ISBN- 9781491735510
9781491735527
9781491735534
Jack Parsons thinks he is living a normal life, but all that is about to change.
He works as chief editor at The Great Escape, a specialized travel magazine. His real life is comfortable, fantastic at times, but his dream life is beyond description.
When he starts to literally live his dreams, his once-normal life becomes anything but. It all starts innocently enough, but slowly, his dream-driven life turns from pleasant and exciting to something much more sinister.
Trapped inside an increasingly more convoluted web of confusion, deceit, and dangerous indecision, everything Jack values is suddenly called into question. Who can he trust? Which experiences are real? Which are illusions? As his two worlds taint each other, he’s desperate for answers. He knows he has to save someone, but who? From what? And why?
And why him?
To save his sanity and the life of his mystery target, Jack must call on every skill he’s collected over the years. Most would consider the ability to live their dreams to be a blessing, but to Jack, it’s becoming a curse. Jack is about to learn that the unfinished business of his past are the nightmares of his present—and that closure comes at a cost.
To learn more, visit my website: www.antrichards.com
Jeff and Lorraine,
Thank you both for your comments.
You know what, I totally agree with your comments and especially your feedback (Jeff) as harsh as it sounds.
Firstly, it was only now that I saw the comments as I was (mistakenly it seems) waiting for email notifications as has happened with other posts... hence the delay.
In retrospect, I did find the synopsis not as aggresive (in terms of capturing interest) as I originally wished and submitter, but the publishers insisted that was thew right approach.
I decided to display exactly what that the book cover says in order to get a more accurate and honest feedback.
I agree Jeff that it is bland. In fact, too correctly written and sadly does not reflect what the story is really about. Being the first book I (self) published and wanting to get it out soonest (while my older brother was still alive, who sadly passed away the same day it was published...) I think I overlooked this as well as a few other aspects.
In hindsight, it may probably have not been the wisest decision, but hey, you learn from experience, don't you?
The positive is I still retain full rights so hopefully with the right guidance and person should I find one, I may still be able to rescue this story. Despite the bland, uninspiring intro, I still believe it is an interesting concept.
Once again guys thanks for your honest feedback. It is very much appreciated.
Ant, when writing this kind of blurb, you need to ask yourself what's important? What does the reader need to know? Not Jack's life story or current situation, the bland ordinary facts, but the massive thing that's turning his world upside down.
Everyone thinks they're living a normal life: that's a given. You don't write thrillers about that; you write them about the abnormal, the slap-across-the-face moment that changes the world for your character. So that's where you start from in you blurb.
'Most would consider the ability to live their dreams to be a blessing, but to Jack, it’s becoming a curse. ' - this is commentary, and not relevant here. Leave this out, and the next sentence assumes a much more important role. Here are the facts at last: something in his past is threatening his present and his future - and those of an unknown other.
Once I've got through to the nub of the matter, it sounds like an interesting premise; but you've put me off by softening the whole feel of what should be a thriller.
Not sure if you want this critiquing, or if it's just a lead to your website, but since you've put it up...
It's not terribly hooky, I'm afraid. The first two sentences don't draw us in, they're quite bland, and don't give any sense of fantastic or beyond description. Telling us 'all that is about to change' is kinda: well, we expect that, it's a story, innit? In fact, by the end of the 5th sentence, we know only one thing for certain - he's chief editor at the The Great Escape. His dream life is beyond description, so we have no way of knowing what that means, his 'once-normal' life was told to be 'comfortable, fantastic at times' which is somewhat of a contradiction. Then he has a dream-driven life which turns from pleasant and exciting to something much more sinister, but there's no clue as to what sinister is: ghosts?Zombies?Physical torture? Mind-games? Dragons?
Then he's trapped in a web of confusion, deceit and dangerous indecision, but we have no idea of who or what the antagonist is, what he's up against, and leaving out so much detail can confuse and lead to lack of interest. I think you've tried too hard to give a picture of the mysterious and frightening, but lost sight of Jack, and what he's going through - which should interest the reader far more. 'Everything Jack values is suddenly called into question': well, all we know is he's an editor at a travel magazine, so it's hard to see what his values might be. And then he must call on every skill he's collected over the years... erm... editing? Proofreading? Those are the only skills we know he possesses, from this piece. Then you throw in that he has 'unfinished business of his past' with no hint of a clue as to what that may be.
Seriously, I feel you run a real risk of not attracting people with this synopsis/outline. It's not attractive enough, and it's not saying enough of the right things to interest me, I'm afraid. But do wait for other comments, I'm just one opinion.
If you emphasised the intrigue from the beginning, rather than the description of his (boring?) job, you'd hook much quicker. And then if you built on the intrigue, I'd want to know more. As I see it, it's the dream world taking over his life and the fact that he's got to save someone, so why not something like:
Jack is obsessed with saving someone he's never met. At first, it was just a dream. But the dream kept happening, and now the line between reality and the unconscious realm has blurred so much he can't tell which is which. Drawn deeper and deeper into dreams, his sanity at risk, Jack must rescue the woman, or risk losing his own life in madness.
Might not be a woman, and he may not know the sex of the person he has to rescue, but you could go on to say he's beset by fantastical beasts (if that's true) or by phantasms that he cannot trust, who try to provoke him - whatever actually happens in the story, but give us that much at least, and we'll be more intrigued, and want to find out more.
Hope this helps. Sorry if it sounds a little harsh...