Virtual Love
“I’m dying!”a strangled cry, came from the depths of the house. An agonising
pause, before further protestations.
“He’s got me.. “ followed by “Aaargh!”
Oh hurry up and die then, so I can go back to sleep. A horrible thing for a loving wife to say
I know. But it was the truth. My husband was in a virtual world, whilst I, in the normal world
had been trying to go to sleep for the past hour. Finally the groans stopped either he died in
the virtual world or he had fallen asleep in the real world.
When we both retired, I had imagined nice long holidays, walks in the park,
snuggling up on the sofa. It started out that way. Until our grandson Josh introduced him to
online gaming. We had just come back from a river cruise, I was still on a high from it, when
he popped round. I put the kettle on, humming away to myself in the kitchen. The next
thing, I heard crashing sounds. I ran out cup in hand, assuming Stan had fallen over or
knocked something over.
“What was that, is everything alright?”
“It’s alright love, Josh is showing me his new game. It’s very realistic, set in World
War 2”.
The following week, we found ourselves talking to Tim, a fresh faced salesman in
our local electrical shop. Stan had decided to get a laptop, move with the times he said. We
can take it on holidays with us. Keep in touch with the family. Skype, facebook, twitter. It
was all new to me, although I liked the idea of it. We had recently started going to our local
library to take part in Silver Surfers. An initiative, to get older people to embrace
technology. Our son Jeffery was paying for a Sky package for us. Tim’s shiny face beamed,
when we dropped that into the conversation.
“You could upgrade to sky plus, it allows you to pause live TV, so you can go and
make a cuppa, without missing anything”.
I rang Jeffery to ask about the Sky Plus, he knows about these things. He was as
equally enthralled by it as Tim. So I handed the phone over to Tim. The next thing I know,
we left the store with sky plus arranged and a shiny new laptop and a game. Apparently
Tim had done a special deal for us.
It didn’t take long for our lives to change. Stan embraced the new laptop and
I discovered the joys of recording whole series and pausing live TV. However the
programmes we used to enjoy watching together, started to drift away from Stan. He was
so engrossed in this new virtual world. That our time together on the sofa was becoming a
distant memory. Meal times were a nuisance too, everything had to be timed around the
game. I was beginning to get jealous of the laptop. I moaned about the time he spent on it.
“Oh Barbara it’s only a game, I deserve a bit of fun”, he protested. “Now I’m not
working we don’t have to get up early in the morning anymore. We’ve plenty of time to
go out and do stuff”.
The trouble was, even though he meant it at the time. It never happened, he would
be on it all day. I started going out for walks by myself. Sometimes he didn’t even notice!
Frustration was building up inside of me, I began to imagine hiding the charger for the
laptop, putting child tamper proof guards on the sockets.
One day I was complaining to Josh about it.
“Awwh Nan, don’t worry about it. Perhaps instead of getting annoyed, try and
find out about this game yourself and why it appeals to him so much”.
So I went along to Silver Surfers at the library by myself. I asked about the World
War 2 game he was playing. I didn’t realise other could people were playing at the same
time as Stan. A nice young girl, Mandy, helped me get online and showed me how to play it.
I knew Stan was playing right now. I scanned the icons, looking for his name. Mandy said
people sometimes played under an alias name. So another look, revealed Sauce 68 was in
the middle of action.
That was him, Sauce was his nickname. He was coming over a hill, Mandy clicked the
mouse over his character. Then passed it over to me, I froze then clicked, a small cloud
appeared on the screen.
“What does that mean?” I whispered to Mandy.
“It means you have made a direct hit on his tank, he will be out of action now”.
I felt so guilty all the way home on the bus. I hope it didn’t upset him. As I turned the
key in the door, I heard the TV on and the kettle boiling.
“Hello, where have you been?”
“Just to the library, Silver Surfers session”.
“Learn anything knew?”
“Yes I tried something different today”.
I avoided his gaze, as he handed me a cuppa. He led me into the living room and
the sofa. Patting the place beside him.
“I thought we could watch some of those programmes you recorded together”.
“What happened to your game, I thought you were really enjoying it”.
“I was, until some kamikaze player decided to come over the hill and hit me. I
wouldn’t mind, only he was supposed to be on my team!”
“I’m really sorry”.
“It’s okay love, it wasn’t your fault”.
“Actually it was…”
“But how..?”
“Down at Silver Surfers, I went online to play the game. I wanted to see what it was
all about. Mandy passed me the mouse and I panicked and accidentally shot you”.
“Oh, that was you”, Stan burst out laughing.
“Forgive me?”
“Of course I forgive you. From now on just remember not to hit members
of your own team!”
“I will not be playing again, I can assure you”, She shook her head at the thought of it.
He smiled at her and reached for the remote. They snuggled together and settled back, to watch a bit of TV.
“After this though Barb, I’m going back onto the game. However I will try and have quality time with you too. I don’t want you to be hitting me in real life”.
She laughed and threw a cushion at him. Perhaps she could put up with Stan in the in the virtual world, as long as he spent more time in the real one as well.
Hi Miriam. This was really entertaining to read. I liked the way she felt guilty at making a direct hit on his virtual tank! I do agree with the other comments though. You do drop into the third person in the last few lines. And some places should have commas not full stops or full stops and not commas. But I enjoyed reading it. Keep going.
The bits about putting child proof locks on the sockets really made me chuckle, as did his nickname. You've got a knack for small comic details that hook you into the characters.
Like the previous comment, I preferred the first person perspective as it made it seem more personal, like a chat with a friend.
Well done.
Easy to read, feel-good story that made me smile. You have a good ear for dialogue - it sounds natural and no confusion about who is speaking without adding 'he said', 'she said' to every speech.
Two things did jump out at me though:
1) You suddenly change the point of view from 1st person to 3rd person right at the end of the story. Personally, I think 1st person works best for this type of story because it allows the reader direct access to the main character's thoughts, but whichever you choose it's important to stick to it.
2) I wanted to swap some of your full stops for commas, and vice versa.
For example, 'We had recently started going to our local library to take part in Silver Surfers. An initiative, to get older people to embrace technology.' would make more sense as, 'We had recently started going to our local library to take part in Silver Surfers, an initiative to get older people to embrace technology.'
A good tip for checking punctuation is to always read your work aloud to yourself. A slight pause between words to make their exact meaning clear, calls for a comma. A longer pause, to separate different thoughts, usually needs a full stop.
Good luck with it!