“Clean yourself up, boy.” A short hooded man mumbled as his dark robe dragged along the dirty floor. His face was completely hidden as he passed a young man crouched by a window sill of a dusty, dingy room. The young man barely acknowledged the hooded man entering the room. His body remained frigid; his clothes covered in mud and dried blood.
The hooded man spoke again. “We’ve got to get moving.” His long olive, skeletal fingers reached for an empty tattered bag from a nearby table. He then hurriedly stacked piles of ragged books inside it. “We have another job to do for some nagging woman named Natra.” He paused a moment as he carefully examined the title of one of the books just before he discarded it. “This job will pay good…really good.”
The young man remained silent; his face covered by his unruly dark burgundy hair; his bloodied fists clenched at his sides.
“We have to go to some town I’ve never heard of, get the job done… I’m led to believe its some politician…” The hooded man continued as he crossed the room packing more books into his bag. “…we get the job done and come back.”
The young man slowly lowered his head, as he desperately drew in a deep breath. He couldn’t do it again, he thought to himself. This was too much. His last job left him battered, bruised and stained with another man’s blood. He couldn’t… no more.
The young man’s body shivered. “No more…” He whispered, his voice pleading mercy, “no…more…”
The hooded man stopped in his tracks and turned to face the young man. “You are not backing out on this, you hear me! You’re gonna do this…just like the last time.” He threatened in a lowered voice.
A moment of silence hovered in the air.
The hooded man resumed his duties as he continued talking. “You will do what you’ve always done and that’s that.”
The young man raised his head as he searched the window mountain view for answers. He shifted his hair away from his face allowing tiny glitters of the sun’s rays into his tired dark eyes. He wondered briefly how it felt to walk freely along those mountain tops. No one following him. No one hurting him. Somewhere far, far away from everything. Somewhere… not here…
“YUKI!” The hooded man shouted. “Get yourself cleaned up! We got a job to do!”
The young man unenthusiastically got to his feet but his attention was still directed towards the window. Yes, anywhere…anywhere but here… He thought.
Thanks for your input. Yes, this was more like a prologue but I can add more detail like you mentioned. Thx!
Its quite good, but if its the starting, personally i feel, how do i say this- its got make more of an impact. A starting needs to have a certain impact on the reader, so he will read more, a strong impact sort of draws the reader into the story. You could sort of make Yuki's emotion, fell stronger. And more detail won't hurt the story.
Hope it helps