The reason I have put 'other' is because it is a mix between Horror/fantasy/Thriller and Historical Fiction
This is Chapter 5 of the 2nd book in the series:
Aurelius Nox was always the type to figure out riddles and decipher different problems. It was time to find Francis and only Aurelius had a small clue of where he may be. He wasn’t in Heaven and that was it. He wasn’t in Hell either. There was only one place left. Earth. Francis was on Earth? There was nothing on Earth and there still isn’t. Aurelius sensed something wrong. It was like bad air. Something about Francis wasn’t quite right. Francis was hiding something and Aurelius was ready to find out what that something was.
Aurelius took off across the plains. Earth was split into 4 quarters. Aurelius made his way across the first quarter. He scanned the area and searched the sand. It was hot. Hot like Hell. There was something not quite right though. There was no water. No fountains, nothing. Aurelius had no horse. He had left it in Heaven so that he could collect it later. He trampled across the desert without any water. Slowly dehydrating.
He had walked toward some shade underneath a large collection of trees, much like a small forest. It was dark. The light was shaded out by the trees and all he could see was a small glimmer of light floating through the gaps in between the leaves. The small fireflies that lay on trees stilled to the motion of his steps and hid amongst the leaves and in between the branches as the light poked through revealing their secret hiding places.
In passion and in prejudice, Aurelius was sure that he knew exactly where Francis was, and what he was.
He sliced his hands through the large leaves and darkness started to engulf the entire area. There was no longer a sight of the sky through the leaves. Just dark. Aurelius sat on the floor for more than a moment as he thought to himself about where Francis was. Aurelius suddenly felt a gust of wind, much like someone passing by on a windy day. The leaves rustled, though there was nothing to rustle them. This wind was strong so it blew the trees that were fragile. He knew that this shadow he witnessed was just make-up for some heavy monster lurking in the darkness. Aurelius did not give himself these horrors, but heard something else. A slicing. Much like a sword. Earth was desolate and he knew it. This sword was no living human being. Who could it be? Aurelius scared himself for a moment and asked himself if it really was Francis. Aurelius pondered through the darkness of the trees towards this creature. The light shone again across the trees, but no sight of this thing he wanted to believe was Francis.
In forcefulness, Aurelius leapt forward shouting, ‘Who’s there?’
There was no answer. Just silence. But the rustling did not yet cease.
‘Show yourself!’ He cried.
Still no answer. This time, the trees stopped rustling and the whole area was just how it was when Aurelius first entered. The fireflies were undisturbed and still secretly hiding from Aurelius and his slicing hands in fear of something more than just getting killed. Aurelius walked up to the tree on which there were the most fireflies and looked at the for moments on end. He thought to himself, ‘I don’t think these fireflies are hiding from only me.’ He picked one up and put it in between of where he had heard the leaves rustling, the firefly hovered and left the area. Not even coming back to the safety tree. Flying into the hot desert sky it elevated until it was out of sight. ‘Strange’ Aurelius said to himself but all he could hear was the buzzing of the fireflies demanding more protection from whatever Aurelius was persuading himself to be scared of.
The rustling came back. This time it was a lot more widespread and far louder than the previous one. This one made Aurelius jump and the fireflies evacuate the tree. They swarmed up into the air and as Aurelius backed away from the tree, they all landed again. This time, on a different tree. Aurelius backed off the tree and saw the fireflies, sitting quietly. Not a flutter. Not a sound. Not one wing out of place. All quiet and still. It was like nothing had happened at all. It was like not one thing in the world could bother them.
The rustling came back once again. But this time, the fireflies didn’t move. Something was there in the darkness. Something was there in the heat. Aurelius paced towards it. He went forth until he was just close enough to move a large leaf. This time, the fireflies began to form a line. This line spanned half of the forrest. This line went in the opposite direction to which Aurelius was walking. What were they afraid of? What were they fearing in the darkness?
Aurelius picked at the leaf with his knife. Trying to move the greenery out of his way, he jolted back when he saw the unfamiliar sight. ‘What are you?’ Aurelius asked. They did not reply. They were short and threatening creatures that roamed this forest in search of food and water. The fireflies perched still while Aurelius tried to communicate with the unfamiliars.
‘Where do you come from?’ There was no reply.
‘How did you get here?’ There was no verbal reply. But Aurelius knew that they could understand what he was saying. One of them pointed to the fireflies.
‘You got here because the fireflies led you?’ The same creature nodded.
Aurelius thought to himself for a moment. These ape-like creatures were sent here by fireflies? Maybe if he followed them, they could lead him to Francis.
The creatures carried on their usual ways about rustling and trying to create fire. The fireflies evacuated the area and set off to find new land.
Aurelius stood there for a moment in thought. He pondered, ‘If I could use these fireflies to find Francis, I could also use these fireflies to find out how Robert knows him. They must be remarkable creatures.’ He paced forward in order to see the sky fill up with small fluttering flies that glowed, even in the sunlight. There was something else about these fireflies that Aurelius couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something sinister. Something that made him question their reality. He pressed on following them all the same though…
Cool
Thanks for the feedback guys!
I am sure it does need to be proof read over :)
Thanks for the reads!
I'm working on a book called 'the deception trick' (my third novel) which will contain the idea that the audience are too biased towards the protagonist's point of view. (This I found after reading books like Great Gatsby and Jane Eyre...)
So, thanks for the feedback once again and I'm sure I can repair some of the questionable things in here. Better safe than sorry :)
It just needs a little proof read. Otherwise Its fine. Though I'd suggest replacing "shit" depending up on the Age of Audience your book is aimed at. Rather describe it, If you can't replace it. The answer to your question- No, Don''t quit. And just so you know, I'm only 14, well gonna be 15 this December. So, try being be a little more confident :)