Lilith believed, as she wrote on her Pop Culture essay, that there is an invisible line that connects all the artists in the world, through time and space. But sometimes that line is pretty visible. It was tonight, it was incandescent, burning in front of her eyes, burning like Jack Kerouac's fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. That line could also be described as what connects every single human being and it was Art that made it visible.
“Are you having a good time, Lillith?” Muriel approached her.
“An excellent time! Thank you again so much for inviting me. It means the world to me just to be able to stay in the same room as people like... like you.”
“Oh, Lillith. What differentiates talented people sometimes is the sense of opportunity. We are incredibly blessed to be able to live on our Art and do as much as we want. That is why I want to give something back and why I want to get to know the young minds full of amazing ideas, and help them putting those ideas together. That always looked like a meaningful way to live.” Muriel's smile was almost maternal. She looked so young and so wise at the same time. There was a sense of mysticism about her figure, the way she stood, her gentle limpid voice, the way she moved her hands. There was palpable energy around Muriel Francis Ford, the type that charges you and inspires you, but also gives you a strange sense of home and security.
“You are an amazing human being in all aspects, it's an honour to be talking to you, that you asked me to your house... I can't put in words how much I admire your work.”
“Well, try!” Muriel giggled. “I want to hear all your words, Lillith. I want to listen to what you think. I hope I don't scare you with this comment, but when you walked to me in the Foundation, I saw you before sitting in your laptop, and you reminded me so much of my younger self... The way that I sat, the way I wore my hair. And even now, you still do. Do you believe in synchronicity? I do, very much. It's the way the universe tells you that you are on the right track.”
They talked more about Muriel's movies, about Lillith's essay, about Arts and Culture, about women in Arts and Culture, about women, about themselves. Lilith was also wearing her hair up that night and Muriel asked her about the tattoo on the back of her neck. She always forgot she had it. It said Chaos in the shape of a butterfly and she made it during the second year of College, because by then she began to strongly believe in the Theory of Chaos, summarized by Edward Lorenz. She was never into mathematics but she found that one so beautiful. Dorian also had a tattoo on the back of his neck that he kept forgetting he had, since his hair also covered it, the symbols of the delicate clothing labels that tell you to wash it carefully. She remembered some of the poetry she wrote about him and never showed anyone, she dug it up for her script.
There is a shipwreck between your ribs.
You are a box
with fragile written on it,
and so many people have not handled you with care.
She didn't as well. She spent so much time hating Dorian that she ended up forgetting that one day there were good and one day they were innocent.
“Lillith, my biggest heartbreaks, all the pain that men gave me, was what brought me to do my movies, and what brought me to be where I am now. In a way, I am thankful to every single one of them. Maybe I am presumptuous to assume that it was a heartbreak that brought you to New York... Maybe I am presumptuous after all, to see so much of myself in you!” Lillith smiled. The last person that told her something like this was Dante. But it was different, Muriel didn't hold any pernicious intentions towards her. She was incredibly flattered that Muriel Francis Ford dared to compare herself to Lillith in any possible way. And it was true, it was the heartbreak Dante gave her that brought her here. She was thinking about him now and about how she couldn't see goodness or innocence about him at all.
“You are absolutely right, Muriel. It was a heartbreak that brought me here.”
“And look at where you are now, Lillith! Tell me... Do you think you would ever be able to be here, having this conversation with me right now, if you still were with that person?”
Muriel was right. She couldn't. She would be at Dante's flat, cleaning it, taking care of him, feeling worthless and living on his shadow. She recognized that Dante, despite bragging about her brilliance, never ever dared to introduce her properly to anyone in the industry. Never took her on his travelling, never gave her a chance to shine, because perhaps he didn't want her to succeed. She was blind, oh so blind. And now, she was seeing again.
She felt shy at first, but she ended up losing up enough to talk to Muriel about her story. About the real one and about the one she was writing. And Muriel listened to it, without interrupting or for once criticising it, just nodding as a sign for her to go on. And by the end of it, she just said:
“Do you have your script with you?”
“I have it on Dropbox...”
“Come here, then.” Muriel took her hand and they walked to the study. She closed the door, and turned on her laptop with the same kind smile. “If you please...”
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