The Secret Enquirer

The envelope was a deep red. Speckles of glitter shimmered as I turned it over in my hands and gazed at my name neatly printed on the front. Today was 14th February; it wasn’t my birthday.

My heart did a double beat. I cast a fleeting glance around the office; all heads were focused on monitors and fingers tapped away at keyboards. I laid the envelope upon my lap, peeled back the flap and pulled out the card. A big red heart filled the centre and the phrase ‘Be my Valentine’ highlighted the top. Taking a deep breath and another quick scan about the room, I opened it to reveal the signature: ‘From an admirer’.

I suddenly felt overwhelmed, wanting to giggle and run around flagging it in the air like a trophy, shouting, “Look what I have got!” I also wanted to slink underneath my desk with embarrassment. There were 5 members of staff in the office and the sender was amongst them.

From behind me, Paul cleared his throat. I took a sharp, inward breath. Was he signalling me? Paul was in his 50’s, which made him at least 30 years my senior; I wholeheartedly hoped it wasn’t from him. I braced myself, and with a painted smile, slowly swivelled around. His head was down; his shiny, bald parting peered back at me. I returned to my desk, exhaled what seemed to be a bottomless breath and nestled the card underneath my keyboard.

Once my heartbeat had steadied, I glanced to my right, at Mick. He was in his early 30’s, and handsome enough in a rugged sort of way: short whiskers, messy-styled hair and a small stud in his ear. He often wore dark shirts with the top button undone, exposing a tuft of chest hair. I would have been almost willing for him to be the sender, that is, if it wasn’t for his addiction.

Upon his desk rested a glass jar, brimming with lollipops; it contained every colour of the rainbow. He was never without a little, white stick poking from his lips, shifting about as he munched away; it had become something of a facial feature. I prayed that he wasn’t the culprit.

There was Tracey, married, and pregnant to the stage where it looked like she was about to pop. There was no need to ponder about her was there?

The last suspect was Simon, who sat at the back of the office. He was in his early 20’s; clean-shaven with gelled spiky hair. He’d joined the office only 6 months ago and was already looking at a promotion.

I recalled blushing the first time I said hello, and how I tried to mask it by blaming the thickness of my cotton blouse. He must have realised, but he smiled pleasantly just the same. From that day forward, I’d made it a mission to avoid him, especially since he’d caught me staring at him from across the office, on more than one occasion. My mind absolutely refused to even entertain the idea that it might be him.

Thousands of thoughts danced in my head and worries overshadowed me. I needed to unload the burden. I needed a friend to talk to, and I was thankful to have one sat directly opposite, her desk facing mine.

“Psst…”

Rose looked up; her glowingly blonde curls bouncing slightly. “Yep?”

From its hiding place, I exposed a corner of the envelope. Her eyes bulged in their sockets as she mouthed the words, “V-a-l-e-n-t-i-n-e-‘s C-a-r-d?” and I nodded. She stood abruptly, tucked her blouse into her skirt and hoisted me out of my chair. “Tea point now!”

* * *

Rose secured the door and rushed to my side, her heels clapping on the tiles. “This is so exciting! I wonder who sent it. I hope it’s not Paul; he’s always given me the creeps. The older they get, the younger they want them. Mark my words.”

I smiled. “I don’t think…”

“OH MY!” She laid a hand on my shoulder. “I hope for your sake it’s not Sticky Mick! Imagine that, going for a posh nosh with him munching on a lollipop. He’d probably suck the wine through it once he’d finished nibbling the top.”

My stomach grew tight from laughter and I wiped tears from my eyes. “If it is from Paul or Mick then I’d rather just forget about it.”

“Forget about it? But this is HUGE!” Spittle spurted from between the small gap in her front teeth and a few bubbles danced on her bottom lip. Her smile was bright and infectious. “You can’t mean to tell me that you’re not the least bit curious? Anyway, do you want to know who I really think sent it?” She folded her arms and her crystal blue eyes stared into mine.

“OK, enlighten me.”

She shuffled along the worktop and leaned in, “I think it was Simon. I have this really strong feeling, don’t ask me why, but I do.”

I shook my head, finding the thought hard to digest. “Mmm…I don’t think so.”

“The guilty always slip up eventually. We’ll have to keep our eyes peeled and our ears open. Hang on, I mean that the other way round.” She laughed at herself.

“Rose, I mean this in the nicest possible way…please don’t do, or say, anything embarrassing.”

She opened her mouth wide and pressed a hand on her chest. “Moi?” then followed it with a snigger. “Never!”

* * *

Lunchtime was almost here and my in-tray was overflowing; my mind just couldn’t concentrate. I would have to work twice as hard in the afternoon. I’d almost finished doodling around the logo on a sheet of headed paper, when a yellow post-it pad suddenly skidded across my desk and bounced off my arm. The note read, “I’ll find out – tactfully.”

My heart jumped in my throat. I was about to fling the word “No!” after her, but it was too late, she was already up and marching towards Simon’s desk. I felt like my lungs had collapsed, breaths came short and sharp. I preyed for a faint to overcome me or for the fire alarm to sound. I couldn’t believe what Rose was doing. I was completely and utterly a sitting duck.

I nibbled chunks out of my thumbnail as I forced myself to watch the horror unfold. Rose delicately perched herself on the edge of his desk, her back and big hair completely blocking my view. Terrific! I thought. It was only a moment before she threw her head back with laughter. I grabbed a pen and began clicking the end incessantly.

She returned a few minutes later, a smile spread from ear to ear. I wiped my clammy hands on my skirt.

“Well?” I probed.

Her eyes burst into flames,” He sent it!”

My body tingled as the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I swallowed hard. “He did?...What did he say?” I could hear the quiver in my voice.

Rose flexed her fingers and studied her cuticles, her lips pouting slightly. “I asked him and he said yes.”

“Just like that?”

“Yep. Well…not exactly, but all you need to know my lovely is that you’ve found your admirer.”

I should have felt more pleased, but having it handed to me in my lap numbed the excitement somewhat; I had wanted to win my own victory, in my own way. Though, if I was completely honest, I’d have probably been sat here this time next year, just as clueless. Regardless of how it happened, I’d just been told that an attractive guy was interested in me - my spirits lifted.

“Now my dear, strike while the irons hot. Go over there and ask him out.”

“You think I should?”

“Yep. You know he’s interested, it’s in the bag. Now go real him in.”

Her enthusiasm was inspiring. “Yeah, I can do this.”

Rose reached across the desk and clasped a hand over mine. “I know you can do this. This is your chance. Don’t think about it, just act. Go, go, go!”

I got to my feet and tugged at the flaps of my blouse. I took one wobbly step at a time. The centre isle seemed to narrow the further I progressed and when I had passed midpoint, I found it difficult to steady my breathing. I glanced back to find Rose smiling encouragingly, it was only a few steps more before Simon looked up. It was too late to turn back now.

“Hi.” I offered, leaning awkwardly against his desk. I detected a subtle trace of aftershave in the air and filled my lungs.

He smiled warmly, “Hi. What can I do for you?”

My eyes focused on the bright flecks of green in his eyes. “Um…I wondered if you’d…sometime…fancied going with me for a…um…um…”

“A drink? Yeah, that would be nice.”

A few moments passed before my mind registered his response, and for the second time that day, I wanted to run around the office giggling and shouting. I breathed deeply and offered what I hoped was a casual, “Great.”

His eyes sparkled, “I’ll look forward to it.”

I struggled for a word, “Great.”

My mind acknowledged that the deed was done and that I should return to my desk feeling fully satisfied. My legs wouldn’t respond. Before I knew it, I spoke again, “Thanks for the card by the way.”

His forehead creased. “What card?”

The question slapped me in the face. “Oh…nothing. My mistake.”

I all but fled.

I thrust my behind in my chair. “Strange that,” I began, “When I thanked him for the card, he didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.” I tapped my fingers on the desk and glowered at Rose.

“No, he wouldn’t.” She said whilst studying her nails; her eyes eventually settled on mine. “He didn’t send it…I did.”

“You what?!” I was aware that a few heads turned in our direction.

Rose leaned forward and quietly replied, “How else was I going to get you to ask him out? It took a lot of courage to go over there. I knew you could do it. All you needed was a nudge in the right direction.”

I continued to glare at her, unimpressed. She tilted her head to one side and fluttered her blonde eyelashes. When that failed, she resorted to pushing up her nose and making pig noises. It wasn’t long before my willpower crumbled and I laughed. She was my best friend after all.

“Rose, I can’t leave you alone for 5 minutes without you getting me into trouble. What if he had said no?”

“No chance of that!”

“Tea point?” I asked.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

She took my arm and we walked away, giggling.