There was a Village It was evergreen and calm, the big well was the biggest landmark. People must cross the well for the daily needs. One day while people crossing the well they noticed some strange smell, Village people peeped into the well and saw a young boy’s body floating.
So the people decided to take the dead body out from the well. They carried the boys dead body, the body was disgusting, it smelled very sick and the appearance of the body was like a soft material.
While the village people carried the dead body out of the well the first village man holds the dead body’s hand to carry. The boy dead body’s skin was peeling also the boy’s bone appeared. Finally the village man took out the boy’s dead body out of the well. Suddenly the boy’s stomach burst out with full of maggots
The boy’s body was socked in water for a couple of days , so the dead body’s appearance was like a bull frog.
The boy’s parents was shocked while seeing their son’s dead body they cried out with full of pain , Actually the boy’s parents was not mush rich they was having a small farm with two to three cows .
But the boy’s parents still didn’t know why the boy killed himself! The boy’s death was a mystery. Even the cops closed the file as suicide.
Few Months later:
After few months a small girl finished her schooling and walking alone on the road, while she crossed the well (which the young boy killed himself) the little girl heard some strange noise. She thought that somebody was calling her near the well
The little girl saw someone standing near the well and waving his hand and calling the girl to play with him. The girl went near the well and she peeped into the well, she called out the person “where are you? I’m here to play with you” said the little girl
While her peeping into the well some strange hand pushed her into the well. “OH MY GOD! Please save me I really don’t know how to swim, save me please “Shouted the little girl.
The little girl was dying slowly. There crossed a Shepherd boy, He heard the little girl screaming that she needs somebody help. The shepherd boy went near the Well and peeped into the well also he saw the little girl was helpless.
The Shepherd boy had a cloth of towel which he usually tied on his hip; he took his towel and throws it towards the little girl and told her to hold on tight.
Finally he saved the little girl. The little girl said “You saved me Brother! I want to take you to my parents “The Shepherd boy replied “No! Please keep this as secret, don’t tell this to anyone .So said the Shepherd boy and moved with his cattle.
FEW YEARS LATER:
A Man was moving to his house after finishing his work. While he crossed the Well he heard a noise of a man screaming “HELP ME! I’m sinking; I’m going to die please save me somebody”
So the man went near by the Well and peeped into it. Inside the Well there was nobody, the man was shocked and shouted “Who the hell! Stop kidding me and get lost” Said the man with full of anger. Finally he started walking
While he was walking suddenly he heard a huge splash , He went and peeped into the well again but there was no sign of what he heard , the Well stayed very calm .The man started sweating with fear , He was watching into the Well ,Suddenly a mysterious hand pushed him into the Well .
The man started shouting like anything, “Hey who are you? Why you’re trying to kill me, what do you want from me? Please don’t kill me , I’m sinking inside please let me out “ Screamed the man .Suddenly a boy peeped into the well and saw the man needs help, so the boy threw a rope into the well and said “Hold tight the rope sir I’ll help you”
The man used the rope to climb up away from the well and finally he was saved. The boy who saved the man was moving on, the man called him “Hey young fella stop right there! You saved my life, I must offer you some credit, Please say what you want?”
The boy replied “Sir don’t I want any credit from you, Please leave me I must go now”. The man thought “why this boy not showing his face to me maybe he is one who tried to kill me” Let me ask him to show his face
And the man said to the young boy “Excuse young men please show your face to me I must see your face” the young boy slowly turned himself towards the man, the man was stunned by seeing the boy’s face.
The boy’s face does not have eyes, nose, and mouth! The man was very shocked also scared to see the boy with the vacant face.
The man wiped out his eyes and saw the boy again, the boy vanished. The man was totally confused he thought some super natural creature saved him from danger and also he thought “if I tell to anybody about this incident they will conform me I’m a crazy guy! So I never ever tell this incident to anyone” and he moved to his house with confusion.
“ACCORDING TO THIS STORY THE GIRL WHO WAS SAVED BY THE SHEPHERED BOY WAS THE DAUGHTER OF THE MAN WHO WAS SAVED BY THE SUPER NATURAL PERSON”
TO BE CONTINUED. ....
A Story By ,
Joshua Sanford(Cult)
Hello Wilhelmina Lyre.. first of all thank you for
Guiding me . Yeah you're right there re so many mistakes on that story . I just tried it rather than doing nothing .. I'll do it well next time (:
Hey, Joshua!
It is evident that English is not your first language. You need to get a good friend (who writes excellent English) to read this and correct your mistakes.
For example, nobody English would say "cross the well". I'm not sure whether you mean "go to the well" or (more probably) "pass by the well". For example "There crossed a Shepherd boy," should be "A shepherd boy passed by,"
"take the dead body out from the well" should be "take the dead body out of the well".
There are too many mistakes for me to make a full list, and (probably) too many mistakes for an agent to be interested in representing you... UNLESS you get it polished up by somebody with better English before you send it to them.
On a question of style, you repeat "dead body" far too often. We know after the first time that the body is dead. Very dead. After that first time, just write "the body" or in some cases "it".
For example: "So the people decided to take the dead body out of the well. They carried it a short distance away. It was disgusting."
In fact, I would drop the "so" and "the people" (since you mentioned them in the previous sentence): I personally would also replace "take out of" by "remove from": That way, we have:
"They decided to remove it from the well. They carried it a short distance away. It was disgusting."
Similarly, once you've written "a shepherb boy" once, you should just use "he".
I hope that that's some help.