Prologue
Sitting here, breathing in the familiar smell of wild flowers, and sheltering under the huge old tree, I still found it difficult to comprehend everything that had happened. The air smelt slightly damp as though a storm was coming, and I gave an involuntary shudder. Even now, knowing the truth, the fear of those storms had not completely dissipated. I leant my head back against the trunk, fitting nicely into the spot that I had occupied so many times before. Although I now knew I could do this at will, my stomach clenched with apprehension at what was to come. I knew that I would never want to revisit this period in my life again, I just needed to make sense of it this one final time. I just needed to be careful, to make sure I didn’t change anything that had happened, otherwise there would be consequences.
Opening my laptop, I returned to the messages I had sent my best friend Jen. All I needed was a trigger, to place me in the right moment in time. As I started to read I smiled, remembering the friendship, and familiarity of that time, before everything changed. Then I let myself start to float; drifting back, allowing myself to occupy my old body, and thoughts, carefully and silently, avoiding anything that could bring the change to the attention of those around me.
Jen,
Well, we’ve finally unpacked – or I should say that I have! Dad’s been at work most of the time, though I guess that doesn’t surprise you. His behaviour is still off – I’d really hoped it would improve once we got away from the old house, and the constant reminders. He’s been going on about my needing a new start again – but after that last row, I just daren’t argue with him anymore. His mood swings can be just so scary, and the temper has definitely not improved – in fact if anything it is getting worse. So much for the fresh start he banged on about!
How’s Aber? I am SO jealous. Bet the sun’s shining isn’t it? Where’s your room, is it facing the sea, or the mountains? Still wish I could have come with you, like we’d always planned, but I lost that argument the day Mom died…
Still Warwick should be ok, it’s got a good reputation, and the course seemed just right, so need to keep my focus on that now, not worry about what could have been.
Anyhow, this place is ok really – even though it’s very old. Kenilworth town itself is a bit old school, but you should see the Castle. I love it up there. I can take my music and wander around for hours, or if the weather’s good I can just snuggle into a corner and read. No-one bothers me, and it’s SO Goth – you’d love it. I looked it up on Google, and apparently there are parts of it that date back as far as Norman times, and it also played quite an important role in some siege. Some of it has been rebuilt, turned into offices, tea rooms (with the blue rinses to match LOL), but I like the ruins best. There’s an old Abbey too, at the other end of town, but there’s not much of that left, with far too many kids playing in the park for me, and it’s not like I’ve got anyone to play tennis with here.
The cottage itself apparently dates back to the 17th Century, and has some connection to Walter Raleigh and the potatoes. It has three little corridors leading off to different, really odd shaped rooms – some people would hate it but I don’t and I know you won’t either. It’s easy to hide in the attic, and pretend not to hear Dad. Can’t wait til November when you come to stay – I’m going to hold you to that promise!
Has Freshers started there properly yet? I don’t start for a few more weeks, but I feel physically sick when I think about it. I’m not looking forward to being the new girl, but I guess we have that in common.
At the moment though I’ve still got some time to myself – not that Dad likes THAT of course. I’m sure he thinks Greg will turn up out of the blue or something – as if! That boat sailed, back in Clifford, and I don’t ever want to see HIM again. Men are most definitely off the agenda, and not just because of the promise Dad forced out of me. Wonder if that has something to do with these dreams I’m getting…
Can’t wait to hear all your news, don’t keep me waiting.
L
Hi Andrea.
After reading it through a couple of times, I don't think you should keep the prologue. For one, it's not gritty enough, and it would fair better being the start of a chapter.
Prologues are tricky things to accomplish, and unless you're a well-seasoned writer, I'd advice you not to use them.
You have an over-use of commas in your writing, read it out loud to yourself, and you will find out a more natural position. As to semi-colons, I have always been led to believe, that the following sentence should be able to stand alone in it's own right.
I think you have a good idea for a story, but at the moment it feels a little flat. Perhaps if I saw more, I might be able to get a better feel for it.
Good luck and keep writing. :)
Sarah.