Have you ever met a little wizard? They are not so easy to find. They are so very small you might easily step on one and that’s if you can find him in the first place.. The important thing about little wizards, more important than how small they are; is that they are very troublesome. The smaller the wizard the greater the trouble he causes. Big wizards can change the world with their magic. They can't do good things or they can do bad things. Little wizards can only cause mischief.Trouble seems to store up in their tummies. Then the naughtiness just grows and grows. It spouts out their earholes and shoots down their nose. That’s why little wizards must wear curly winkle pickers on their feet. Otherwise their mischief would simply blast off their toes.
There is no little wizard more troublesome than Wonky Wibbles. He’s 556 years old, can you believe it? He is probably the oldest little wizard the world has ever seen. He is most definitely the naughtiest little wizard in the world. And to top it off he has the longest beard you’ve ever seen. In grows an inch for every year he is old. Its dark grey and very messy. His beard trails right out behind Wonky Wibbles. When he walks it trips him up all the time Wonky Wibbles has a habit of appearing when he chooses usually with a very loud thud at an awkward moment.
Thank you Victoria that's hugely helpful. I will have a think on how to change this 😊😊
Just a couple of little things, nothing too serious but the line 'they cant do good things or they can do bad things' doesn't read right and a full stop would before Wonky Wibbles (third line from the bottom) may be needed. Other than those two mini points I flows well :)
This is the beginning excerpt to a children's book I have recently written. As always it's difficult to compete with all the vast array of children's literature out there so please read the extract and give any feedback you think would be constructive. I look forward to your comments.