In any drawn-out labour, there comes the time when you need to ask: ‘How am I doing?’
To share or not to share?
In any drawn-out labour, there comes the time when you need to ask: ‘How am I doing?’
Writing is not amenable to an annual assessment and review. You can’t ask your boss or your colleagues what they think. So one of the questions I faced after completing that first draft: should I show it to someone and, if so, who?
It was pretty pointless doing that if all I wanted was a pat on the back. I realised that having my ego stroked, while undeniably welcome, wouldn’t help Grosse Fugue be as good as it could possibly be. But if I wasn’t planning to publish, why reveal it? What could it gain?
Well, the truth was simple. I might have started off with noble intentions of purity of purpose, my high artistic ideals never to be sacrificed on Mammon’s altar. But the more I wrote, the clearer became the notion that the world should not be deprived of such breathless brilliance, that I owed it to my fellow humans to share my work. Or, more seriously, that maybe, just maybe, it would no longer be satisfying enough just to write, now I had to be read.
It’s only fair in this sort of confessional to be open and honest. I did harbour huge ambitions for the book. Once it was sitting there, I wanted it to make a difference, to challenge as well as to entertain and move.
Two Russians were banging around in my head. Myakovsky remarked that “Art is not a mirror to reflect the world, but a hammer with which to shape it.” Perhaps more appositely, Zamyatin said this: “There are books of the same chemical composition as dynamite. The only difference is that a piece of dynamite explodes once, whereas a book explodes a thousand times.”
Well, I wanted my novel to explode a thousand and more times.
I had decided to postpone the sharing thing until I’d completed a first draft. Then I started talking to people and, if they seemed genuinely interested, I’d give them a print-out to read.
And then I waited for a response.
I don’t recommend this approach. Silence can only be interpreted as judgement-by-cowardice. Some commented constructively, others were enthusiastic. But I lost count of the number of people who said bugger all. This was hideous.
So, in the end, I decided to see how literary agents would respond. That was fun.
Ian Phillips is a freelance writer for businesses whose first novel, Grosse Fugue, will be published by Alliance Publishing Press on April 3rd. He’s tweeting developments @Ian_at_theWord.
Thanks for that, Christina.
As I'm still in the throes of being edited (wait for Blog #10!), the notion of improvabililty or perfectability is very much in the forefront of my thinking.
It's clear that we ourselves as the creative force can only see our own work in a particular light, no matter how objective we think we are. We need other people's perspectives, whether or not they are 'in the trade'. But in my current state of mind, I'm beginning to think that something is only really finished when the moment comes when it is no longer possible to change it.
In #5 I talked of the haunting that started when I 'completed' the first draft. That doesn't go away, so I've reconciled myself to the fact that only when it's published will I write 'Finis' but even then I will believe it was perfectable!
Louise,
I'm not sure that I entirely agree with your position that writing as an activity is exclusively validated by a publishing credit.
I believe that what we do is noble . To conjure whole worlds with our imagination, our thinking and, perhaps, our knowledge/research with the aim of entertaining, challenging and/or informing is a fine thing, A book exists when it is written. When one shares it, one does so generously; just as a reader is generous when they invest their time in exploring our work and even going so far as to comment, hopefully constructively.
Sitting at our desks forging characters, plot, descriptions, dialogues and narratives places us in the company of the very greatest of our species. We need to rejoice in that opportunity, even while we curse its very difficulty!
Ian,
I know you are partial to a quote.
I wondered if you used any in your book at the head of chapters.
I have selected three for my novel, two Shakespeare, and one Chaucer, but I will use a few more.