The Probe

by Steve Clarke
1st July 2014

Foreword from the author

Most people have pondered the possibility of life elsewhere in the Cosmos. I’m no different. These days it is widely accepted amongst the scientific community, given the variables we can be certain of and the sheer scale of the Universe, life is most likely teaming throughout it. A small minority of that life will have evolved to be intelligent and with the possibility some of that intelligent life has managed to evolve for far longer than us, you have a real probability of something discovering you, before you discover it.

When anything intelligent discovers something worth further investigation, it sends a probe to assess it; much like the unmanned probes we send to our planetary neighbours today. This book is the first in a series of science-fiction novels exploring this perfectly feasible reality.

Before our time...

Imagine a planet orbiting around a sun smaller than ours. It is a stable dwarf star that shines dimly but provides enough heat to warm the planet close by. The planet is larger than Earth and is home to a civilisation that has existed for longer than most in the Universe. They have mastered a deep understanding of things we still ponder, yet they remain curious about their surroundings in the Cosmos; always watching, always learning. On this planet, the inhabitants look out into the depths of space and detect another star in a quiet arm of a distant barred spiral galaxy. Around this star like so many others, various planets orbit at different distances, but one smaller inner rocky planet is marked with a very high probability of developing life. After analysis shows the atmosphere contains gasses which strongly indicate life has already taken root, they launch one of two linked probes to travel the immense distance between their world and the small blue planet. The probe, a crystalline orb no bigger than a cannon ball, has such knowledge invested in it, that it makes our very best technology look no better than a child's clockwork toy. The twin probes together act like windows between two places, taking advantage of a known quirk of Universal physics we call quantum entanglement, allowing information (energy) to transfer instantaneously from one probe to another irrespective of the distance between them. The other probe remains on their planet while the space-bound probe heads towards a large grey circular ring in orbit close by. The ring starts to glow brightly from the centre as the probe approaches. Then in the blink of an eye, a magnificent flash of light bursts outwards from the ring and the probe has vanished, sent on its way. The space bound probe tunnels through the Cosmos, commanded by its creators simply by touching its planet bound twin, intelligently avoiding dangers until its inevitable arrival in the distant solar system. It's just a matter of time...

Chapter one

I know it sounds too fantastic to be true; honestly, every time I retell the events it seems more like a fairy tale fantasy. But my words are as true as I sit here today and write them. My name is George Styles and I have communicated with aliens, seen alien worlds, been shown how our Universe works and had my family’s lives hang in the balance over alien technology I had in my possession. And all of this happened before I made adulthood. As a young boy I grew up in the English countryside of Suffolk, with my mother and father, in an old Tudor wooden beamed farm house. This house was in such a remote location and on top of one of the highest hills, the scenery was simply breath-taking by day. But for me and my Grandma "Grammy", it was the spectacular view by night that was the most awe-inspiring. There were no local street lights, and the nearest towns were so far away there was virtually no light pollution, so on a clear moonless night you could see the most spectacular grand vista of stars spread out before you; the Cosmos. All you had to do is look up. I would get excited when my mother and father told me they were going out. Grammy would come and look after me, and she always spoilt me. She used to call a clear star filled sky the most incredible night-time entertainment for free. It was Grammy who fed my youthful imagination from an early age. I was always allowed to stay up and I vividly remember both of us sitting in the garden on a clear, dark summer night, feeling safe in her arms as we whiled away many hours star gazing. We had fun making silly wishes when we saw shooting stars, and she described things to me that made my mind spin. Different types of stars, different planets and moons in our solar system and beyond, black holes, and the possibility of alien life. The grand cosmic spectacle filled me with such a sense of depth and magnitude; I can quite see why our ancient ancestors grew to worship the heavens. Grammy seemed to know everything, and if I had questions she could almost always provide me with a plausible answer. In my young and impressionable mind, I could imagine the different planets and civilisations looking out into their skies and perhaps wondering like I was: who is out there? Where do they live? What do they look like? How would we communicate?

But when I was eleven Grammy fell ill and all too suddenly she passed away. To this day, I miss her with every cell in my body. I remember my mother and father putting on a brave face for me at the funeral, and I remember wondering how I would ever be able to look into the heavens again. My family consoled themselves, and time passed as did the pain of her loss; but never her memory. I was twelve before I studied the stars again. Everything seemed so quiet and empty without Grammy beside me, but on that night I saw a magnificent shower of meteors, and for a moment I felt she was with me, keeping me safe and guiding me. It was enough to fill me with renewed enthusiasm and soon after, I spotted an unusually bright object drifting through space. It was difficult to say how far away it was, but as I watched it didn’t drift past, but to my surprise seemed to slow or turn, and soon after it entered our atmosphere. My excitement grew further when I realised this meteor seemed different to all the others I’d seen. It lasted longer, burned brighter and might impact the ground. In my innocents, I watched wide eyed and dumb-struck, as by some miracle it streaked into a field nearby. On reflection, it was odd it landed where it did and there were no flashes of light, explosions or any sounds. Instead it was an anti-climax to an otherwise awesome display. It occurred to me I probably wasn't the only person to see this incredible event, someone else must have seen it. But listening intently I could hear nothing but the bark of a distant dog. With only a moment contemplation to absorb what I had just witnessed, a sudden resolve overcame me; I was going to recover the space rock. I ran to the shed and grabbed a torch and cloth bag. Using tractor tyre lines in the crop to keep myself going in a rough line, I set off in the general direction. Walking for what seemed like an hour or so, over fields and jumping ditches, my torch eventually lit up a wide crop circle about the diameter of a family car. Crop was laying pointed outward from a central patch of exposed brown clay, and lying on top was a perfectly round spherical ball. To begin with, I was confused about what I had discovered. It certainly didn’t look like anything I was expecting to find. This ball definitely did not fit the classic melted mottled dark metallic stone you normally find, steaming from a fiery hell-like descent to Earth. Instead, this utterly unblemished smooth sphere looked quite cool and semi-translucent. Tentatively, I moved my hand with outstretched fingers towards the ball, trying to sense any residual heat. I felt none and after a short stretch the tips of my fingers came into contact with the surface. This strange spheroid was smooth and glassy to the touch, and so icy cold. A chill quickly spread from my fingers up my arm and through my body and at the same time I was filled with an overpowering sense of being watched. Instinctively I jerk my hand back and crouch down low, looking about like a cornered wild animal. I expected to see official dressed people walking towards me from every angle leaving no route of escape. But I was alone and no one was watching me. The only sound was the rustle of crop swaying in a light breeze all around me. I reassured myself putting my sudden panic attack down to tiredness. I consciously told myself it was late and I should really get home. So without a second thought I clasped the torch between my cheek and shoulder, cupped both hands around the object and stood up lifting the orb into the beam of the torch for closer examination. The orb was surprisingly warm now and light, my eyes became focused intently on the surface which was like crystal with veins of different colours running through it. As I studied, I was unaware night had faded into day all around me and I was no longer stood in a dark field. By the time my eyes registered the significant change to my surroundings, it was too late. Slowly I lowered the orb, still clasped in my hand, to my side. In amazement I looked at my new surroundings. I was stood alone on a flat orange dusty plain which spread out before me interspersed with orange rocks of various sizes. In front of me small whirlwinds danced about the plain sucking up dust as they moved serenely across the landscape. Further towards the horizon, I could make out a magnificent city blurred by the shimmering horizon. Tall structures with pointed cylindrical spires and pyramids so perfectly smooth they seemed to glint in the dim dusky light. Deep red cliffs to my left and right seemed to enclose the plain, like huge hands and a beautiful waterfall of deep turquoise blue liquid cascaded over the edge into pools that fed into babbling streams flowing behind me. Flying creatures spiralled above my head in a sky with a ruddy hue, as pink wispy clouds floated slowly past. The place was so tranquil. I turned slowly on one spot, trying to absorb as much of this impossible place. How could any of this be real? Suddenly, a dark figure caught the corner of my eye and I wheeled quickly to come face to face with Grammy smiling at me. My heart pounding in my chest I managed to utter 'Grammy... is it really you?'. Every detail was exactly as I remembered and she seemed happy to see me, but I knew none of this could be true. My internal conflict rose further when Grammy spoke. 'Doesn't your old Gramdma get a hug?' Her voice seemed so clear, like her words fell directly into my mind. I shuffled slowly toward her open arms, but suspicion got the better of me and I stopped short. Grammy's arms fell to her sides. 'How can any of this be? Is this heaven? Am I dead?' I quizzed now consumed with total confusion. Grammy smiled a reassuring smile, 'No, you're not dead and you can trust me. You're stood in a dark field, and the ball in your hand has connected us. That's how you can see me in this place. I want you to keep the orb safe and come visit me again by simply holding it. I want to show you more, and in this place anything is possible. I'm going to leave you now, you're exhausted and need sleep. Take the orb home with you, and then go to bed!' Grammy smiled again, and as suddenly as she had come to me, the dim light faded back into night all around me, and I was once again stood in a crop circle. I looked down at the crystal ball clasped in my hand with such mixed emotions with Grammy's words ringing in my head. Was any of it real? I asked myself over and over. I collected my thoughts and turned to head home placing the orb in the bag. Walking in a dream with so much swimming about my mind, I didn't even notice the walk back. Before I knew it, I was stood at the side of my bed and wondering where I could stash the crystal ball. I placed it under my bed and would think of a better place to hide it in the morning. Clambering into bed, I almost instantly fell into a deep, restless slumber, with vivid images of that night’s events playing on my mind.

Comments

Hi Steve.

Agree with the previous comments but to state my main suggestions:-

1. Too much 'telling' in the beginning. If it's essential - such as the Grandma relationship - try to work it in a little later I would suggest. Generally, it isn't the done thing for a foreword or introduction, unless you're writing a saga or other multi-book fantasy or similar. Then, you would put a prologue to describe how we got to be at the starting point of this book, and then anyone who has already read volumes 1 through x can skip the prologue. Maybe just try to chop it shorter. I don't think you need to tell people about the mirror-image probes. Show them instead as when the boy walks on the alien world and sees the other machine.

2. There's a moose loose aboot this hoose was in a very big fifties hit record called 'Hoots Mon' and it should stay there really. Scotsmen don't speak like that except for in old films and in some comedies. It detracted from the ability to become absorbed in the story and instead caused me to laugh out loud.

But I really like the concept and the way the aliens get to view our world, exchanges sensual experiences between the two probes as it were.

Keep on doing.

PabloJ.

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Paul
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Paul Jauregui
03/07/2014

Hello Steve, I like it.

Science fiction yet no boring. Obviously you are going to work on this and further editing will takes place, But for now story is good.

My main problem was with the Paragraphs, there were just three. There should be more paragraphs and should be short, it keeps interest. And rest was fine.

good luck .

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Ashwerya T
03/07/2014

Hi Susan.

Once again many thanks for your feedback; it's very helpful and accurate. :)

"The Probe" is very much a work in progress at the moment (early days). I've updated the version on here, though I confess I have yet to tackle the areas you mention in your feedback. However, I agree with you, it needs some work.

The background is kind of relevant, since Grammy is my "contact", even though she is not real in any sense of the word later in the book. However, the parts about the area where the main character (and the man telling the story) grew up, is simply to introduce Grammy (pet for Grandma) into the book, and to add some emotional attachment. I could make this a little less verbose I guess.

(I have incredible ideas for books, but I think I do struggle with the "telling" as a very inexperienced unpublished writer. Perhaps a course in creative writing would benefit?)

Kind regards

Steve

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24/06/2014