Beginning of first chapter

As he came to he slowly realised he was on all fours and could feel a dripping sensation from his nose. He blinked and looked down and could see blood slowly falling to the concrete in front of him, hitting the floor in what seemed like slow motion. Still dazed there was noise around him but none of this was registering it felt like a blur in the background. He could sense that people were close by but had no concept if they were talking to him or just passing him by. Where the bloody hell was he?

Slowly it started to come back, a little bit at a time. He'd been out drinking and assumed that yet again, as had happened in the past, he had fallen over somewhere. The people around him were trying to help him he concluded but his mind was still intoxicated and attempting to register what was happening was a slow process.

Finally, as the fogginess started to dissipate he realised there were two people in close proximity both dressed in dark green jump suits. His brain started to clear some more and it was apparent that the paramedics had been called to assist the drunk that had fallen over. He looked down and saw that his jacket was covered in spots of blood, as well as his trousers and shoes. "You'll need to go to hospital" one of the paramedics advised. He grunted some initial objection to this, the speech was slurred and even in his head was incomprehensible.

Helped into a wheelchair like a frail old age pensioner rather than a 40 year old man, he was wheeled to the nearby waiting ambulance still falling in and out of consciousness. An all too familiar routine was starting to play out for him, go to hospital, have wound or wounds treated, sleep off drink and then in the morning he would make his way home from wherever he may be. But let's not forget he loved drinking and the way it made him feel, regardless of the countless falls, smashing of teeth and scars that followed it.

In the hospital he sat in the waiting room still slumped in the wheelchair. The blood had stopped dripping from his nose, but this was not much of a concern to him. He still wasn't with it, there was no pain but a general understanding of his surroundings was still alluding him. Nurses were coming and going but he had lost all concept of time, and was grappling to work out which hospital he was actually in.

He had been out in the afternoon to see his best mate, Declan, at his home to watch their team play. This had involved travelling on a train but he couldn't comprehend whether he had made it back to his home town or not. The result of the game had gone well and led to his current state. From a far it would seem ridiculous that a good result would then lead to this but this was the type of existence he currently followed. As he sat there he started to try and piece together the events of the afternoon, none of which was easily done.

He knew they had gone out after the match and remembered being in a pub, followed by another pub. It was at that point his memory became vaguer as to the events as the alcohol had taken full effect. Did he buy a cocktail somewhere? Were they thrown out of somewhere? As his mate wasn't with him he summarised they had parted company as he was meant to be catching a train, but he couldn't be sure of this. None of this at this moment in time concerned him as blackouts were a common occurrence when he had been drinking. He was pretty sure he hadn't made the train although to a large degree he was guessing.

At that point a nurse stirred him from his thoughts, she said something but he really wasn't taking any of it in. She pushed him away from the waiting room and into a ward. Once he'd managed to sit on the bed she started to attend to the bloodied nose. "How bad is it?" he slurred. "Will look a mess for a while and may leave a scar, but it's not broken." she replied. He shrugged his shoulders not so much in defiance but more resignation. He sheepishly asked what town he was in, and was told that as he suspected he hadn't made it back on the train. The nurse diligently worked away at the injured nose making small talk which couldn't have been easy with a still pissed bloke. She took his blood pressure and noted that it was high. She didn't seem overly concerned and he couldn't really take in whether there was any real significance to the reading. After all he had just fallen over and was in hospital, maybe his body was reacting to his current plight more than his mind was capable of doing.

Once the nurse had finished she pulled the curtain across and he noticed there was a room next to him with a toilet in it. He got off the bed gingerly as he wasn't that stable on his feet, went in and turned on the light and saw there was a mirror above a sink basin. Leaning on the basin he looked at himself and could see the injuries he'd inflicted upon himself. Looking at the forlorn reflection he could see he'd cut his nose across the bridge, and had a cut above his lip. Based on past experiences he'd got off lightly if being in an A&E department could be seen as such. As he looked at himself he started to talk to the reflection, telling himself what an idiot he was and how this couldn't happen again. Of course, this wasn't the first time he had gone through this routine and as could be evidenced by where he was he hadn't ever heeded these words for very long.