Roses to Remember

This is the prologue and part of hte first chapter to a story I have been working on for a couple of years now. It is a romance thriller story. Any feedback is welcome as at the moment I am the only person who has read it.

PROLOGUE

She lay still, trying to fight the blackness that surrounded her. She couldn’t quite remember what had happened and the more she tried to remember the further away it got. Images flashed through her mind but they made no sense, it was like seeing a movie in short 2 second bursts but she was missing the plot line. She remembered leaving the flat; and the look on his face as she gave him the news, the panic and anger; his eyes had burned with it. The things he had said, the names he had called her. She couldn’t understand why he had reacted like that. Her heart ached and her chest felt crushed with his rejection. He had told her he loved her and wanted a future with her but once she had told him her news, news she had thought he would be happy about, all that had changed. She could feel the tears of heartbreak sliding down her cheeks and a soft hand wiping them away. She tried to open her eyes but they felt glued shut. She tried again and this time they opened a little, a tiny sliver of light piercing the blackness.

She turned her face towards the hand wiping away her tears, forcing her eyes to open even further, hoping to find that it was his hand she felt and the small snippets she had remembered had been a horrible dream, but instead her surroundings confused her. Why wasn’t she lying in bed beside him? Where was he? Where was she? Why were her best friends here looking so worried and afraid? She tried to speak but her throat felt closed off and dry. She panicked not being able to speak, her eyes became wide and she began to struggle. One of the men at her side called for help, the other tried to get her to calm down, telling her that she was in hospital and that she was intubated but she was safe and no one was going to hurt her.

Her mind raced even more, why was she in hospital? What had happened to her? What did they mean that she was safe now?

A new face appeared, an older woman she didn’t recognise. This woman was telling her to calm down so they could remove the tube, she was told the more she thrashed around the longer and more uncomfortable it would be. The stern woman, a nurse apparently, spoke to her like she was a small child who needed reprimanding, her admonishing tone was kind but firm as she told her patient that if she wasn’t careful she would split her stiches. She froze at hearing she had stiches, why did she have stiches? She tried to remain calm as they removed the tape holding the tube in place but her heart raced, she felt so scared and confused, not understanding what was going on. The nurse told her that removing the tube would be uncomfortable but now she was calm it would be over quickly. She coughed and spluttered as the tube was removed; dragging in deep lungful’s of air as soon as the tube was fully removed.

The nurse gave her a cup of water and told her to sip it and that her throat would be sore for a while. She was told to rest it as much as possible and that the two men would have to leave shortly. Taking a couple of sips of water she tried again to find her voice. What came out was barely more than a hoarse whisper,

“What happened? Why am I here?” She croaked roughly.

“Honey, you were attacked on your way home, you’re in St Chris’, you’ve been here for 2 days”

She looked at the two men not really comprehending what they were saying. She tried to remember more of what happened after she left the flat but she couldn’t, but she suddenly remembered what had happened before she left and his reaction to the news she was carrying their baby.

“Oh God the baby” she thought not wanting to ask the question, fearing the answer, but she had to know.

“The baby?” she asked quietly the fear apparent even through the hoarseness of her voice.

“I am so sorry Sweetheart………..”

She didn’t hear the rest of what was said. Everything around her seemed to disappear into a fuzzy haze. She didn’t want to believe it; it couldn’t be true; it had to be some horrible joke. She could deal with him turning his back on her; eventually she would be okay, but not losing the baby as well, not that. A hysterical sob bubbled up from her chest, the tears flowing down her face unchecked as she shook her head unable to accept what she was being told. She felt herself being pulled into the arms of her best friend, holding her together as she sobbed and cried out her grief. She didn’t hear the nurse re-enter the room, or feel the injection she administered, all she felt was the crushing weight of her heartache. Slowly the darkness began to take over again, drowning her in the warmth of oblivion and she welcomed it with open arms.

Chapter 1: 5 years later...

“Why did I ever agree to this?” Persephone thought as she headed away from her hotel and along the high road. She walked at her usual strident pace, her head up but her eyes cast down, counting each step up to 15 and starting again, over and over trying desperately to keep her anxiety in check. Most people felt nostalgic or wistful about their home town, remembering good times and old friends, but Seph was terrified and just wanted to leave as soon as she possibly could. She hated this place and the people that lived here. In her mind the best thing she ever did was leave and never look back. The place embodied all the things about her past that she had tried so hard to forget. The fact that she was here at all didn’t sit well with her. She’d had a knot in her stomach the size of the Titanic since she stepped off the train, worried that she would run into people that she didn’t want to see or that someone would remember who she used to be and dredge up bad memories that should remain buried deep in the past.

The weather suited her mood perfectly, grey, miserable and drizzly. The sky was the colour of lead and the clouds hung so low it looked like they were touching the tops of the buildings. Seph looked at the familiar buildings and streets and realised she felt absolutely nothing about the place she had grown up in other than resentment at being here. Taking a deep breath she reminded herself that the past was well and truly dead and buried, that the person that left here at the age of 18 no longer existed. However the awkwardness that she had always felt here still persisted. She just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched and judged. It was like the city knew how much she didn’t want to be here and begrudged her presence here just as much. The fact that she wasn’t here by choice just added to her discomfort but her job meant that she had to go where they sent her. The consultancy position she currently held had come at just the right time in her life. It kept her in the profession she loved but it gave her the flexibility and anonymity she craved. It allowed her to hide away in plain sight and keep out of the sights of the people she feared and hated.

After horror of what had happened 5 years ago, the only way Seph felt that she could get some semblance of a life back was to leave her entire life behind her and start fresh with a new identity and a completely new life. In fact the only part of her past she had kept with her were her best friends who started a new life alongside her including moving to a new city and helping her keep her life totally private. The consultancy kept her on the move more often than not but she had a small place to call her own, or at least she would when the renovations were done. Till then she had a small studio flat that she had been renting under her best friends name. She didn’t have anything that could be attached or traced back to her linked to the property; she even had her post delivered to a PO Box. She may be a little paranoid but it had been the only way that she felt safe and now it had just become part of her life.

When she first started with the consultancy company she was only going to work part time and study for her Master’s Degree; however the degree went on the back burner when both she and the company realised that she was very good at her job and the requests just kept coming in for her to speak and help. Seph really hated to turn down these requests and she had a reputation of being reliable and extremely good so she now worked full time and used the weekends and holidays to work on her thesis.

However when this particular school came up as wanting her to speak, she had tried to get out of it. She really didn’t want to face any of the demons or nightmares that this place held. She had recommended other consultants, tried to book a holiday at the last minute, she had even contemplated phoning in sick, but her company had insisted explaining that the school had asked for her specifically and her best friends had convinced her that this would be cathartic for her.

“What a load of crap!!” she thought remembering that particular conversation, realising she had only agreed after they had demolished 3 bottles of wine between them.

Having finally reached the school gates, she looked up at the familiar buildings, memories flooding her. She had hated every minute of the 4 years she had spent in this place and now she was heading back in voluntarily, something she swore she would never do. Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders she headed towards the steel and glass building that had not changed in the past 15 years. All she wanted to do was turn around and walk away but she knew she couldn’t. She reminded herself that she was a professional and in control and had to remain so especially if she didn’t want to slip up and have people realise who she used to be. She was not that person anymore. That person was dead, but she still didn’t want anyone to make any connections or assumptions. She was there to do a job which she would do to the best of her ability and then leave. She did not need a trip down memory lane, her past was gone and that is how she wanted it to stay.

Luckily the day passed without any drama, just the usual meetings with the school leadership discussing what their expectations were, what they wanted to achieve and what they needed. There were the usual arguments regarding money, staffing and the timetable but this was nothing new and nothing she wouldn’t face in the next 100 schools she went to. Best of all no one seemed to make any connections to her past despite running into people that would have known her 15 years ago. By the end of the day Seph was exhausted and couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel and chill out in the spa for a while. Her neck, shoulders and back were so tight with all the tension she was carrying that she felt like she was about to snap.

“A nice deep tissue massage and an hour or so in the steam and sauna should help” she thought as she shook hands and said her goodbyes. Stepping out of the school gates she looked up and allowed relief to wash over her thankful the day was over and there were only two more remaining before she could leave.

By the time Seph left the spa later that evening, having treated herself to an aromatherapy rub as well as the massage, she felt relatively human again and her anxiety levels had dropped back to functional levels. Rationally she knew there was no way anyone could know who she was or who she used to be. Only her best friends and company knew where she was staying and which name she had registered under. Although she had heard a rumour that He-who-should-never-be-named was now living in the area, she constantly reminded herself in the unlikely event that the rumour was true the likelihood of him finding her was tiny, especially as she had no intention of leaving the hotel other than to go to the school.

It was a little after 6pm by the time Seph got back to her room; she dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans, green silk shirt and heeled ankle boots before heading down to the hotel bar for her dinner. She kept telling herself that she was a strong independent confident woman and that she should act like one, tonight that meant dinner in the bar rather than room service.

As she hit the lobby she had the feeling that she was being watched again, only this time it felt more like an appraisal than the judgement she had felt that morning. She dismissed it though as it was not unheard of for her to be watched in the hotels she stayed in, seeing as she was clearly on her own. Shaking her head she settled herself on a bar stool, ordered a large glass of red wine and started looking though the menu ignoring the unsettling feeling. After a few minutes she felt someone move up behind her. She could tell whoever it was, was staring at her. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to make her feel uncomfortable on purpose or just trying to pluck up the courage to speak to her.

Seph sighed inwardly and got ready to turn down whatever proposition was about to come her way. This situation occurred more often then she liked. That’s not to say that she was a supermodel or anything but she could hold her own. At 5ft 8 she had a full figure which filled her size 10 clothes well, she wouldn’t be considered ugly, but it was the long mahogany hair that shimmered red in the sunlight and her sharp blue eyes that made her look more exotic. Regardless of this most of the time the deciding factor seemed to be that she was clearly on her own.

“Hi” the voice behind her finally said snapping her out of her internal monologue in which she was telling herself to be calm and forceful but not impolite when she refused whatever advance this person made. All that went out the window with that voice, that one tiny monosyllabic word. It was a voice that she had not heard in over 5 years and had hoped and prayed she would not have to hear again at least not until she was ready anyway. The man that that voice belonged to had set her on a path that had almost destroyed her both figuratively and literally. Taking a calming breath she picked up her glass of wine, stood and turned to face him. She intended to simply walk away from him without a word but the moment she looked up into the green eyes that had once made her melt and saw what appeared to be arrogant amusement in them she became both irritated and scared. Seph reacted without really thinking and poured the entire glass of wine over his head. After placing the wine glass on the bar she stepped around him and walked away with her head held high. She could hear the chuckles of the other patrons in the bar, a few asking him what he had said to deserve that reaction and the barmaid offering him a towel and her apologies.

She hoped that as she walked away that she looked the picture of utter confidence. She kept in mind the image she projected whenever she was in a new school. Internally she may be dying but she would not let anyone see that, especially not him. She kept her pace in check, didn’t slouch or strut just tried to walk casually to the bank of lifts. Her head was screaming at her to run out the front doors of the hotel and not to stop running till the entire city was far far behind her, but her pride prevented her from actually doing it.

Reaching the lifts Seph hit the button repeatedly and impatiently wishing that it would hurry up and get there, her head was spinning with so many questions, the biggest question being how had he found her and if he could, could the other person she was hiding from as well? The lift seemed to be taking forever, all that she wanted was to get to her room before she completely lost her cool or he decided to chase after her. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes. Tears of anger, pain and heartache but she would not let them fall, not until she was alone. Her chest felt like it was in a vice and all the hurt and pain of the past was there crushing her and just as fresh. She could no longer keep her hands at her sides and crossed them over her chest in such a way that it looked like she was trying to keep herself together which in a way she was.

“Time heals all! What utter bull!” she thought, wishing that the lift was here already and that she was over him, hating the fact that he still managed to get a reaction out of her with just a single word. All she wanted to do was get back to her room, pack her bag and leave with as little drama as possible. Sod the School, the company and her pride; she could not stay here any longer.