Chapter 1 - rewrite

I have rewrote chapter 1 in my book, so could you please leave comments at the bottom for feed back. I'm hoping its positive :)

Chapter 1

When I was younger I use to believe in all those mystical stories my mother would tell me. She would tell me all kinds of stories from dark creatures that live in the woods, to knights slaying dragons. My mother would always somehow have my full attention, but as I grew these stories began to fade as did my imagination and she had lost her passion. My mother would make these stories come alive as if she had been there, then it became just words out of a story book. Is it because I’m sixteen now that everything sparks an interest, things are hypo-sensitive, smells are stronger, colours seem more vibrant and I can hear things that I can’t see whether it be an owl or a car horn. Is it just me or are the other girls in school going through this. What I didn’t realise is that my life is about to change in the unimaginable way...

My story begins in a small holding near the woods on the edge of a farm. The farm belongs to my mother’s godfather. Since mum lost her job we couldn’t afford to keep our home but the old man offered my mum and I to live in the farm with him as his wife had recently passed away and he was finding it hard to cope with managing the house and the farm. My mum being so independent said no that she would pay her way somewhere so they came to a comprise. He let us live in his little holding (which I like to call my cosy cottage) for nothing. In return my mum managed the house and prepares a hot meal for him every day. I’ve always called him the old man. It’s true what they say about farmers being tight but he’s always been generous to my mother and me. My granddad saved his life during the war, which he died in. So I think he feels partially responsible for us. He insists that every meal my mother makes is for the three of us which is great because with mum on low benefits it’s a struggle. However there are only so many vegetables a girl can eat, I long for a nice hot curry. As the old man grows so many vegetables for the open market in the village which takes place on a Saturday morning, I now work the stall as his wife use to. Sounds a bit selfish of me but I get quite embarrassed as Kaila’s dad has a shop (one of many) right opposite my stall. Sometimes I see her and her pathetic friends looking through the shop window and laughing at me. Most of the time I’m hoping that they fall on hard times and by then mum and I will be okay and it will be me who is laughing.

“Alaska hurry up, you’re gonna be late!!” shouts my mum with her tired worn out voice as she stands at the bottom of our wooden steps. My mum only calls me Alaska when she is serious about something and I know she means it otherwise I’m known as KA. Before we moved into the cottage there was a metal stair case that brings you upstairs. The old man kindly put in wooden stairs to make it feel cosy for us. The cottage is never too cold for us as we always have the fire burning and my mum’s pastel coloured crouqchet blankets wrapped around us. I love listening to the sound of the fire crackling and watching the colours of the burning coal change. It always makes me fall asleep even when I have had a rough day. I grab what I can for school and dash down the stairs, brushing against the velour material curtains that hang near the bottom of the stairway. I hate the feeling of velour as it always spreads goose bumps throughout my body. I stand at the bottom of the stairs and turn my head to the kitchen and see my mother sitting near the window just staring out into our backyard. I wonder what she could possibly be thinking about. What could be going through her mind? Recently my mum has become lost in her own thoughts and doesn’t even notices she’s doing it.

“Mum I’m going!” I shout trying to get her attention.

I see her head turn towards me as if she is about to say something, then she just turns away.

I leave my house and make my way down the lane that is surrounded by old oak trees and nettle bushes. Every morning when I walk past here I see lots of different animals running around. The most common animal I see are foxes, in fact they have become so tame that they even come up to you when you offer them food. This saddens me as I know that the old man wouldn’t be too happy as they keep killing his chickens. I hate it when he walks around his fields carrying a shot gun looking for them. This one particular baby fox which I have been feeding always comes to me for a piece of chicken or bread. Recently though he has become a lot more smelly and stinks of a dry metallic smell kind of like copper but I found myself wanting it but I don’t understand why? I have to clap my hands to scare him off but it always takes me a while to shake of that strange sensation. At the end of the lane there are two paths, one that leads to the village and the other that brings you deeper into the woods. I have been into the woods before but as I got to a certain point I had thrills that ran through my body, so I had to turn back. I’m standing at the bottom of the lane when I feel a hard hand grab a hold of my shoulder. I feel the air escape from my lungs as I let out a terrified gasp. I turn to face whatever it is that has a hold of me and come across a face that is familiar.

“Jesus Steven!” I say with a shocked voice.

“Haha, why so jumpy KA?” laughs Steven.

Steven lives on a farm down from us and finds it quicker to hedge jump from the farm to the village.

“What were you staring at?” asks Steven.

I quickly try and change the topic so that he doesn’t think that I’m weird.

“Hey, I like what you’re wearing” I say unconvincingly.

“Thanks it’s my dad’s” jokes Steven.

We finally get to the school gates when Kaila grabs Steven’s arm and pulls him away from me. They begin to whisper to each other. I know what their whispering about, their whispering about me. Their probably telling Steven not to hang around me because it’s bad for his reputation. The same old garbage they feed nearly everybody that joins their little gang. The icon of the group is a tall and skinny girl called Kaila Beeton. She is the prettiest girl in school with her golden blond hair, clear skin and deep blue eyes. Kaila comes from a wealthy family who own their own businesses, so she looks down on people like me just because we don’t live in a posh estate. I have tried to join their group before but they turned me down because I didn’t have a father. My father left my mother when I was two years old. I never tried to find him because I thought he left because he couldn’t stand up to the plate when it comes to fatherly hood.

I couldn’t stand there anymore and let them brain wash Steven.

“Steven, come on lets go?” I call

“Sorry but he’s with us now and before you ask charity cases like you aren’t allowed to join” Kaila laughs whilst pulling a sly smirk

I’m sick of her treating me like I’m nothing more than dirt that everyone can walk on. I walk towards her clutching my fist tightly. I can feel the adrenaline kicking in and the anger within me trying to escape.

“What you say!” I shout

Steven quickly puts himself in between me and Kaila.

“I asked you a question!” I shout whilst pushing Steven off me.

“Bite me!” shouts Kaila

Suddenly I notice a twitch in her neck and an overwhelming feeling of hunger. I actually wanted to sink my teeth into her. My mouth begins to become painful and my canines feel like they have an added on extension.

I bring my hands up to cover my mouth and catch eye contact with Steven. He stares at me as if to say sorry using his facial expressions. I immediately break eye contact with him and start walking away from them. I run to the girl’s toilets and splash cold water onto my face.

“What’s happening to me?” I whisper in confusion.

I stare at myself for a while in the mirror pulling my lip from different angles observing my teeth, but they look perfectly normal to me. I need to speak to someone. I have to talk to my mum about this. I visit the school nurse and pretend I’ve come down with some kind of sickness. At first she thought I was trying to skip classes but when I told her a white lie that my family is inherited by some exotic disease, it wasn’t long before she rung home. I decided to walk back on my own instead of my mum meeting me. Steven is probable wondering where I went to and is looking for me, so I took a different route home so that I wouldn’t have to put up with the awkwardness. I knew that he was going to ditch me because I wasn’t good enough anymore, I had to save myself from the heartache. I took a route that was unfamiliar to me. It leads into the woods that I had tried to cross before. It was really quiet and I could hear the sound of every branch I broke and all the sounds of the woods. I felt as if I was being watched by something, almost as if it was walking right behind me. The further into the woods I would walk the more intense the feeling would become. When I finally decided to stop walking I realised how far into the woods I had travelled. I looked up into the sky as clouds start to form and it becomes dark and miserable. I attempted to walk further into the woods, when my foot becomes caught in some tangled roots and I feel my body falling to the ground. I find myself slipping down a steep slope and being unable to stop. It felt like my body was being thrown around as if I didn’t weigh anything at all. Suddenly I feel the impact of the ground as I finally come to a stop. My hands were cut and bruised; I had bits of twigs and dirt on my clothes and in my hair.

I find the strength within me to lift my body up of the hard cold ground. I brush the dirt of me and pull the thorns out of my hands feeling every sting. Something draws my attention at the corner of my eye. I kneel down to try and identify the strange looking object. It is a hard wooden tube with 4 small holes on the top of the object and one large hole at the bottom. I scoop the object up with my badly bruised hands and stare at it for a while. I have never seen anything like this before in my life, what could it be? I safely put the object in my rucksack. A strange smell suddenly appears a smell you wouldn’t normally come across in the woods. As I turn my head to follow the smell, I see my home cottage. Could I have fallen that far into the woods that I landed right outside the cottage?

I walk up to the cottage and walk inside.

“Mum, I’m home” I say looking around for her.

I walk into the kitchen and find her still sitting on the chair staring out into the backyard. Could she have not moved since this morning?

“Mum” I call trying to get her attention.

“Oh, Alaska, Your back already?” says mum in a surprised voice.

She jumps out of the chair and runs to the fridge.

“I’ll make us some tea” she says as if nothing happened.

I stand there for the next five minutes just staring at her. I began to think, is my mum starting to lose the plot? A horrible feeling came over my body as those thoughts were spinning around in my head. I needed to get out of here; I walked towards the kitchen door with my head bowed down trying to shake away all those uncomfortable thoughts.

I close my eyes and walk away from the kitchen. I just wanted to get away from everyone today. I opened my bedroom door and laid there on my bed. That weird object I found in the woods starts to dwell on my mind. What could it be? What was it doing lying down in the woods? I may not have answers now, but I will do soon.