Just thought I'd share with you a couple of vignettes from my non-fiction book based on my work in a Local Authority.
I have much more to share, so please do let me know what you think!
Visits...
The rules:
As part of our services to the residents of (insert Council name) we visit people’s homes to help them complete our claim forms, to save them having to post bank statements and other personal paperwork to us, but mainly to limit the amount of fraudulent claims. I love visiting. You never know what you are going to walk into.
There are several (unspoken) rules about visiting.
1. NEVER wear a skirt. Or a low cut top. Or even a long top with leggings.
2. ALWAYS wear easy to slip on and off shoes. And socks that are thick, preferably with no holes.
3. If it is a warm sunny day, wear layers. Especially if you are visiting sheltered housing. The heating always seems to be on full blast for the older residents.
4. Take hand sanitiser.
5. Never accept a drink.
6. Never use their loo (unless you need to be nosy).
7. Don’t take your handbag with you. Just something else to worry about if you need to get out of somewhere quickly.
8. Park your car facing the direction you need to be leaving in. Nothing worse then trying to get out quickly and having to do a 17 point turn in somebody’s driveway.
9. Don’t accidentally hit the SOS button on the alarm that you have around your neck*, so that the alarm company can hear you singing along to Meatloaf’s I Would Do Anything for Love (but I won’t do that).
*The alarm system we use is called Gem-shield, a lone worker protection system. The office can track me using GPS, and if I need help I push the SOS button and say certain code words depending on the severity of the situation. On one occasion I was in my car, alone, singing to the radio, when I heard a man’s voice, saying my name over and over:
“Beth, Beth, Can you hear me?”
At this point I turned my radio down, eyes flicking to the rear mirror, terrified that I was about to star in my very own horror movie and a man with dead eyes were going to be looking back at me. The back seat was empty. I was just glad there was no camera on the Gem-shield.
Mrs Penelope...
Sheltered Houses are interesting. I find them lovely but weird all at the same time. They are designed for the elderly so they can have the support and care they need, as well as their independence. I’m not sure who designs these places, but the majority of the ones we visit are circular, with the flats on the inside and outside of the circle, and communal areas in the middle.
I once had to visit a lady called Mrs Penelope, whose daughter had informed me she was living in flat 17. Off I toddled, round and round until I eventually found flat 17. The flats are usually unlocked in these places, often with the doors wedged open so that carers can come and go. I knocked on the door of Mrs Penelope’s flat, and called out to her:
“Mrs Penelope? It’s Beth from (insert Council name). Do you mind if I come in?”
“In here dear, come through,” came a weak voice from somewhere inside the flat.
I wheeled my visiting bag through, already regretting wearing my turtle neck jumper and winter boots. She was sat, smiling at me, from a chair that had all sorts of super duper controls on it. She was wearing a light blue dress with tights that were sagging, struggling to hold onto her ankles. A hanky was in her hand.
“Come in dear, take a seat.” She waved her hanky at the only other chair in the flat, one that had several worn out spots on the arms, and what looked like a doily on the back of it. I perched on the edge and started unpacking my laptop.
“So, Mrs Penelope, do you have the form I sent you?”
“Form dear? What form?” Her eyebrows furrowed a little, the hanky getting twisted between her gnarled fingers.
“I sent you a form, your daughter said she had helped you complete it?” I looked around the room, hoping to spot it.
“Form? I thought that you were here to take my blood.”
It turned out that Mrs Penelope’s daughter had been a bit confused. Mrs Penelope was eventually found in flat 19.
This looks like it could be interesting. DID you ever have to make a quick getaway?
Are you Emma or Beth? (Or both?) Are you planning to publish anonymously to avoid legal trouble? In that case, I'd suggest that you change your user name on here ASAP!
I like it. The only advice I would give you (aside from being careful about your singing repertoire [so far - I Would Do Anything for Love (but I won’t do that) - you're doing well. But there are places that you DON'T want t go (as far as your security-system workers are concerned: I'm not worried about your clients)]) is to be more careful with your grammar. Study the value of the hyphen: What do you mean by "a lone worker protection system", for instance? Obviously "a lone-worker protection system" and not "a lone worker-protection system". But there will be times when your meaning isn't as obvious to your reader.
"easy to slip on and off shoes" easy-to-slip-on-and-off shoes. (You see, I'm a fanatic.) Perhaps better: "shoes that are easy to slip on and off".
"super duper controls" super-duper controls
Let me give you an example to show exactly what I mean: "freeze dried pineapple". Now, am I instructing you to freeze some dried pineapple, or am I talking about freeze-dried pineapple? "Of course," you may well+ answer, "I'd understand it from the context." Perhaps so, but that isn't ALWAYS possible. Better to be clear at all times (unless you WANT to lead your reader astray [who-dunnits, etc.])
"turtle neck jumper" turtleneck jumper, I believe. A string of 3 nouns becomes an adjective (turtleneck) and the noun that it describes. Just because reputable firms - such as M&S - call them "turtle neck jumpers" doesn't mean that you as a writer should join the general slide into sloppy, ambiguous English.
"a man with dead eyes were going to be looking back at me"
"a man with dead eyes was going to be looking back at me" or
"a man whose dead eyes were going to be looking back at me". Take your pick.