WE DID IT!
Final Validated Word Count: 50140
The Writing Process: So my early lead definitely did not continue on. I did reach my last goal of 45,000 last weekend, and then pretty much took a premature victory week and wrote nothing, holding everything back until this weekend. I’m one of the last of my NaNo writing buddies to validate and win, but at least I got it in all in good time – it isn’t even noon yet on day 30!
The Story So Far: This NaNo has been the choppiest year ever! Even last year’s attempt, which only got 15,000 words in before I walked away, didn’t feel choppy, it just felt I had nothing to give. This one feels all over the place, which has made it very difficult to get back into a flow of writing. Just trying to find where I can start writing a needed scene somewhere between all of the layers has made writing this story extra daunting.
I don’t dislike my story at all; in fact, I still really love the idea of it, and above all, the characters I’ve enjoyed unleashing into this strange world. But what I really need now is my delete button back. When competing for word counts, I tend to just let whatever is, be. This is great for getting me to start putting words onto the page, but not so great for trying to get anywhere consistently. When I realize that I’ve just written pages of rubbish, I highlight the text so that I know I’m not keeping it later, and then just keep going. With White Rabbits, I’ve backtracked so many times that even I’m getting lost. Given the bad decision of going a few days without writing, it’s made the process almost painful. But I made it to 50,000, I know where the story is headed, and while this NaNo draft is not a complete first draft, it’s forced me to look at all sorts of different angles that simply needing to write “something” brings about.
The Next Step: Celebratory ice cream! Then I’m unleashing the wrecking ball! I’m not going to completely destroy this draft, but it does have a lot of clutter that’s suffocating the story. I think of the NaNo draft as finding that giant slab of marble. Once I get through a complete first draft, I’ll be able to hear all the better what that slab of marble wants to be. After that, it’s just chipping away all the “not story” until the real piece of art is revealed. This is a big slab of marble, though, so the wrecking ball is in order before I start the delicate work.
I’ve made a promise to have my first draft finished within 3 months, following some advice from Stephen King. After that, though, I’ll put it down, let myself build up some distance from it as I work on other in-progress drafts, and then come back to it with new eyes. This works really well for me because even if I remember the story, I often forget the voice, so coming back to it fresh lets me be a reader. That’s when I’ll know if this story has anything more than a lost dream in it. If I have a tough time buying in, then I’ll know that it just wasn’t meant to be. A little sad, but I’ll always be proud of myself for putting the work into it, even if I’m not proud of the work itself. Every now and then, though, I get absorbed in my reading, I’ll be in denial that I even wrote it, and be driven to see this one through to the end.
So right now, I have no idea if anyone other than me will ever lay eyes on the pages I’ve written this month. And if not, that’s okay, too. I just want to prove to myself that I don’t have to give up the storyteller side of me just because I don’t write professionally. Maybe one day I’ll be able to live off of my writing, but until that time comes, I want to know that this wonderful part of me doesn’t have to be sacrificed for the sake of a reality-check.
So for those of you who have been following my journey, thank you! This opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences with you has reminded me to believe in a lot of warm fuzzies the amazing people at NaNoWriMo tell their participants every year. Somewhere out there is someone who has waited their whole life to read your novel.
For those WriMo’s, writers, and aspiring WriMo’s and writers, if I can do 50,000 words in 30 days, you can get your draft done, too! To quote Chris Baty: "Whatever you think you are, you are more than that!” Now get out there and prove it to yourself!
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