Doing all the right things for the wrong reasons

Hello all,

I have decided to share my self-publishing dilemma with you all and hope you may be able to give me some advice on whether to carry on or not.

For the people that do not know I to like you wrote a novel called Jacob Jones. Its a children's book. 254 pages aimed at 8 - 12 years. That was the easy part now comes my dilemma.

I sent out a couple of query letters and sat back like everyone else waiting for the.. Sorry we cannot give you more information but we are not taking on any new clients at the moment but we wish you luck and suggest you try a bigger agent. How many of you can relate to this?

I was not too worried as it is part of the process until my boy come home from the armed forces and asked me..

"Father, how are you getting on with Jacob Jones?"

"OK son, it's a Slow process but getting there."

"That's good news, now for even more"

"What's that?"

"I finish my training at the end of June as you no and I will be off to Germany or Afghanistan for my first tour, what do you thing?"

"Great, that's good son," I said as I walked off with a hint of what would have been a full break down in tears had he not been in the house.

"Can't wait to see your book out, hope you can do it before I go, I would love to be there with you" he shouted as I walked off. I shouted back, "want a cup of tea son," as I screamed shit in my mind.

Jumping forward two Months, I rush my ass off to find someone to help me self-publish Jacob Jones before the end of June. Done that and started the process just to find the company whom I will not name just yet took my money fed me all the Ballshit and as yet delivered Sweet F A 3 weeks on.

The book cover they were supposed to design was the cover I made up for them as a guide sent back on an A 5 template exactly what I give them. It has been a nightmare all the way. Different fonts Sci-fi headings for a fiction book and I am not allowed to talk to the designer I have to e-mail them. No one has ever phoned me back when I have asked them to and I was told, "You're not our only customer you know"

Yes so I hear you all saying find someone else to do the work... They charge £1397.00.

I was hoping to tell my boy it was not going to happen when he next phoned me but I couldn't do it because he was upset. He had lost his mate in the armed forces and no one knew where he was. Three weeks later, it ended up being very sad news about his mate and colleague just 18 the same age as my boy.

He is home tonight for the weekend and I don't want to bother him at a time like this but I don't want to let him down so what should I do? Should I be up-front with him or hope the next six weeks I have left, a Miracle happens.

What would you do? :(