Improved that YA story a little....I think

I posted a chapt of my attempted YA book called Arabelle some time ago. I have been working on improving this as my usual genre is dark fantasy, horror..ish and erotic. I have changed her name to Ember and worked on my detail/description a little as I think the last one lacked it. *fingers crossed*

Ember stared out the window of Maisie’s Diner as rainclouds rolled in at great speed across the dark sky. Puddles on the roads caused small waves up on the pavements every time a car drove by. She let her eyes roam over the faces of the people who walked by, wondering what brought them outside in to the storm at such an ungodly hour, though she often thought the same of the regular customers who stumbled in past midnight to sip at the hot cappuccinos Maisie offered.

Turning to finish wiping the tables before the end of the shift, Ember glanced at those left in the Diner. A drunken man nursed a headache, cradling his head in his hands as he swallowed a mouthful of coffee. Near one of the large windows looking out at the street a lean, handsome man with short, sprinkled grey hair and dark eyes flicked the pages of a newspaper. He came in every night and, as usual, his mobile phone, a pen and a notepad sat upon the table. Ember knew, in another five minutes, he would get a call, finish his drink, fold up the paper and leave a tip before collecting his things and leaving the Diner. The one other customer was Dale, a homeless man who had been coming in to Maisie’s ever since Ember had worked there. Each night he slid in to the booth at the end of the Diner, farthest from the doors, and dozed. Sometimes he would sing and murmur to himself, other nights he would engage a customer in conversation, but mostly he slept. Maisie would always offer a free coffee, having taken a shine to the homeless man.

Ember glanced over at him and smiled fondly, and a little sadly. Dale was a nice man and held the qualities of someone who used to be a ‘somebody’. His eyes, when he was not asleep, were always sharp and alert. His skin was lightly tanned, only showing a few light wrinkles at his eyes and mouth and his arms were strong and muscled beneath his ripped clothing. The few times Ember had helped him to his feet at closing time and taken his hand in hers, she had been amazed at the strength in them, the sheer size of them, and she always wondered at the thick calluses and faded scars.

Wiping perspiration from her brow and pushing back her wild golden brown hair, she sighed heavily. The Diner was clean and ready for the early morning shift she was due to work…in less than six hours. The thought of the half hour walk home was not a pleasant one when her feet ached. Still, she would never complain out loud, the owner, Maisie, worked sixteen hour days and never gave up, even when she was exhausted.

The clock finally chimed its 1am call, telling the few stragglers it was time to leave and find their way home, or to another Diner. Relief washed over Ember, though it was short lived. By the time she had walked home, undressed and finally crashed on her bed in her little one bedroom flat, it would be soon time to wake and start all over again.

“Almost done out here, Ember?” Maisie poked her head out the serving hatch and smiled tiredly. Her masses of red curls were held back with a faded head band with a cute little ribbon on it.

Glancing around at the polished tables and sparkling steel serving counter, she said, “Yes.”

Maisie nodded a little lethargically and Ember could see the weariness behind the cheerful expression she wore. Maisie had inherited the Diner from her parents two years ago after a tragic accident claimed their lives. The profits were not great but the Diner was a piece of her family history and she would be damned if she ever shut it down, even if it meant working double shifts, slaving over a hot cooker and doing it all without complaint.

“I will lock up the office,” she informed me and disappeared back through the hatch.

The task of ushering out the strays was Ember’s. She glanced over at the greying man with the newspaper just as his phone trilled tunelessly. He grinned up at her, collected his belongings and left in his usual manner. The drunk pushed away his cup and made his way to the door, swaying and tripping over his own feet.

She turned to Dale who dozed in the corner and smiled.

“Dale? Dale, honey, its Ember.”

He struggled to open his eyes and she smiled patiently, waiting for him to come round from his nap. It was a fond ritual between them and had been every night for two years.

Thick stubble obscured much of his face, making his age hard to guess. He seemed older, in his fifties, at moments like this, and yet others, when he was wide awake and telling old jokes he looked closer to forty. When he finally manage to open his eyes they were warm and dark and inviting. They made Ember feel safe and comfortable, though she had no idea why. Her parents always warned her about vagabonds, homeless people and those who stumbled down the dark streets at night, telling her they were dangerous, not to be spoken to if one could help it. But Ember liked Dale and had done from the first night he stumbled in to the little corner booth and smiled up at her as she served him his first free coffee.

“Hey, sleepy head,” she sang softly.

Dale smiled, showing white teeth that did not match his dirty clothes and broken shoes. “Ember,” he said in his gravely voice.

“Good morning,” she laughed.

He squinted at her. “You look terrible.”

“Ah, such a charmer, Dale. Whatever would I do without you?”

Dale smiled but still he said, “You work too hard, Ember. You should get yourself some sleep.”

“I will,” she promised. “As soon as you let me go home.”

Dale coughed a laugh as he pulled himself out of the booth, laying a hand on Ember’s dainty shoulder for support.

“You are a good girl, Ember. You be careful out there tonight. Weather looks terrible.”

“Don’t worry about me, Dale, you just find somewhere warm and safe to stay.”

He gave her shoulder an affectionate gentle shake and made his way to the entrance, throwing a backward wave and chuckling to himself about something Ember could not hear. She sighed. The customers were gone and all was left was to face the storm outside and find a few hours sleep.