (clowns.org) - and does amateur clowning for worthy causes.

So, yes, I'm biased. But I will try to be as objective as I can in investigating your claim that people have been attacking and insulting you.

a) Emilie's "Had a nice rant, have you? Good..." Now, I can understand your taking this as an attack. But that's because you don't know Emilie. She's a great fan of ranting (also called venting or blowing off steam). It can be a safety valve. Many people on this forum have witnessed Emilie's rants on such "sacred cows" as Tolkien and Rowling. If you'll read the rest of her comment (instead of getting defensive about that word "rant"), you'll see that she was saying "We're all in the same boat, Dear". And her last line was a VERY good piece of advice.

b) Barbara's disagreement with you as to the worth of happy books. This is OBVIOUSLY not an attack: just a difference in tastes, but I include it in the list just in case you needed that clarified.

c) Dor and Lorraine's first comments. These were based on a wealth of experience in both cases and wer intended to HELP you. I really can't understand you seeing them as attacks. Unless you consider Dor's "And you're misunderstanding [...]" as impugning your omniscience. And frankly, if you've got THAT idea about yourself, there's little hope for you (as a human being OR a writer). Sorry, did that sound like an attack? Please notice the all-important "IF".

d) OK, this merits a letter to itself: Dor's "You'll be getting rejected on the first 5 pages". Goodness me! This isn't an attack on you: it's only stating the facts. Each agent is offered HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of mss each year. They don't have TIME to read 3 full chapters of each. They'll bin those that don't make them eager for the next page. Dor points out that IF they'd read the whole 3 chapters, they'd have thought it was WORTH reading 3 chapters... and therefore asking you for more.

e) You know the saying "Don't shoot the messenger!"? It seems to me that you have done that to Dor, and Lorraine, and - to a large extent - with Jimmy.

f) Jimmy used the word "crap". You come across as someone who objects to such language. But Jimmy wasn't aiming that word at you: He was stating that editors MIGHT feel that about your style.

g) The jokes. If Jimmy's sense of humour isn't your Cuppa Tea, you needn't take it as an ATTACK.

h) Lorraine and Jimmy pointed out that there were mistakes in your opening post. There are. Due to the delay in installing an edit function on this forum, they remain there. They can't be hidden. If you wish to claim that there are never any mistakes in your vocabulary or ability to express yourself 100% clearly, I need to tell you that the evidence is against you.

i) I make no attempt to defend Emilie's "rant" at you nor her sarcastic praise of your literary genius. Not - I must point out - because I believe them to be indefencible, but because they came AFTER your [in my honest opinion] totally unjustified claim of being the victim of attacks and insults.

You will doubtlessly take the following as yet another insulting attack (if you even bother to visit this "spiteful" thread again), but it is meant as sincere advice: I believe you should consider therapy re: "anger management".

Cuppa Tea, I have given you an honest, measured and supportive answer to your post. I have been polite; I have neither attacked nor insulted you.

I have not said that of course you are right in everything you say, and that the entire coterie of agents is against you personally - because that would be arrant nonsense.

You won't put up an example of your work, so I can't judge it; I can however judge what you have written, and there are errors there, as I have said. That, again, is not to insult or to attack, but to make a point about the need for editing because we cannot see our own work clearly; read Paul's post, which puts the case well.

There is nothing to stop you from publishing your work yourself. I suggest you investigate that route, and save yourself the heartache of continued rejection. The end result will be that your work is put out there for others to read - the whole point of the exercise - and it will be judged by those readers. Whether they agree with your opinion of it or not remains to be seen.

Help and encouragement do not always come from telling you what you want to hear, but from offering advice on how to proceed towards your chosen goal. Until you can accept that, and listen to what is said to you - whether you choose to act upon it or not - there is no point asking for assistance.

All best wishes,

Lorraine

Hi Cuppa Tea, I feel that some answerers (I know that is not a word) have been somewhat waggish, As you know writers are scamps at the best of times, however, you do sound a teeny weeny bit angry, so maybe just a few deep breaths.

I finished my novel some time ago (sorry it's about me) I thought it was finished and clever. After having it read by other people I wondered if they had actually read the book I had written. They had of course, it needed a lot of work, a lot. For one thing my punctuation is rubbish as anyone can see from my posts, but that is not something that stops one from being a writer. My biggest problem was most of the story (I have said this before apologies to those reading it again) was still in my head and as each time I read it myself my brain filled in all the gaps, because I could see it, yep see it like a film. Not good enough to be just in my head it had to be good enough for what was on the paper for it to be projected into other people's brains and become that same film that I could see. Then, (I know it doesn't finish with that massive gaff.) because of other writers on this site, some are the ones who have posted replies to your post. Those same people told me to show and not tell. I had no idea what they were on about, they showed me. Not only did they show me how to do it they took the time to encourage me by actually suggesting changes to my text, and you know what, not only did it work better with those changes but that showed me how to go through my work and see where I could make similar changes to improve the story. My style hasn't changed but it HAS improved. The editing I did as much as I have been able to, and now my wife is doing an awful lot more, sorting punctuation, grammar, tenses, tenses so easy to make a boob with those and it's hard to see them yourself. after she has finished and her English skills are excellent, it will need a professional editor to go over it and no doubt he/she will strike through a lot of what I think is important and clever, but it will have to go if they say so. I won't tell you how many rewrites I have done and how many revisions but those for now (until the professional editor gets to grips with it) are out of the way.

I honestly think that the people who replied to your post are not being horrible, they are simply saying you are rubbish.... no no only joking, I think they are saying this is so hard a sport to even get a game in let alone win a round. take the advice given, let em read your stuff they know what they are talking about.

Regards and best wishes Paul.