The night in
a man goes home after a long day at work and sit's down to watch tv honey where my launch, yes I'm getting it now, now it should've be ready by now I had stuff too do, stuff to do what kind of stuff? clean out the gutters what are you on about who told you to clean out the gutters the old man next door now your probably wondering why my wife would do some old man's gutters well were going to find out mr parison that sneak old son of a, I'm going to have a talk with "Mr parison about his gutters" tick tick tick I opened the gate into mr parison yard I see beautiful hedgerows and well keep grass I wonder who looks after his garden look at all these fine bush's I got to the door and knock mr parison answer what's this about my wife cleaning out your gutters, mr parison answer she was happy to help clean my gutters she has soft subtle hands she did a good job he mutter under his breath that son of a, I hope that was ok mr parison asked that's it I rise my fist on that is not ok she my wife she married to me she my property mr parison so she won't be coming over to do your gutters and more I walked out the open gate and talked to my self sick twisted man using my wife to clean out his nasty gutters no more of this I walk up to the door of my house and went in honey I had a chat with mr parison that lovely old man who lives next door yep so is his some wired-o try to attack him what did you do well I did what any person would, leave him there too defend for him self WHAT?? and old man like him go next door and help him I'm kidding he's fine I had a chat with him about what exactly? That I'm your property am I he ask you to clean his gutters the on the roof what? the roof yes the roof oh honey I thought you thought what that I was having an affair with mr parison why would you think like that you mean everything to me you know I need you maybe I should leave no honey I need you so I got on the floor and started to beg I'm going up stair's to pack my bags but I need you it's only for a few days wait can I get a take yes ok bye see you next week what happen to begging? Oh yeah please don't leave I think your for getting so something Oh yeah my babies kiss but first you most leave have you not left yet come woman what are you waiting for a bit of sunshine nice palm trees and some cocktails an a nice martine on a sandy beach ok I'll leave see you next week she start walk out the door bye honey ok bye I got up to close the door now lets order take out what will I order Chinese, Thai, sushi, creek, Indian, can't decide I know I'll order the whole lot that's it so I don't have to worry about been starved to death by my wife's cooking been so bad all I have to do is phone now where is my phone where is my phone? I know upstairs so I looked everywhere under the duvet under the pillows in the closet still couldn't find it the kitchen where else of course so sink still on luck so I went into the sitting room on the chair between Cush’s was my phone I puase.. there are now let's make them phone calls lets call the Chinese hello I would like to order what do want some spring rolls one every kind some chick balls egg fried rice big portions can I have everything on the menu, you want everything on the menu you crazy man you want everything Chinese person shout to employee in chinese crazy man wants massive order of Chinese food employee are cheer in back round we are rich!! Ok just give us a few minutes how much bye thank you how much? I sure is not that much knock on door Chinese woman and man was hold too big box's how it came to 200 bye enjoy your food so I took the box's inside and open them up wow look at all this food chicken curry, egg fried, chicken balls, spring rolls duck spring roll with cheese, there was so much food mountains of food so I started with the chicken curry I made it through one of the big box's I passed out on the coach a week later I woke up to see my wife at beside me wow that was good food any left yeah one massive box I put it in the kitchen honey yes would you like some Chinese food because you are my wonderful beautiful wife was there on the coach passed out to only find out the next morning my wife screaming and shouting about some of the rooms been destroyed what's a man to do when his wife screams and shouts there's only one thing you can do and that's to buried your head in a pillow because sometime a man going to have to hide on till it all blows over, what happen it left you for a few days and the house gets destroyed ok I'll clean up next week your joke right my wife look at me with disgust alright I'll do it now two hours went passed finally the floor is clean my wife came to check on me you only got the floor clean go upstairs I will clean down stairs so i went upstairs to clean the room which wasn't to hard I had cleaned in around third minutes wow you clean fast well it wasn't that hard lets go down and eat that Chinese food because I'm hungry so as I was helping my wife to set up the table for launch we sat down and I popped the question will you have a kid with me she began to cry yes of course I will, ok because I want too go down to the pet store to get one what? You mean a kid right yes from the pet store I thought you meant child that to if you want one yes ok lets go upstairs. Nine months later, ok baby just breath cry and whingeing it's a boy as the doctor was holding him, a baby boy he has you eyes, he does does he beautiful brown eyes and his mother gorgeous hair your going too be a little hell riser are you baby looks at dad with disgust honey take a picture bang that's when my son decide to punch me we made a bond that day that we will stay out of each other's way, did it work out you maybe think well lets find out. Give me the remote its my time to watch tv your time please!! it's always your time when was the last time you watched tv ahah yesterday yeah so do you not think that its your father turn to watch tv yeah but women soccer is on, why in gods name why would you want to watch woman play soccer Oh oh I get it, get out of here watch woman play soccer why I never hear of boy being interest in womens soccer your going to watch women's mma now this what men should be watching two women fighting it out where theres only one standing let's see who will win Oh damn it I forgot the nacho's so I ran into the kitchen to get the food we'll I was looking out the door got to hurry up I ran in with blows of food in my hands and sat down wife spoke where your son sssshhhhh what did you say to me oh yeah I forgot who I was taking to o-yeah honey I don't know upstairs go find him but I'm watching mma I don't care so there be no mma if you don't find him you should be outside playing catch with your son instead your inside watching mma on the tv which is probably women's mma oh no honey its just the men's mma damnit she knows, honey I'm going to find him now bye I love you as I walked out the door I walked passed mr parison's house mr parison saw me walking past his house and waved I mutter under my breath god I hate that guy, oh hello mr parison how are you fine just enjoying the sunshine as he began to rock in his rocking chair well I'll see you around I began to casually speed walk past his house till I slow down and saw from the corner of my eye my son in the shop with some random teenage so I went into the shop what are you doing since you taking over the tv I went outside to find some friends ok but next time tell us where your going your mother was worry sick about you come on I'll take you home dad can I smoke this what is that is that what I think it is yes it is healt greens give me that your too young to be smoking that I put in my pocket i will put this in the bin when we get home mr parison was still outside I see you found your boy yes mr parison good afternoon mr parison, we got into the house my wife was at the door where was he at the shop with some of his friends what they doing my son looked at me begging me not tell his mother what he was trying to smoke, In my head I knew if I didn't tell her my wife would never forgive me and if I did tell her my son won't trust me again so I didn't say anything but that he made friends i went upstairs quietly to my room and locked the door and taking out the health greens I'm going to paradise now so I lit it up it's better I smoke it then my son wow that good I am so relax
Working in process
copyright Ken Breslin 10th November 2019
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