Dark Ice

Hi,

I would be extremely grateful to receive any feedback for this section of my first chapter.

Thank You :)

Chapter One

It was the coldest January afternoon the tiny village of Pine Hills had seen for a long time; fresh snow fell from the dark clouds above, burying their soaking feet in fresh snow flakes.

But still they stood there, stiff and frozen—lost in thought and overwhelmed with grief.

Tears froze on their pale cheeks in the bitter winter air and frost formed on the fresh wreaths that lay on the earthy ground. Who knows how long they had stood there, an hour? Maybe more; hand in-hand, and all in black. It had been days since it happened, but it felt like minutes. There was only the sound of their quiet sobs, and the howling of the winter wind echoing though the deserted graveyard. Still they stood there like statues; motionless, as they stared down at their best friend’s grave. Could it have only been a week since the accident? Could she really be gone?

Her name is—was—Emily McCall. She was selfless, loving and caring. And she was hard working. She strove to be the best; and some say it was this that led to her death.

It was on the last day of school before the Christmas holidays that our story begins. The sweet smell of Christmas pudding filled the snowy air and jolly carols were to be heard in the distance. No one, not even Rose Hale, (who was in bed with the worst cold imaginable) could be miserable today. It was ten minutes until the end of fifth period, and (as normal) no-one was listening to Miss Reid (the oldest and most boring teacher, you could possible imagine) babble on and on, as the minutes ticked closer and closer to home time. Liliana Rosewood was sitting nearest to the steamy windows, looking out onto the frozen lake, and wishing she could be out there now. Out in the fresh afternoon air, with her best friends—Rose Hale, Violet Smith, and Emily McCall—doing the thing they loved the most, ice-skating. Skating freely across the frozen lake at the edge of the woods, with no-one telling them what to door how to act; but unfortunately, that will have to wait until tomorrow, when Rose is better and Violet is back from her work experience at the local supermarket in Pine Hills.

Ten seconds until the final bell…maybe me and Emily could just go ice-skating, without them? Liliana thought. Eight seconds…or maybe we had better wait till Rose and Violet are back; they don’t like being left out. Five…but the weather conditions are so perfect, I’m sure Rose and Violet will understand. Four…everyone’s eyes were on the clock now. Even Miss Reid, who apparently was just as desperate to get started on the Christmas holidays as everyone else. Three…the whole class was on the edge of their seats. Two…so close now! ONE! The sound of the final bell was lost in the scraping of chairs and cheers of joy as the children rushed out of the huge wooden entrance doors and scrabbled to heave the frozen school gates open, slipping and sliding on the icy ground as they went. There, waiting at the huge green gates was Emily McCall, shivering slightly in the frosty breeze.

‘Come on Lily, I’m freezing out here!’ called Emily, pulling her fluffy pink coat tighter around herself as Liliana approached. ‘Sorry’ Lily called back as she skidded to a halt in front of Emily. ‘Listen, I know Rose and Violet aren’t here, but…’ she pursed her lips, looking straight into Lily’s deep green eyes, with her mouth twitching into a smile, and Lily knew what was coming next before Emily even finished her sentence, ‘the weather's perfect for skating…I’m sure they would understand.’

‘Understand? Are you kidding? They didn’t talk to us for a week last time!’ laughed Lily, pushing her long dark brown hair out of her forest green eyes, as she glanced at the frozen lake behind her, before saying slowly, with a wide grin spreading across her snowy face ‘but it would be a shame to waste such a good day’. Giggling and dodging the soft snowballs whizzing past their heads, they made their way down the winter filled streets and (after picking up their silvery ice skates from home, and dropping off their heavy school bags) made their way up to the still lake, leaving only their footprints behind in the fresh afternoon snow. ‘Come on Lily, it’ll be dark by the time you’re ready!’ shouted Emily, who was already whizzing around the frozen surface of the lake and leaving Lily struggling to tie her thin skate laces, with numb cold figures. ‘Good’ said Emily as Lily made her way across the lake to join her. ‘I need you to help me with my backwards spin; I want to be able to do it perfectly’ ‘You can already do it perfectly, without my help’ Lily called, rolling her eyes and skating across the lake to try her own spins. It wasn’t until the crystal blue sky had turned brilliant red and the faint silhouette of the full moon could just be seen in the evening sky that Lily noticed a faint red glow speeding across the ice's surface.

She stopped dead, heart racing a little, and staring at the place where she saw the light—or at least thought she saw it. Maybe it was a reflection from a car on the main road—but the road was miles away. Or maybe it was a bird overhead, but when she looked around there wasn’t a single bird in sight. In fact I haven’t so much as heard a tweet of a bird all day, Lily thought. But maybe that’s just because the weather is getting cold. Yes, that's it; it’s too cold for the birds to fly. So what was that red light? She looked down at the cold lake surface, thinking hard. I know, it was a fish, there must be fish under the surface—in the summer this is a very popular fishing lake. Feeling rather embarrassed that she had got worked up over a fish, she looked over at Emily (who had now moved on from perfecting spins to perfecting jumps) and clearly she hadn’t noticed anything odd; but that wasn’t surprising, Emily hardly notices anything around her when she’s on the ice. The ice could have broken and she wouldn’t notice, thought Lily. But just as the thought came there was a bang; Lily whizzed around, so fast she almost fell, but caught herself, at the last second. She stood shocked for a couple of seconds trying to take in the scene. It was like she was watching it in slow motion—she saw the ice cracking, deeper, and the icy water spilling over the rough surface, but she couldn’t move! It was as if she was glued to this very spot, wide eyed and mouth hanging open. The wind howled worse than ever, and the peaceful red sky was lost in heavy storm clouds above. It wasn’t until Emily’s desperate cries for help met

Lily’s frozen ears, that she came out of shock and bolted down the crumbling ice to help Emily, who was waist deep in the murky lake water and sinking fast! But Lily was too late. She wanted to scream for help, but her voice seemed lost. Her tears blurred her eyes as she splashed in the melting ice, but it was no use—Emily was too far under. CRACK—the ice was caving in around Lily. She had to move but could no longer feel her legs; she was sinking into the freezing water. I’m going to die, was her last thought before she drifted into unconsciousness…

In the distance she heard people calling her name, telling her everything was going to be okay. Slowly she felt the numbness in her frozen limbs wear off; she was wrapped in something soft and warm, but this did not stop the aching of her stiff bones, or the pounding in her head. The faint voices that seemed so far way came closer as she drifted back into consciousness. She heard sobs, and screams of horror, words of comfort (‘everything’s going to be okay’). What was happening? Lily thought, as she forced open her heavy eyelids. She was staring at a clean white ceiling, and wrapped from head to toe in a fluffy white blanket. The crying from outside seemed to get louder; she tried to lift her head to see who it was, but her head seemed to weigh a million pounds.

‘Lily?’ whispered a faint voice from beside her.

‘Huh?’ slowly Lily rolled her head on the soft pillow, to look at

Violet and Rose’s tear stained faces. ‘What happened?’ she croaked; her throat was dry and sore.

‘Don’t you remember?’ whispered Rose as fresh tears formed in her sea-blue eyes. Remember? Remember what? Desperate for answers, Lily forced herself upright—ignoring the sharp stabbing she felt in the back of her head—and looked around. At first she didn’t feel anything, just staring emptily at the remains of the frozen lake. She was in an ambulance, surrounded by half the village; night had fallen now, and the moon shone brighter than ever in the starless sky above.

How long have they been here? It wasn’t until her eyes fell upon Mr and Mrs McCall’s pale heartbroken faces, did she remember—

Emily! Suddenly she turned back to Rose and Violet, ignoring the throbbing pain in her head.

‘Where’s Emily?’ she looked into Violet's eyes; Rose’s body began to shake uncontrollably. Violet pressed her thin lips together as fresh tears formed in her own light brown eyes. ‘Where is she?’ her voice raising to a shout.

‘Lily’ Violet began, in a whisper ‘Emily’s—s-she’s dead, she d-drowned’.

Her voice cracked with emotion. Lily lay staring into her pale face, unable to find a voice, as her heavy eyelids slid back over her watery eyes, and the voices drifted back into the distance as she floated into a deep sleep.

‘Lily?’ She jumped, as Rose spoke for the first time in hours, pulling Lily out of her thoughts and back to reality. The sun was setting behind the frosty trees, and the snow came down worse than ever. Lily pulled her black fur hood tighter over her frosty face trying to shield herself against the deadly winds.

Slowly they made their way back past the candle-lit church and climbed up the snowy road, leaving fresh footsteps as they went.

No-one spoke; there was only the soft crush of the snow under their icy feet and the howl of frosty wind, echoing through the narrow streets as they went.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Rose called from her doorstep, before she slammed it shut behind her. Violet and Lily walked on, up the streets; snow in their faces and wind whipping their long hair.

‘It’s not your fault, you know’ said Violet, and it wasn’t a question.

‘Hmm’ was all Lily could manage to say. She didn’t want to talk about Emily; the thought of her was too painful to bear. It was as if she was being kicked in the head by a horse. Being kicked in the head would be less painful, thought Lily savagely, as she hurried up to her front door (calling bye to Violet as she went) and digging through her glossy black bag for her keys.