Lost in Truth and Corruption - chapter 1

by Victoria Birkitt
31st January 2012

Chapter 1

~Creation~

Around the golden goblet of mortal blood they stood, the goddesses Thelma, Calla, Nox and Wavandra. They watched as the sorcerer, Aodan burned down yet another village of beautiful, wise elves that had lived in the wood of Veneficus for thousands of years with his army, that he had created with the assistance of the Goddess Zeta. She’d hated all mortals for as long as the others could remember and now they had targeted Thelma’s children, just as she had targeted the children of the other Goddesses.

Her hate had grown until there was nothing in the mortal world that she had any true emotions towards. She would have preferred to see it all burn and be destroyed before her very eyes in a terrible fiery pit, that could be compared to nothing else but how many mortals on Earth believe to be hell. For a long time she had hated the other Goddesses and their children and willed to destroy everything the Goddesses held dearly.

“I believe it’s time,” Calla whispered, as she couldn’t bare to watch the natural beauty in the mortal world, that she had created be destroyed before her very eyes.

“This has to end! I can not watch more of our children being slaughtered because of her”

“It does need to end! They have destroyed to much,” Thelma agreed.

“So we go forth with it?” Nox asked.

“We must,” Thelma replied.

They walked away from the goblet and towards an altar. The altars base was covered in beautiful living flowers, that continued to grow in front of the Goddesses and had two candles resting on it. One red and one yellow. They grabbed a large crystal and a pot.

Wavandra melted white candle wax in the pot and began to mold it into the figure of a young girl. Nox placed the large almost clear crystal on the alter, and Wavandra soon brought the completed wax doll of a young girl no older than eighteen.

The goddesses looked from one to the other each prepared to follow through with the prophecy spoken in the mortal world a century before by a young elf, that had been more connected to Thelma‘s wisdom than others. It had been back when Aodan reign and destruction had only just begun.

Calla cut a lock of her own fiery auburn hair and placed it on the head of the wax doll. “To give her the ever lasting beauty for told years before. A beauty that no man can deny and all men feel lust for even those of the purest of hearts. A beauty that be called the Sirens beauty”

Nox closed her hands one over the other and closed her eyes in concentration. A bright light that began within her heart and shot down the veins in both of her arms that the others of the reflection of the moons light in the water of the sea. She opened her eyes and opened her hands once the light was shining like a new moon in her hands to reveal a necklace the perfect size for the wax doll.

The pendant was a beautiful silver dragons claw gripping onto a piece of amber that reminded Nox of the sun that she had never truly glimpsed at as much as she had always wanted to. The others watched as Nox placed the pendant on the neck of the wax doll. “To give her a heart powerful and brave and filled with the courage that be for told years before. A bravery no man can compare to, a power no man can level with and purity no man can change. For this be her heart of purity”

Thelma looked at the tattoo of a bracelet around her own wrist. The tattoo showed each link and a charm of a locket but what lay upon that locket was several beautiful spirals and written within it was the word ‘Spirit’. The tattoo began to ripple as it left Thelma’s skin and appeared upon the skin of the wax doll. “To give her the knowledge and wisdom when war is upon her and when she must fight for the Goddesses light. This wisdom be like no other man has seen. This wisdom shall allow her to see into the hearts of the any man through a touch and show her things that she wills to see just as it was spoken years before. For this marking shall be her call of wisdom”

Wavandra was the last as she placed her index finger on her right hand over the wax dolls eyes and the other over its throat. “In her eyes to show the sea, to give her a voice that can lure any man to his death. A voice that can manipulate things around her from the elements to a mans thoughts and wishes and even his heart. This voice shall be like no voice any man has ever heard and shall carry the powerful legend spoken of years before. It shall sing like a thousand angels. For this voice shall be her Sirens song” a bright light left Wavandra’s hands and entered the figures eyes, throat and lungs so that the doll was glowing a bright for a moment which soon faded.

Once this was done Wavandra removed her hands from the wax doll and looked to her fellow Goddesses.

“Where may we place her? Where no creature can find her before she awakes?” Calla asked as she looked at each of the Goddesses her face filled with worry and concern that Aodan may find their creation and destroy it before it had time to awaken and fight the evil that Zeta had brought upon the world that had created.

“We may place her in my oceans hidden away in the old ruins where no creature may find her from the sirens and to mermaids. For no creature ventures there anymore. But there are many places in my oceans where she cannot be found but the ruin is most preferable if I may say so myself” Wavandra said with a smile.

Nox took out a sharp sliver blade that held a beautiful moon stone in its handle and written upon blade was a sentence written in Latin that read:

De herbis et nox lunae

Each of the Goddesses held out their left wrist and Nox ran her blade across each Goddesses wrist cutting it open before cutting her own and each of the Goddesses allowed one drop of their blood to fall upon the wax doll. When the blood began to fall each gained a brilliant glow.

“To give our creation life. Our daughter, it is time to awaken” the Goddesses each spoke together as their blood fell onto the doll. Quickly the doll began to develop an internal heart and it wasn’t long before the Goddesses blood soaked into the doll and began to pump through her veins.

The white candle wax slowly began to turn into skin and organs began to develop in her body as the blood flowed through her newly created veins. Calla’s lock of hair became her own hair and began to grow long and wavy from the girls scalp and her face became a true work of beauty and art just as Calla had gifted her with.

The necklace Nox had created and placed upon the doll let several small jolts of light rush through the girls newly created veins and that was when the girl took in her very first breath and her long black eyelashes began to flutter as she opened her eyes for the first time and looked at the Goddesses that stood before her.

The Goddesses looked each other and smiled proudly at their creation. For she truly was a creation of utter beauty yet ultimate power. She was a creation of both seduction and saviour of man.

She was their last chance at fighting Zeta and saving the world they’d worked so hard to create. To save their children that had taken so much time and effort to create each individual. To gift their children and allow them to more fall ward with the new times but never losing their faith in the Goddesses.

They knew none of this could be lost and they couldn’t allow Zeta to win this war that she had begun yet they were determined to end.

Calla placed some clothes that had already been created for their creation next to the girl and the clothes were the perfect size for her. The girl quickly dressed into the long white dress that only hung over one shoulder so that she didn‘t stand naked before her creators and waited for a moment.

Thelma leaned closer so that her face was much closer to the girls “Araya” she whispered and the girls heart of purity took that in as her name and remembered it. Thelma leaned back and looked to Wavandra before she nodded silently saying that it was time that Araya was placed into the mortal worlds oceans. Hidden away from all creatures until she awoke.

Wavandra placed her left hand upon the crystal and pictured the ruin that was hidden deep within the ocean of the mortal world where no sirens or mermaids or any other creature dared to venture and slowly that image began to appear in the crystal. With her right hand she gently picked up Araya and moved her into the crystal. Araya’s physical form shuddered as she passed through the crystal and into the mortal world, it was there that Wavandra dropped her into the oceans where she slept and her body continued to grow and change.

Comments

thanks Sarah, i have a little bit of OCD and I don't like commas, i don't know why but when i was younger it was with fullstops and this is the unproof read version, i'll attempt to put more commas and stuff in when i proof read it

Thank you very much

Vickee

Profile picture for user skaterch_21250
Victoria
Birkitt
270 points
Practical publishing
Poetry
Short stories
Fiction
Romance
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Adventure
Speculative Fiction
Gothic and Horror
Victoria Birkitt
31/01/2012

Hi Victoria.

I like the basis of your story, it could become something rather good. However, it left me totally breathless and confused.

There is a distinct lack of punctuation and muddled words. Okay, the latter might be how the narrative is supposed to read, as I don't normally read this type of fantasy fiction. Even so, it could be less confusing.

Never mix narrative with dialogue, it just becomes one big jumble of words, it's fine as a break in speech, but that's all.

The idea behind it reminds me of 'The Little Mermaid', strange I know. Honestly, I do think you have a good idea here, just look over it again and see if you can what I'm saying.

Good luck with your writing,

Sarah :)

Profile picture for user apoet2di_7947
Sarah
Neeve
330 points
Developing your craft
Poetry
Short stories
Fiction
Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
Speculative Fiction
Adventure
Historical
Gothic and Horror
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Sarah Neeve
12/01/2012