Jemima

Preface

I had never crossed my mind of how I ended up in a cold place, where is it was quite and dim I felt alone. I kept hearing voices in my head repeatedly and having flashbacks of things that happen the couple of weeks before.

I always wake up early hours in the morning thinking why that happened I was so stupid not to escape from the building. However, I knew my cry for help and I knew someone would be there to save me from death.

When it was a sunny day on the year of June 1986 in England the couple who had a child was named Lacey and her husband named got married after the marriage the couple settle into there home in a little village, the couple had a child that was born on a wet cold raining day on mid summer evening when the mother Lacey held her in her arms for the first time seeing her new joy the mother said her baby was a bright child like the sun she had red hair like a rose the mother called her Jemima. As years passed I grew up into an adult I was sitting near the tree in the field not far from my home I was reading a book enjoying the sun and the I heard my father calling me saying “ Jemima come here we have something to tell you.” I closed my book and made a little fold mark to save a page I was reading, soon as I got to the house my mother Lacey was in the kitchen as she told me to sit down at the table as she told me some good new saying how to you feel about becoming a sister? I looked at my mother and father with a shock on my face saying, “I am going to be a sister?” I said as I looked at my mother stomach I saw that she was carrying my brother or sister. Your father and I are already excited for our new arrival and we want you to be there to help us out for when your baby sister or brother is born. I looked at my mother and father saying “I will be there for my sister or brother and help out for when she cry or when she needs feeding and when she the attention if ever you needed a break.” My father George looked at me and smiled as he said, “well that sorted then.” I turned my head around towards the window and I saw my best friend Katie coming this way, she was asking me if I would like to go into the village with her and do some shopping and I said, “I would love to.” I told her the news saying, “I am going to be a sister. Katie said to me “congrats my friend I am happy for you and your mother and father we should celebrate later after we been into the village.” I looked at my friend Katie and said “yeah sure we must I best go and get myself ready and sort my hair out I don’t want to look a mess when I go into the village.” I kissed my mum and dad on the cheek as me and Katie went up stairs into my tiny room as I got my brush out and sat by on the chair and I brush my hair gently as I put it up in a pony tale as my friend Katie was looking in the mirror while she was talking to me about a guy she really loves. Katie told me she sight eyes on this man at a party the other night she told me he had brown hair and blues eyes I was still brushing my hair while I was still listening to what she was telling me Katie told she didn't have the guts to ask him out, as I said “will you see him again and what was his name?” Katie took a long think to remember what his name was and after a long think, she told his name was Ethan. Katie told me she was with her sister while she was watching Ethan dancing with the other guest in the house and I said to Katie “I want to her more what happen next.” Katie told me he walked towards me and asked me to dance with him and I froze I felt like I couldn't move a and he asked me “ may I have a pleasure to dance with you Miss.” My lips started to tremble as I said, “of course the pleasure is all mine.” I took his hand and then we both walked side by side onto the dance floor. I looked at Katie, as I was gob smack; I put the brush down on the dressing table and told Katie “I think he fancies you if he asked you too dance with him that night.” Katie blushes and said to me “maybe you’re right he must of but he is too rich and I am not.” I looked at Katie and said “money isn’t always everything only love that matter to the person.” Katie smiled at me and said, “Let’s go into the village before it gets too late.” I got my coat of the hook that was hanging on my door as I put my coat on to keep me warm for when I go outside because it was cold I put my gloves on to keep my hands warm, When I was sorted me and my friend Katie walked out of my bedroom to the bottom of the stairs as we walked out the front door as I felt the cold wind hit me in the face like a bullet. While I was walking with my friend Katie I didn't know the path was so slippy with ice and for that moment I slipped and landed on my left knew and my left hand it didn’t’ hurt well only a bit then I looked up and I saw Katie Laughing I said to her” that wasn’t funny you know.” I got up and I felt my knee hurting just a bit but I still carried on walking into the village with my best friend as I made sure I didn’t’ ended up slipping again. I looked ahead of me and I saw a nice top in the shop window that I wanted to try because I was thinking on buying it to wear it was a black and white stripy to I said to my best friend Katie and said “can we go in this shop first so I could try this top on.” Katie looked at me and said she was fine with it as she came inside the store with me as I walked straight to the clothes rack and pick up the top that I wanted to try on as I went into the changing room to try the top on the size I choose was a size 12. While I was in the changing room taking the top off that I was wearing and trying the new one on I kept looking myself in the mirror and I knew the top was the right fit and it felt silky and warm just enough to keep me warm, I open the changing room curtain as I saw Katie sitting down waiting for I asked for her advice on what she thought about the top I was trying on. Katie looked at me and told me “I really like it looks good on you . “ I smiled at her and thank her for the nice comment she gave as I said, “I am buying it.” As I put the top in the basket so I could go and pay for it later as me and Katie had a look around the store and see if there was anything that was new in. I took a good look around the shop and I did not see anything I would like so I went up to the counter and paid for the top I wanted. I gave the money to the person what was serving me as she asked me would you like to keep the hanger I said no so she put the top in a plastic bag for me and the receipt as well, I then turn around and saw my best friend Katie standing behind me and as we went towards the door after I paid for my top as we got out of the shop I saw another friend of mine her name was Valentina she asked me if she wanted to come bingo with her for a girls night I was one of them people who couldn’t’ make my mind up if I wanted to go or not. It took me awhile to make my mind up as I told my friend Valentina maybe I will come out another time because I am spending the day with Katie since she asked me first oh by the way I have some good news to tell you I am going to be a sister. Valentina looked at me and said, “Congrats I hope the birth of your new baby sister of brother goes well.” I looked at my friend Valentina and said “thank you.” I looked at my watch to check to see what time it was it was about 2 o clock in the afternoon as I said “ right I best go back home because it will be dark soon.” I hugged my friend Valentina as I said good bye to her and I will catch up with her some other time as me and Katie walked the other to head back home before the snow get worse because it already started snowing heavy as I felt my face was cold I was shriving I kept telling Katie in a shriving voice saying “L-l-l-lets go please I-I-I- am getting cold.” I felt my teeth chattering together. Katie and I just carried on walking faster on the same path that led us into the village as we carried on walking the snow was getting worse me and Katie were shriving and all we wanted to do was go back mine and have a nice warm cup of tea. While I was walking beside my best friend Katie, I look forward as I already saw my house as I said, “thank god were back.” We walked up towards the front as I grabbed hold on to the door knob as I push the front door open as me and my friend Katie went inside the house in the warm out of the cold I saw my father as he looked at the both of us and saw us shriving to death as he said to us “ I can see you pair shaking to death and the heating is already on so you too should feel nice and warm” I was taking off my coat and scarf and gloves as I hanged them up as I said “ thanks dad.” I looked at my friend Katie and asked her “would you like a cup of tea.” she replied to me saying, “yes please I would love one.” I smiled as I walked into the kitchen as I filled the kettle up with just enough water in for the two of us, I then asked my friend Katie to take a seat on the chair that was by the table in the kitchen as I waited for the kettle to boil. While I was waiting I got my top out of the bag as I was please with what I brought as I told Katie I might wear this for going out for this Friday up town since it’s an outgoing top what do you think? Katie replied to me and said, “You will look great with it on.” “I haven’t picked anything I want to wear yet but I will find something in the end.” Katie said to me, I then looked back at the kettle and I knew it was already boiled as I walked over to the cupboard where the cups where and I got to cups out one for me and Katie and I went up to the fridge as I open it I got the milk out and then I walked back over to where the Kettle was I put a tea bag in mine and Katie cup and then I got the kettle of the stand as I poured the hot water in my cup first and then Katie after I then put the kettle back on the stand as I got spoon as I got the tea bags out and then I poured the milk in as I mixed the milk and tea in together as I asked my friend Katie do you take Sugar she looked at me as she said “ no thank you know I don’t do sugar.” I looked at my friend as I smiled and said in a sweet voice “ ok that is no problem “ I open the sugar tin as I put in two sugars in Katie cup I then gave my Katie her tea as I sat by the table as I sip some of mine. I turn to look at Katie as I asked her you fancy going out tomorrow night when I get the money. Katie looked back at me and told me “I would love to that sounds like a great idea.” I said “ that is sorted then town tomorrow night which is something to look forward to you never know you might see Ethan, Katie face went all red as I said Ethan name as I looked at her saying “ oh there is no need to be embarrassed by it.” As I drank my tea I looked at my cup and I knew that I have drank it I looked at my friend Katie as I told her shall we go up stairs into my room? I need to go on the internet to look and see if there are any new books in the book store where I buy my books from I do love reading in my spare time. I then got up from the chair by the table as I went to the sink as I washed mine and Katie cups, After I done them me and my friend Katie went up stairs into my room as I went up to my laptop as I turn in on by the switch. As I waited for my laptop to come on I went over to my cd player as I played some music for us I then asked Katie what music you would like on. Katie looked at me and said, “I don’t mind I like anything she told me.” I looked threw all of my cds I had on the shelf I kept looking threw all of them Katie didn't know I had so many cds and DVDs in my room. When I kept looking I then picked out a cd we could listen to which was my favorite band Within Temptation . I got the cd out of its case as I put it in the cd player and then pressed the play button as I played the song called Truth Beneath the Rose which was the first song on the track. I then heard the sound from my laptop I knew it was switch on as me and my friend Katie sat by it as I type in my password to log on and while the song Truth Beneath the Rose that was sang by the band called Within Temptation me and my friend Katie started to sing along to the words while the laptop was logging me in after I type in the password. I then clicked on the Google chrome for the net as it took a bit to load up as I waited the next track on the cd came on the song called overcome sang by the same band called Within Temptation , I then went on to the search bar on the net as I type in the nearest book shop my friend Katie asked me what type of book was I looking for I told her I like any kind of book I said to her “I like love and crime and fantasy a bit of a mixture.” Katie told me I was full of an ambition girl liking to read books. I turned to Katie as I said, “I love reading books with a good story but I do love reading love stories and some Crime a bit of a mixture really. While I was searching on the net for the nearest book store, Katie looked towards the window as she told me” looks like its still showing but coming down like water. “I don’t think I will be able to make it home tonight.” I then said, “Shall I ask my parents if you could sleep here tonight until the snow dies down.” Katie replied as she looked at me and said, “I would love to stop over if it’s okay with your parents I don’t want to be in the way.” I told Katie as I said, “you won’t be in the way you will be with me in my room we can watch a film and have a girly night.” That is great Katie said to me. I will go down stairs to let my parents know that your staying here you can borrow one of my pajamas to wear for the night , I open the door to my

Comments

Hello Jemma,

I'm afraid I just had the same problem as Penny in that the writing didn't seem to pause for breath and I think you may have missed out some words, such as the father's name. Punctuation is important, as is spelling and programmes like Word can help with that.

I am currently finishing a piece of work and editing and I still miss correcting things.

Thank you for sharing your work and good luck.

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Gilly
Ansell
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Gilly Ansell
16/08/2012