Fragment

by Rachel frost
24th May 2015

Chapter 1

The warm crisp summer air filled the small park, looking over skyscrapers and office building, the only place where no man has ever touched, this place was more like a little forest in the middle of a city filled with people rushing to catch the ten o’clock train, and lines longer then the great wall of China to get their Starbucks’s coffee that will only give them a small burst of energy for their miserable day.

Dylan and Sammy sat on a brick wall just behind the dense trees of the little forest, hiding for the world of humans; it was their own place they would go together, if they wanted to escape the world together, just them two. The peaceful atmosphere surrounded them to the point were they could hear the builders complaining about how hot it was to continue building the block of concrete only to be used for machines typing away on their computer only to go home to their one bedroom flat with a cat named after a famous person or something on the lines of Mr cutie fudge cakes. Although it does happen Dylan and Sammy didn’t care, they only cared for each other, after all they are best friends of 17 years.

Their parents met on the first day of high school and through out high school they became closer as time went by but with every friendship there is always tragedy. In the year of 1996 Sammy’s mum found out she was pregnant, good news to the family but sad new to her, she was already dying for some sort of cancer. She didn’t want to tell anyone because the cancer treatment was over priced because the government are greedy fuckers so she didn’t want to put her family through a death and a huge debt, so she kept it a secret. Over the months she became weak like a china doll, she couldn’t get out of bed without someone’s help, Sammy’s dad become worried, he thought the child inside her womb was killing her.

On the day of Sammy birth, was somewhat bitter sweet, a new life come into this world while a life was taken to who knows where, no one saw it coming, everyone just assumed that is was the pregnancy was wearing her out, she never saw her son either, she died trying to push a little fragile human out, with a cry the doctors were relived that the tiny human was breathing but they all looked up to Sammy’s mum lying there peaceful dead on the bed.

Sammy’s dad became distressed, overwhelmed with the death of his wife and the secret that she kept from him, the what if’s floated round his head for many years, but he knew he couldn’t dwell on the past, he had to give up everything, to give his son the best future he could give, even it means pushing the memories of this beloved wife to the back of his broken mind.

A year after Sammy’s mum died, Dylan’s mum gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, they where over joyed, as well as the feeling of, well relieved that no one died, just the same as their parents they became close as the years went by, they were inseparable.

They sat on a brick wall, together everyday after coming home from school, no words just silence.

‘Dylan do you know what day it is?’ Sammy randomly said breaking the faint noise of the builders working on a new building only 100 yard way.

‘No what?’ Dylan turned her head towards Sammy, giving a questionable look.

"It's a year today" Sammy mumbled to himself quickly.

"A year since what Sammy?" Sammy jumped of the brick wall, walked through the dense tress onto the dirt footpath.

"Sammy you can't just tell me something then finish half way through" Dylan laughter humorously pushing the leaves from her face while catching up with Sammy pace, Sammy only smiled to himself, thinking of the memories that Dylan can't remember. It's sad that Dylan doesn't remember, but it shouldn't be Sammy remembering it should be Dylan.

Sammy turned his head towards Dylan, looking straight into her brown, almost hazel eyes that were floating round with emotions like a sailor lost at sea. Sammy studied her face like a sculpture in an art museum, every bump, every curve, every colour come to life in his world, and every emotion that was put in her face, every flaw, every imperfection, every beauty.

But that day Sammy looked at Dylan differently, like a wild beast craving blood apron its lips, wanting to hear the sounds of flesh ripping and bones braking, the dripping of blood falling from the walls to the floor, to feel the burning sensation settle down with in his untamed heart, feeding the beast inside him. He did that, he killed many souls during the evil he had done, but it was to late, everyone saw the aftermath of the unpleasant, that night his curl mind came alive, no one saw it coming, not even Dylan.

The sound of Dylan’s phone brought him back into reality, shaking his head slightly so get the images out of his head; he could feel the same burning sensation in his chest as he did on that same day, he knew it was a matter of time before his beast will break out and become a living nightmare and not a horror sense in his head, he knew that day will come and when it does he will feel alive like never before.

Dylan brought her phone toward her ear, with the look on her face he knew it would be her mum, she calls Dylan everyday at the same time telling her to come home for dinner, Sammy could hear her mumble ‘okays’ and ‘yeas’ into her phone. He would get irritated with her mum calling everyday, he just wanted to spend time with Dylan, just him and her, but someone always gets in the way, when they were younger that would spend all day and even some nights together, he missed that.

to be continued!!

Comments

Hi Rachel,

You have an interesting start to a story here, however there are a few typos and issues with punctuation that get in the way of the story. Also be careful not to swap from past to present tense eg using 'has' instead of 'had'.

I'm not going to pick them all out but here's a couple of things that might help:

In a couple of places you have typed 'for' instead of 'from' eg 'she was already dying for some sort of cancer' - this sounds like she wanted to get cancer!

I think your first sentence could be broken up a little, Currently it is:

'The warm crisp summer air filled the small park, looking over skyscrapers and office building, the only place where no man has ever touched, this place was more like a little forest in the middle of a city filled with people rushing to catch the ten o’clock train, and lines longer then the great wall of China to get their Starbucks’s coffee that will only give them a small burst of energy for their miserable day.'

I think it would read a little better if you ammended it slightly to:

'The warm crisp summer air filled the small park. Standing amongst the skyscrapers and office buildings, it was the only place that no man had ever touched. This place was more like a little forest in the middle of a city- a city filled with people rushing to catch the ten o’clock train, and lines longer than the great wall of China, as they queue to get their Starbucks’s coffee, that will only give them a small burst of energy for their miserable day.

Otherwise, it has made me interested to find out what Dylan might do next!

I hope this helps. Thanks for sharing.

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Theresa
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Theresa Brosnan
30/05/2015