Hello everyone,
I searched and searched to find whether this question had already been asked. If I missed it and this is a repeat for some, then my apologies!
Basically, I get quite tripped up regarding the use of punctuation within a sentence with dialogue. Even after reading a lot myself, I find there are different methods with different authors. Anyway, I have three examples I would love help with!
"John," mum called impatiently, "please can you get off he couch and put the groceries away?"
"There is something that you really need to know." confessed Lucy with hesitancy.
Michael wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "love isn't as easy as they make it out to be in the movies."
SORRY! This is like a little quiz you'd get in English class, haha. I have seen in some previous answers there are some great grammar/punctuation books by Penguin, which I will definitely have a look at. Does anyone have a resource they use for things like this? Thank you in advance and apologies once again if this is a repeated, or appalling question!
Adrian, Jonathan and Lorraine,
Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply and assist me with my query!! All your answers have helped me tremendously. To what Adrian and Lorraine said, I had never thought/known about reporting clauses, so that was brilliant to learn.
Lorraine, thank you very much for the link to your blog! “Speak!” Part One and Part Two are an excellent help. I will definitely be reading more.
Thank you all again!
Rio
Rio, you may find my blog interesting - I write about grammar and punctuation.
https://wordsunderoneroof.wordpress.com/
Click on one of the items in the menu at the top of my page and it should (with luck) take you there.
Lorraine
There's a simple rule of thumb, Rio: take out the insertions.
"John," mum called impatiently, "please can you get off he couch and put the groceries away?"
"John, please can you get off he couch and put the groceries away?" That tells you all the punctuation you need for the speech itself: no capital, and a comma after 'John'.
A capital other than for a proper name only ever appears at the start of a sentence. Here, 'please' doesn't start a sentence: so no capital.
In your example, mum is being used in place of a name, so needs a capital. If you could replace Mum with Doris, it's a proper name.
If it was 'his mum' you would be saying that he spoke to the person who is his mother. He doesn't speak to 'his Doris', so no capital.
"There is something that you really need to know." confessed Lucy with hesitancy.
"There is something that you really need to know," confessed Lucy with hesitancy.
Although Lucy has finished speaking, the sentence isn't over until after 'hesitancy'. It's been added to with the information that these are Lucy's words.
As has been said, never try to explain how a thing is spoken unless it's absolutely necessary - it should be inherent in the dialogue itself. If it isn't, try adding a movement: 'said Lucy, shifting in her chair' for instance. It's pictorial - showing, not telling.
Also don't tell us who is speaking if it's obvious.
As an exercise, try writing your dialogue without any of the tags, as though it were a script. Does the emotion of the speaker come through without you telling us what it is?
Michael wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "love isn't as easy as they make it out to be in the movies." You don't need to have 'and said' - it's clear who is speaking. That would also make it clear that you need a capital at 'love'.
Michael wiped the tears from his eyes. "Love isn't as easy as they make it out to be in the movies." - much neater.
Hope this helps. Feel free to ask anything you need to know; there are so many posts on here, you may never find the thing you want.
Lorraine