My torso
It's a venue
It's a party
It's a disco
And it's dancing
Gladly to the thought of you.
I long to hold you near
To hold you close
My bear
You cannot hear my disco
As it orchestrates my love
For you.
It may be out of time
It could be
Off key
But....
You have to know
How truly happy
You make me.
Hi Clare, thanks for the feed back. I did write body originally but I wanted torso because for me, everything was happing in and around my internal organs - heart flutter, funny tummy growl & involuntary sensations. It's good to hear from other writers, opens my eyes & keeps us striving. x
I like the way you've used music as a metaphor in this Vicky, for me body would read better than torso, wouldn't your whole body, legs etc be the venue? And I think there may be a better word than gladly - happily/ joyously?? Only my opinion though and I'm certainly no expert on poetry. I like your poetry though, I like the snappiness of it - able to convey the feelings in a few words