January 13, 2015.
“Feelings. The most perfect syllable for the expressions that you realize are newly born. One that easily covers that brutal pounding of heartbeats. A good weasel word for the wordless description rioting inside one’s body. It’s like a stepsister to Love. Both relate through a way. The word that sprang to life from the depths of devil’s glare into my dead life today. The word which vanished, extinguished and faded every inch of sensibility. Which tempted my patience, focus, discipline and…oh…Self-control. This was pure comedy. To consider the existence of this word in my centuries old rattled life… Just by one look. One look that exploded like a cursed paradise and like a plague this human affected me. Her breathe, blink and movement - like a dynamite in flesh. I had foolishly forgotten my own dark world, my very reason of presence there. Because by that one look, that wretched word broke like a capsule inside me. Inside a non-living creature. Inside the most vile representative of hell - (if that’s what they still call it.) Feelings. A word that will probably be the most precious word in my thoughts. Because surely it’s a little hard to rub off a day that shows you had the power to have feelings for someone.And I had feelings for her.”
N. S
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