Noise

"I often think I should have been born a bloke. I’ve frequently been told that I drink like one… and act like one; I’ve occasionally been told I look like one, but only by people whose testicles have had to be surgically reattached afterwards, during the autopsy.

I’m not a bloke, though. I’m a twenty-three year old female Rock fanatic with an impressive back catalogue of crap boyfriends for someone with this much metal in her face.

So it’s probably a good thing that I wasn’t born male: I probably wouldn’t have had half as much sex.

My best friend Jack says that my time would be better spent trying to get a job in a Rock magazine than getting trashed on shots and cocaine and sleeping with losers… Quite the moral high ground, coming from a man who turned his step-father’s reputable seaside hotel into a brothel.

But then, Jack is completely emotionally retarded: this is pretty much a prerequisite for any man that I let into my life; so the fact that Jack is the biggest emotional retard I’ve met (so far) probably explains why we’re best friends… that and our mutual fascination for beer, curry and Heavy Metal.

I don’t know… maybe he’s right: maybe there is more to life than rockin’-out, binge-snorting and waking up naked in a pool of my own vomit… or someone else’s…

Thus begins my voyage of discovery."

http://www.amazon.com/NOISE-Filthy-Loud-Isabella-Brown-ebook/dp/B00H2WC02A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391180408&sr=8-1&keywords=noise+isabella+brown