*EMPATHY*
-Do you see this empathy i have?
The sincerity i have?
The forgiveness i have chosen to give?
For not just my mistakes but yours, i'm willing to forgive. Sorry, that was a lie! I can't forgive.
Not for 'how not bothered you are of how little you have sid.
But maby the fact you have never wanted to even get to know me.
Never really knowed me.
I suppose i can never understand/get over just how quickly you disowned me.
Maby you could at least help me see your point of view,whatever it may be- It will help me to at least get a glimpse of me-
Hi, Melissa!
I'll "fess up": I'm the "dear friend" that Wilhelmina "outed". ;p :)
When I was still in my teens, I thought it unfair that she, he, it, we, you, and they were all written with lower case, while I was written with a capital letter. I started writing "i" whenever that word didn't begin a sentence (or begin a line in a poem). But I have to admit that I ALSO had a very low feeling of self-worth at that time.
As I gained in self-confidence (if you want/need my self-therapy plan, you have only to ask), I went through a phase where I began all those other pronouns with capital letters, no matter where they stood in a sentence. I even capitalised them when they were the object, not subject.
Example: "When She came with Them to visit Me, I was..."
This irritated/confused those receiving my letters, and the practice didn't last long.
Ironically, now that I've adopted the Catalan way of writing my name (Hollis was my father's surname, Dickson was my mother's maiden name, the i between the 2 means "and"), that i should always be written like that: Jimmy Hollis i Dickson. But this web-site's technology WON'T ALLOW THAT as my user name, converting the i to I automatically... as if it were my middle initial!
Would you accept a hug from me, as well?
Glad to have you aboard!
Jimmy
My 3rd incursion into Melissaland:
a) Evidently typos:
You start with an inverted comma: 'how not, but don't finish with another.
I wonder if "of" might be "or".
These 2 together might point at: Not for 'how not bothered you are' or 'how little you have said'.
sid should be said. I GUESS.
maby maybe (twice).
b) Possible faulty grammar:
knowedknown (have known) or knew. If you want this to rhyme with “disowned”, “known” is obviously to be preferred.
c) Punctuation
view,whatever view, whatever
d) POSSIBLE laziness, but I bet not:
I notice that in all 3 poems (the 3 that I’ve read so far) you don’t use the capital letter for “I”. All 3 poems deal with rejection, abandonment, and (in one case) being compared unfavourably with a brother. I have a dear friend (also a poet) who for years, not only used small-case “i” in his poems, but also in his letters to friends and family. In his case, there was a history of rejection, abandonment, and being compared unfavourably with a brother.
I have not corrected your “i”s to “I”s (though – typing in Word ® - it was corrected for me, and I’m afraid that I can’t edit past comments here, and I may have let some “I”s slip through.
Given the subject matter of the 3 poems, I feel that the use of “i” is a powerful tool to illustrate a lack of self-confidence.
HOWEVER – and even more importantly – I want to tell you that you have NO REASON to suffer from this lack of self-confidence. Your simple poems have a power to hit home. You have every reason to be proud of them… and of yourself.
Will you accept a friendly hug?
Wilhelmina