A children's story of escalating violence

@ W&A web-site staff: Could you PLEASE expand your list of options for subject matter to include "stories for children"? And a few others...

The following, my 3rd "shared work" is very much a work-in-progress. One of my step-daughters has pointed out the need to flesh out Jacqueline's character and role in the proceedings, and either she or I (or both) will work on that. Further explanation. This is meant to be a picture book for ca. 8-12-year-olds. "[new page]" are indications to the illustrator (a 10-year-old friend of mine) how to space the illustrations.

Please indicate which ending structure you prefer (and why).

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It all started with a joke. Really.

And the funny thing is, the joke wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular. Anyone could have fallen into the trap. It was pure chance that it happened to be...

[new page] On Thursdays, lunch was right after Class 4’s P.E. period. This particular Thursday, 6 boys got to the lunchroom earlier than the rest of the class, who were still showering and changing.

Yaqub was the class clown. Taking advantage of the almost empty table, he unscrewed the top of one of the salt shakers, then started to screw it back, leaving it very loose.

The others snickered, but shushed each other and had resumed calm, serious faces by the time the next group of boys came in and sat down.

[new page] When Ya'aqov picked up the booby-trapped salt shaker (and remember that this was a school lunchroom salt shaker: a big thing), the first 6 boys stole looks at each other, waited, and...

[new page] burst into laughter when a huge pile of salt covered Ya'aqov’s mashed potatoes. Well, really, everybody who saw it happen laughed. And children at other tables were craning their necks to see what was going on.

Ya'aqov looked around. Yaqub was the class clown. AND the other 5 of the 1st group were all stealing looks at him. AND he was about the only one who kept a straight face. Well, it was obvious – wasn’t it? – who the guilty party was.

[new page] Ms. Stewart, one of the lunchroom workers, arrived at the centre of all the hubbub. She’d been working here for 18 years. And, believe me, she had seen this joke played HUNDREDS of times. She was rather bored with it, but the children gave it a big laugh every time.

“Go get yourself another plate of lunch,” she said to Ya'aqov.

[new page] Now, Ya'aqov didn’t have to pass Yaqub’s chair on the way to the serving counter, but he took the long way around.

“You’ll pay for this, Yaqub!” he hissed.

“But the lunches are free,” replied Yaqub. “You haven’t been paying for yours, have you, Ya'aqov?” And everybody laughed.

[new page] Who likes to be laughed at? Almost nobody – if you don’t count circus clowns. But there are some people who like it even less, some people who are REALLY bothered by being laughed at.

And Ya'aqov was one of those...

When they’d finished eating, the children took their empty dishes over to the kitchen hatchway. And while Yaqub was passing his chair, Ya'aqov stuck out his foot and...

Yaqub went sprawling, his cutlery skittered noisily across the floor, his plate and glass shattered. More laughter (of course).

[new page] Back came Ms. Stewart. “Can’t you kids be more careful?” she complained to Yaqub. “You aren’t hurt, are you? Let me see... No, you seem alright. Well, go get the dustpan and broom.”

And that’s how it all started. But it didn’t stop there. Oh, no!

[new page] When the bell for the end of the lunchtime playground break [end of lunch break] rang, and the children were lining up, ready to file back into their classrooms, Yaqub gave Ya'aqov a hard shove in the back.

“It was just bad luck that you picked up that salt shaker,” he said. “It could have been anyone. But you tripped me up on purpose.”

[new page] After school, Ya'aqov gave Yaqub an even harder shove in the back.

The other children – those who saw it – laughed. What were these 2 getting so upset about?

[new page] The next morning, somebody had poured water all over Ya'aqov’s desk. And after the lunch break, there was a drawing pin (pointy end up, of course) on Yaqub’s chair.

[new page] On Monday, at morning break, a spitball hit the back of Ya'aqov’s neck. Yyyuuukkk! And at lunchbreak, a rock flew [out of nowhere?] into Yaqub’s back.

After school, while he was passing the empty house on Lorrimer St. (his usual way home) a plastic shopping bag full of water fell on Ya'aqov’s head, drenching him from head to toe.

[new page] On Tuesday, the whole class had heard about the drenching. And some people were beginning to take sides. Some people thought that the shopping bag full of water was a BRILLIANT idea. Others thought that that was taking things too far.

Now, it just so happened that both Yaqub and Ya'aqov really liked Jacqueline. And both of them started showing off in front of her, boasting about what they were going to do to the other “to get even”, complaining about what the other had done to them. Because – of course – at any given point, each thought that the other was ahead in the nastiness [meanness] stakes.

But Jacqueline told BOTH of them that they were being silly. You don’t really need to be told (DO you?) that, when she said this, each one blamed the other one for starting it all. According to Yaqub, HE hadn’t attacked Ya'aqov: Ya'aqov had started it by tripping him up. And – of course – Ya'aqov said that if Yaqub hadn’t PLANNED to make a laughing stock out of him, none of the rest would have happened.

[new page] “I don’t care who started it,” Jacqueline would interrupt each of them. “It’s stopping it that’s important now.” (She was a sensible girl, and I can’t blame Yaqub or Ya'aqov for liking her.)

[new page] But it didn’t stop. Well, not just then...

As I’ve said, some people were beginning to take sides. Some – like Jacqueline – refused to take sides, claiming that both sides were in the wrong, that both Yaqub and Ya'aqov were being silly. And some couldn’t seem to make up their minds whether to take sides or stay out of it. Jake was one of these. Although he was more Ya'aqov’s friend than Yaqub’s, he agreed with Jacqueline that both should stop this nonsense. As Ya'aqov’s friend, he tried to talk to him, to make him see sense.

But Ya'aqov wasn’t having any of that. He reminded Jake of all the times that he had done Jake a favour. He said that if Jake didn't back him up he wasn't a real friend at all. AND he was a cowardly cowardly custard.

[new page?] On Wednesday morning, Ya'aqov had an ally: Jake held Yaqub’s arms behind his back while Ya'aqov punched him in the stomach.

On Wednesday after school, 2 of Yaqub’s friends held Ya'aqov down on the ground while Yaqub stepped on his hand – the one that he’d used earlier to punch Yaqub.

[new page] On Thursday, while Ms. James was writing out a homework assignment on the blackboard, and Ya'aqov was sharpening his pencil at the teacher’s desk, Yaqub watched him suspiciously... and one of Ya'aqov’s friends crept up from behind and... cut off his pony tail!

The whole class gasped, a detail lost on Ms. James (who was a little deaf).

[new page] BOY! Was Yaqub angry! But did he say anything to Ms. James? He did NOT. Instead, he hissed at Ya'aqov when the latter was returning to his seat:

“That’s done it, Ya'aqov! You’re in for it now...”

“Will the TWO of you stop this nonsense?!” hissed Jacqueline in her turn.

[new page] *************** [Here I'm considering 2 ways to structure the ending] ***************

Structure 1:

This story has 3 endings:

Ending #1

Of COURSE they didn’t stop this nonsense! Their pride was at stake! And, really, they were both enjoying themselves too much.

Until one weekend, Yaqub and a gang his friends, armed with broken branches, ambushed Ya'aqov in the woods and beat him up so badly that he ended up in hospital with a broken leg and 3 broken ribs, not to mention bruises all over his body.

[new page] Ending #2

Ya'aqov took Jacqueline’s words to heart and after school that same day, he approached Yaqub:

“Jacqueline’s right. We’re both being silly. Let’s stop this now. I’m really sorry about having your pony tail cut off: that was a mean trick. Here are the scissors. You can do whatever you like to my hair.”

[Actually, this 2nd ending has 2 variations: in one, Yaqub cuts a wide TRENCH through Ya'aqov’s bushy hair, and THEN then both laugh and shake hands. In the other, he starts to laugh and shakes Ya'aqov’s hand WITHOUT taking revenge. He was getting tired of all this stupid fighting anyway...]

[new page] Ending #3

It was Yaqub who took Jacqueline’s good advice and it was he who approached Ya'aqov:

“Look, Ya'aqov, Jacqueline’s right: we’re both being silly. My hair will grow back. Let’s stop this now before somebody really gets hurt...”

“What, you CHICKEN?! Remember you started this. You’re right: your hair will grow back. But you still haven’t paid enough for making everybody laugh at me like that. And I know that you’re just offering to stop because you’re scared of what I’ll do next.”

[new page] Although Yaqub did his best to keep out of Ya'aqov’s way, Ya'aqov was always looking for ways to “even the score”. It maddened him especially to see how Jacqueline was becoming friendlier to Yaqub... while giving himself those maddeningly sad, PITYING looks.

And – in this ending – it was Ya'aqov’s gang who ambushed Yaqub in the woods. And it was Yaqub who ended up in the hospital... with a lot more serious injuries than just a broken arm and 3 broken ribs.

*************** [That's the 1st structure. Here comes the 2nd:] ***************

Of COURSE they didn’t stop this nonsense! Their pride was at stake! And, really, they were both enjoying themselves too much.

Until one weekend, Yaqub and a gang his friends, armed with broken branches, ambushed Ya'aqov in the woods and beat him up so badly that he ended up in hospital with a broken leg and 3 broken ribs, not to mention bruises all over his body.

[new page] NO, NO, NO! That's not the way things went.

No, Ya'aqov took Jacqueline’s words to heart and after school that same day, he approached Yaqub:

“Jacqueline’s right. We’re both being silly. Let’s stop this now. I’m really sorry about having your pony tail cut off: that was a mean trick. Here are the scissors. You can do whatever you like to my hair.”

So Yaqub cut a wide TRENCH through Ya'aqov’s bushy hair, and then both laughed and shook hands.

[new page] No, wait a minute, it wasn't like that, either. Let's back up a little:

OK, Ya'aqov DID offer to let Yaqub do whatever he wanted to his hair, handed him the scissors... but Yaqub just started to laugh and shook Ya'aqov’s hand WITHOUT taking revenge. He was getting tired of all this stupid fighting anyway...]

[new page] Sorry! That still isn't right. Let's see...

It was Yaqub who took Jacqueline’s good advice and it was he who approached Ya'aqov:

“Look, Ya'aqov, Jacqueline’s right: we’re both being silly. My hair will grow back. Let’s stop this now before somebody really gets hurt...”

“What, you CHICKEN?! Remember you started this. You’re right: your hair will grow back. But you still haven’t paid enough for making everybody laugh at me like that. And I know that you’re just offering to stop because you’re scared of what I’ll do next.”

[new page] Although Yaqub did his best to keep out of Ya'aqov’s way, Ya'aqov was always looking for ways to “even the score”. It maddened him especially to see how Jacqueline was becoming friendlier to Yaqub... while giving himself those maddeningly sad, PITYING looks.

It was Ya'aqov’s gang who ambushed Yaqub in the woods. And it was Yaqub who ended up in the hospital... with a lot more serious injuries than just a broken arm and 3 broken ribs.