I shouldn't have done it. It can't have ended this way. The problem is that I just don't understand, why. Maybe, if I told you, you would understand - maybe you could help me to understand it. But whatever you do, please don't judge me after all that I have been through. Well if thats cleared, then I should start.
My name is Fidelis Amicus Gravis and this is my story:
Thank you Victoria , Susan and L.S.Jackowski! I hope its better now.
Only remaining thing that jars a bit (for me) was a few too many 'it' Potentially you could drop the one at the end of the first line, and/or drop 'on it' after 'please don't judge me'
Otherwise great & I'd love to read more!
Despite being short I really like this. Let me know when you have uploaded more :)