Tales of the stars. chapter 4.

by Christian McNamee
24th July 2015

As the Shamrock cruised through space at hyper speed, Solomon and Shenn both dreamed peacefully. Solomon was dreaming that he was saving a damsel in distress from a t-rex whilst lasers fired form its weapons on its back. Shenn meanwhile was walking through her childhood home, whilst a bee taught her the meaning of honey and all its property’s. The alarm on the wall slowly lulled them awake, Solomon was the first to wake up, he blinked hard as his eyes adjusted to the artificial sunlight the ship created, it helped stop people going mad from lack of reference for their internal clock. Shenn groaned loudly, covering herself with the rest of the blankets, not wanting to get up, Solomon threw on his muppet pyjamas and went to the kitchen to cook some bacon, he slapped it on the non-stick pan and turned it up full, the bacon slowly sizzling, filling the air with a delicious aroma. Shenn rolled off the bed, landing on her hands and feet, using the blanket as clothing she walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table, her hair a mess, eyes closed, Solomon dropped the plate on the table in front of her, Shenn had loved bacon and eggs ever since Solomon introduced it to her three years ago. “Good morning dear” Solomon said, his voice husky. Shenn grunted something that sounded almost like thank you. Solomon tried not to laugh, it was his favourite part of the day, seeing Shenn in the morning. He flicked on the large television at the far side of the room and put on a recording of their favourite car show: The highest toothed wheel. After a few hours of flying, all of which Solomon and Shenn spent playing computer games on the two outrageously expensive computers they had both required with a rather nefarious story behind them.

Soon the ship gave the two a heads up that they were nearing the Hunio system, Telling Solomon he would soon have to take Manuel control of the ship. Solomon looked through the huge artificial window in front of him, due to the tremendous speeds the ship reached, windows had tendency to shatter. As small particles of dust or rock became like tiny nuclear bombs, all windows had been replace by organic/artificial ultra-high resolution cameras, mounted to give the same effect as a window, and show through 1000k screens, this meant that the windows had a higher resolution than the human eye could even perceive therefore there was never a worry of misjudgement when flying a ship.

The system had a main sequence yellow star, around this orbited 20 bodies, the sixth from the star was Ser-rina II. A planet only a few miles smaller than earth but with a similar atmosphere. The planet had just come out of an ice age only two hundred years ago, and so the climate was warm and pleasurable to most humans. Its top was a rocky tropical area whilst its middle was a band of land that stretched around the entire planet, only split in certain places by thick rivers, the bottom of the planet was that of an icy clime, although most of the Ice was receding with the natural warming climate. Thankfully the colonists showed sense and built their cities in land, far from any danger. Although, they always kept the motto: ‘Nature always wins’ close to heart.

Solomon, Shenn and Java left the ship to visit Solomon’s brother Henry, They had left Harley in the ship so she didn’t get lost. Henry was eight years older than Solomon And had been his only friend when they lived on the lunar colony although their parents were still very much alive they didn’t discuss them due to what they had done to Solomon for six years, Henry was very tall and had the same brown short hair as Solomon, he always had oil on his face and jumpsuits, He was a brilliant ship racer and could modify any ship to be competitive for the great endurance races of the milky way galaxy. Solomon carried the very expensive power cell gently to the workshop to show his brother meanwhile Shenn and Java had gone off to the markets with Sandra Henrys wife “right kid what’s happnin, here is at a bel hydro cell?!” Henry shouted scaring some of his employees, Solomon had not even spoken and had already began causing loud noises “tis indeed Henry tis indeed” Solomon said sounding very proud of his find “what’s the plan with it Sell it, mod it, keep it...” Henry asked “I was going to sell it but think of all the other stuff we could do” Solomon said “right sounds sweet bro, but something tells me ats not why you are here?” Henry asked pointing a sonic spanner at and sounding very serious now “some bad news bro, but the atoms may have returned” Solomon said looking down at the ground “what do you mean may have?” henry asked “Athy told us that there was a ship very similar to the old atoms ships” Solomon said. Henry looked around his shop, he looked to the large stands that held cars and Lorries, to the red walls, and then back to Solomon. “When did he tell you this” henry asked “a few hours ago, why” Solomon asked wondering where this was going. “Right, come in here” henry said walking to his office. Solomon followed behind, puzzled by henrys shifty behaviour. Henry walked to the back of the room, he prodded some buttons on a safe, and it opened with a creak. He peered in and took out a thin letter, it was old and yellow, with a blue border. “What’s that?” Solomon asked looking at the strange envelope. “Right, so you say the atoms are back right, well I got this delivered this morning by a drone, no markings or anything.” Henry said placing it on the table and looking at Solomon. “That’s odd?” Solomon said “yeah, well hers the real scary part” he opened the letter carefully and a thin piece of silver metal was exposed. Henry placed it gently on the grey table and placed his finger in the centre of the strange object. It let out a quiet beep, the piece of metal began to fold and twist, it moved as though a liquid, flowing and waving into squares. Soon it was now sitting up right as a small rectangle, with a hole in the top. Solomon looked at it curiously. He was about to ask what it was when suddenly a huge structure was thrown into the air and hovered as a spinning green building. Solomon frowned for a moment and then came to realise what it was “the atoms original science building?” he said tilting his head. “Yeah, it is, but that’s not what I meant” henry said holding his hand up, indicating Solomon remain quiet. The building began to shrink floor by floor and soon only a green rectangle was left spinning in the air. It then began to project downwards, showing vast underground area they had previously not heard of. “What the hell?” Solomon exclaimed looking at the underground labyrinth “how did we not see this?” he asked again looking back and forth between henry and the projection. “I thought that too, but what bothers me more is the fact you got told about the atoms and I got this sent to me on the same day!” henry said befuddled by the whole thing. “No sender name or anything?” Solomon asked hoping it was Ath Brak. “No nothing, even the postage drone was unmarked!” henry said “did you not follow it?” Solomon asked “I didn’t think I needed to” Henry said wishing he had followed the drone. “This is weird as shit” Solomon said in daze by all of this information. Someone sent this map to them, and someone sent the atom ship to the bo-ops, but what still remained was the person who was sending these things.

Shenn, Sandra and java walked through the markets browsing the various stalls and stands that offered many trinkets and gifts, Sandra was a tall red headed women and much like the rest of the family, was quite tough. she and Henry met during the Gekan wars had not been apart since. “So how’s Solomon these days, is his back okay?” Sandra said “yeah it still happens, apparently its gonna happen a lot more until he is around twenty” Shenn said holding up a necklace “what about you and Henry, is the business still going good?” Shenn asked “yeah it seems every member of the family is doing well, Must be something to do with the fact that the two youngest saved mars!” Sandra joked. Shenn smiled, remembering the day she met Solomon. “Yeah you Humans aren’t so bad” Shenn said laughing quietly “What were him and Henry so excited about anyway Sandra asked “Oh myself and Solomon found this really rare power cell, it was pretty dramatic getting it” aid thinking back to how stupid the bandit was “oh? What happened?” Sandra asked “well we ran into some bandits and we had a fight with them and when we were checking their ship we found the cell, but the bandit tried trapping us, it was quite funny” she said her warrior side coming out, Sandra looked impressed by the fact that two teens stopped a bandit ship and then looted it “that sounds like something out of a movie” Sandra said still rather impressed “OH look at this” aid holding up a red crystal necklace into the light to get a better look, she noticed something in the sky, it seemed to be burning up in the atmosphere it got closer and closer until it was visible as a blue sphere and it seemed to be moving fast. Java sensed the danger and her hackles raised and a deep growl came from her mouth “Sandra what is that” aid pointing to the blue object, Sandra looked at the blue object and was shocked at what she was seeing, the Gekan war ship drew closer to where they were standing, soon it was hovering above them, people were screaming and running for their lives, “that can’t be possible” Sandra said as she grabbed Shenn and ran to the workshop Shenn knew not to protest as Sandra had fought the Gekan before “I thought they were gone” Shenn said looking back and seeing they landing pods hit the ground, a large Gekan grunt emerged although something was different…it had been atomised.

Sandra knew they wouldn’t get back to the workshop in time, and people would only get hurt if they left. “Have you got your phone?” Sandra asked reverting to her military background Shenn didn’t say anything as she whipped out her phone and quickly typed a message to Solomon. Java growled and barred her titanium teeth as they sparked.

Solomon and Henry sat looking at the map, “who the hell sent these, could it be a trap?” Solomon said looking at the rotating map. “It most definitely is a trap, solo, it could even be mum and dad, trying to lure us in” Henry said as he thought of his parents before the atomisation. Suddenly Solomon’s phone began to beep, he casually took it from his pocket. It read Gekans back, atomised. Need help NOW!! Market. Waving stick. Solomon ran to the door. “What are you doing?” henry wondered “Shenn and Sandra are in trouble. Come on!”

Solomon and Henry arrived at the market only to see it empty, “Sandra, Shenn” Henry and Solomon called out, Solomon’s phone beeped, he looked down to see Shenn had messaged him telling him to shut up and look for the waving stick, “okay bro look for a waving stick” Solomon said “There” Henry said pointing to a weapon stall “nice choice of cover” Solomon whispered as they crouched walked to the stand.

“Thank Mars your here Solomon, hello Henry” Shenn said as the two worried looking brothers arrived at the stall java eased a little when she saw Solomon but still remained fixed on the strong smell of Gekan “Sandra what the hell is happnin? Henry asked “the Gekan are back but they have been atomised” Henry looked at Sandra in shock “what do we do?” Solomon asked still very confused by the fact the Gekan were back. Sandra looked to the various guns laid out on the table “grab a gun guys, if they want a fight, let’s give it to them” Sandra said cocking a rifle, Shenn and Solomon couldn’t help but smile as they grabbed a gun. Solomon picked a thirty shot plasma repeater and a chromed tungsten pistol, he looked to a leather holster and rifle back mount and tightened them to his waist and back “Let’s do this” Solomon said his eyes now purple, Shenn nodded in agreement, “Alright, Solomon, Shenn you take the right hand side lot, me and Sandra have got the left” Henry said, Sandra looked to Henry “just like old times” She said “Just like old times” Henry repeated java began to snarl and growl louder as her tail wagged with excitement.

Both Solomon and Shenn ran to the left of the Gekan squad, still unaware of the group’s presence. Solomon peered over the edge of the wall and started to see in slow motion, he watched how the Gekan moved, how they kicked over tables, they twitched slightly. A side effect of atomisation, three of them seemed to talk to one another, they were a tall lizard like race, with bony tails, and long horned faces. They wore plate armour hung carelessly over their bodies, some had scars covering their blue skin, while others had rammed bits of metal and bone into their flesh as trophies. They held huge weapons. Although the weapons looked as rough as they did. Solomon looked into their deep blue glowing eyes and thought what an ugly bunch. Henry and Sandra waved to the two, showing they were ready, java remained in the middle. Sandra held up both hands extending all ten fingers. Shenn looked and then turned to Solomon. “There are only ten of them” she said in a whisper, Solomon nodded. Sandra began to count down again using her hands. Solomon started to see in slow motion as soon as he saw the last finger go down. He lept over the wall, charging at two of the beasts. One saw him instantly and howled loudly. Solomon jumped high into the air clearing the Gekan. He shot the beast three times in the back as he sailed through the air. He came crashing down on top of another. The disgruntled beast hit the ground with a thud. Solomon was already up and he soon swung his rifle at its head. Killing it.

Shenn slid behind a wall as pink bullets rained down on her. She saw her opportunity when the large beasts began to reload. She kneeled out form her cover and fired her carefully chosen pistols with incredible speed. Two fell, but one remained. She looked around gathering her thoughts. The Gekan began to move closer, firing as it did. She waited for the break although when she rose form her cover she saw that it had been felled by Solomon who had tackled it to the ground. She was thankful as she needed bullets.

Henry had let everyone else take a gun, leaving only a large knife for him, he did not mind as he was a well-built man, standing at six foot ten. He ducked behind a pillar that held up a towering building. He looked around, he saw a Gekan charge Sandra. Seeing this he too charged the beast, thrusting the knife deep into its back. The Gekan punched him away, leaving his nose bloody. He ran again this time he caught the alien by the arm causing it to drop its rifle, he rammed the knife into its throat, and it fell with a splutter and growl. He picked up the rifle and finished off the beast with a shot to the head.

Sandra whom was an excellent shot looked down the scope of a long rifle, she fired, the bullet sailed through three Gekans, and they all held their throats as they fell. She turned to see one of the remaining two Gekans charge at Shenn, when java came bounding, growling loudly. She jumped at the beast’s throat, biting down hard. She surged electricity through the Gekan and it fell twitching and smoking. She turned to the next Gekan, which was by far the biggest of them, she sensed that she should only try and fight when all others started to, and so retreated behind a cart, waiting for the right moment. Solomon looked around in slow motion checking everyone was okay. He saw something small move, it was a child, it was running towards the Gekan, Solomon ran as hard he could at the Gekan, jumping into its chest, it staggered but did not fall. Solomon hit the ground hard, dropping his pistol. The Gekan put its foot on his chest and laughed with a deep demonic voice. Pulling a huge rifle from its back. The beast swung it down and placed it on his shoulder. Bullets bounced off its armour as the rest of the group tried to kill it. It fired the gun and a great flash pink erupted from the end of the barrel, shredding Solomon’s shoulder. His back repaired what it could covering his shoulder with a silvery purple material. He could move his arm with little effect. His back charged him even more now and his eyes burned with a purple smoke. He pulled a small pocket knife form his trousers and slammed it deep into the huge beasts foot, it lifted its three toed foot with a yell. Solomon jumped up grabbing his pistol from the ground, he fired it into its face. Blue blood splattered his face. The Gekan went quiet but did not fall. He fired more and more, it stood its arms limp by its side. Solomon’s angry face twitched and scowled as the alien fell to the ground. Dead.

Shenn ran to Solomon first. “Oh Solomon, we have to get you to a hospital!” he looked to Shenn “Im fine my dear, no need to worry!” he said with a sly smile, teeth chattering. Henry and Sandra had now arrived “dude we have to get you out of here!” Henry said. Again Solomon smiled, although it quickly faded, he started to feel faint, his vision blurred and “im gonnn, to be zee humph” he mumbled as he began to sway from side to side, he hit the ground, hard, again.

Comments

Thanks for the advice man, yeah its just the first part, its still in early stages. Sorry! Gonna go back through the thing with a fine comb and work out the kinks. But seriously, its helpful to point out some of the mistakes i made! Thanks.

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Christian
McNamee
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Crime, Mystery, Thriller
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Christian McNamee
24/07/2015

Hi, is this the beginning of a longer piece of work?

If so, the first couple of paragraphs could be cut and reinserted bit by bit later on in the first chapter. You chose the label action and adventure, and its what I was expecting from the first paragraph. First line even. Instead I found it quite difficult to sustain my interest with such a slow beginning.

There are some spelling mistakes (e.g. space fairing? One too many 'i's, I think) and some clunky phrases (e.g. ...which he got teased for...), but I would suggest working out how to reorder the paragraphs first so you get to the action quicker - no point correcting the small elements until you have the bigger picture stronger.

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Katy
W
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Katy W
24/07/2015