Rob's Innate Problem

by Leo Risley
14th February 2015

No shapes or colours in the end.

First dad, then mum and now the son,

unscrewed the cap, life turned to crap,

their down and fall had soon begun.

To Rob a life by drip and drop,

life’s water lost, a bottle found.

Chin up, gin down and down he fell,

his head a-swim, began to drown.

I wrote a list of tales and joy,

a best man’s speech to give one day.

The words I spoke and tears I choked,

he never heard them anyway.

No script, no book, no film, no fame,

his zest, his joy, that clever head.

Like him all wasted, squandered, lost,

pissed down the drain now he is dead.

Comments

Yes. Not an apt poem for the date.

Still unsure on capitalisation, but not for grammar, just for interpretation: The fifth line is meant two ways, one meaning with a capital R, as shown, and the other with a lower case r. Read aloud, it wouldn't matter so much.

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Leo
Risley
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Leo Risley
14/02/2015

Yep, very good! Reminiscent of how I feel on a Monday. Fortunately today's Saturday and I'm in love!

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David
J. Ashton
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David J. Ashton
14/02/2015

I was told that Mum & Dad always had capitals if they could be replaced in the sentence by a name. Eg 'When Mum came' could be written 'When Ann came', but not in the case of 'When my mum came', because it couldn't be written as 'When my Ann came'

So, if that's the case your original capitals for Mum & Dad would have been correct? I could do with some clarification on this?

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susan
Russell
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susan Russell
14/02/2015