[In the 2nd-last verse, “I don't” is hurried into one beat]
Lucy with her wellies on
Is playing in the ditch.
A shame about the wellies 'cause
Her big toe starts to itch.
And how can Lucy scratch her toe
With wellies on her feet?
It's quite a tricky problem, but
It's one she's going to beat.
Lucy with her wellies on
Is quite a clever lass.
She climbs up on the bank, and then
She sits down on the grass.
And, though it's not an easy job,
She pulls her wellies off.
A speck of mud flies in her mouth,
So Lucy has to cough.
“Oh Lucy dear, oh darling Luce,
Oh Lucy my own Love,
Why did you take BOTH wellies off?
What were you thinking of?
But Lucy has an answer there:
She's sharp as any hatchet!
“I don't know which toe has got the itch
Until I start to scratch it.”
The itch is gone, also a scone
That Mummy Maeve has brought her.
Soon Lucy (with her wellies on)
Is back down in the water.
Jimmy, 2nd of June, 2015
Never start a piece with a character name. let the reader want to know who the character is. give the reader something to invest in before giving a laundry list of unimportant details that are irrelevant to the narrative. Especially since the poem has Lucy-tourettes.
I`m also not a fan of stanzas the rhyme all the time on every second line. Poetry should come from the heart. This poem lacks anything heartfelt. Expose an emotion or a nerve.
Because I edited this entry to change the genre classification and add the intro*, it appears twice (2 genres). The POEM is unchanged. Please leave comments on the other "edition".
* My laptop "saved" before I was ready. It keeps playing tricks like this on me, got a mind of its own! (Artificial intelligence, indeed.)
I decided not to delete this entry because it IS a comic poem, and people might look in here who wouldn't under the other heading. But please leave comments at the other site.