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by Annie Faux-Pas
30th October 2016

Hey old man

You like to spy

On pretty things.

 

Got to lift off

In your

Space rocket.

 

Hey old man

Watch them glide.

 

What are your thoughts

on...pretty things?

 

Got to sink back

Got to slow down

Got to give in

Got to....

Sleep.

Comments

I'm going to keep you guessing for now. Just because I don't want to spoil it for anyone else.

Space rocket - clumsy? It's a valid point. I hadn't thought about it - you've got me intrigued about steam punk now.

Thanks for the feedback, it's really useful.

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Annie
Faux-Pas
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Annie Faux-Pas
30/10/2016

This is pretty deep I'm thinking VG.

Initially I thought it was a paedo you were referring to, but then I thought I had it wrong. To be honest I'm not certain if there is a hidden meaning or whether the phrasing is just meant to be oblique. Please enlighten me.

I like the final part. We all have to give in at some stage.

One small point - I think space rocket is a little clumsy. Perhaps space-ship or even star-ship. Rocket ships are a bit 1950s now, unless you're into steam-punk of course.

Keep on doing.

Regards,

Pablo.

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Paul
Jauregui
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Paul Jauregui
30/10/2016