Love at First Sight

If you ask me today whether I believe in love at first sight, I will probably throw my head back and laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of the concept. However, there was a time when I believed in love at first sight.

I was waiting for the train home from campus when I met him. Our eyes met as I was about to take a seat on the cold metal benches, so I gave him one of those quick, tight-lipped smiles that say, “I acknowledge that we made eye contact, but it doesn’t mean we should talk.” In my defence, it had been a long, hot day, and I was grumpy and hungry.

As I settled next to him, I recognized the song that was playing through his speakers. It was one of my favourites at the time, Dirty Harry by The Gorillaz. The sound blasting from his earphones was the first thing that truly caught my attention and attracted me to him. None of my friends listened to The Gorillaz, so as you can imagine, I felt like I had found my other half. It was obvious that he and I were meant to be.

Unfortunately, I don’t precisely recall what he turned to me and said, but he and I started talking. By the time the train pulled up at the station, I had turned my full attention on him, laughing and hanging onto every word he said. Later that night, he hit me up on Facebook and we began our romance. I knew he was mine forever from the way he smiled at me. I didn't have to say much because my lover understood me instinctually. I honestly believed that our souls had connected. It was deep.

It was also doomed to fail, only lasting three months. My first problem with him was that he was broke. I know, I know, it was very shallow of me, especially since I too was a student at the time; however, he was, “I can’t afford McDonald’s fries," level of broke. He was broken, financially. I wasn’t asking for much, just a guy who could buy me lunch occasionally. On our first date, he took me to McDonald’s and invited his friend….so the friend could cover the bill! Cringe! Back then, you could get a whole medium meal for under R50. You would not believe the awkwardness of that situation! I sat on that uncomfortable red chair, holding my boo’s hand, but getting to know his friend. Gentlemen, no woman should be put through that. Rather make her a sandwich and take her to the park.

Anyway, I looked past that first incident, brushed it off as him wanting to introduce me to his friend. I mean, that’s what people in love did. They fused their lives together to make one. He was the Dirty to my Harry. We were meant to be. Little did I know that it would only get worse from there.

On our second and third dates, I discovered my boo’s second problem. He didn’t go anywhere without his friends. I know we were already madly in love, but we still needed to get to know each other. The squad of homies was not beneficial to the development of our relationship. In fact, the only time we were alone was when we had sex… the friends would wait outside. My dears, love is not only blind, but it’s also apparently stupid.

The end of us was actually my fault. Broke Boo was officially the third man I slept with and, to put it candidly, I was too busy trying to explore my inner hoe. I was partying so much that not even the love of my life could tie me down. In my travels from club to club, I met men of equal intoxication whom I wanted to bone without any guilt. I'm not a cheater. Never have been. Rather, I break up with my current lover to be with the next. That's exactly what I did. I broke up with the love of my life (rather the love of my three months) to explore the many men the club scene had to offer.

You might think, "maybe it was just infatuation." No. He wasn't exactly what U would call sexy. I mean he was tall and lean, but he was nothing special to look at. He didn't radiate any intense sexual energy that made my lady bits skip a beat. It was his mind and his interest in music that drew me in. However, the love I felt was not enough. Love at first sight alone cannot sustain a relationship. In fact, I believe it demands a little extra work. I think of love at first sight as the Benjamin Button of emotions. You start off on a high note and it fizzles down from there... unless you work extra hard at it, then you just might have a shot at making it last.