I've read many examples of would-be authors works in the shared work section. I rarely comment on other writers work because I'm not a literary expert, or a published author.
There are examples of authors works in the shared section that would be greatly improved if the authors had Shown not Told. So below I've posted tips on how to Show not Tell.
Show don't Tell grounds a novel in reality. It brings the scenes and actions to life, through the minds, speech and actions of individual characters. It’s especially effective when an individual uses his or her sensory perceptions to describe their surroundings and what they’re physically experiencing.
It can be tricky when to Show not Tell, because Tell can be used to good effect as well. Tell can be used in conjunction with Show. But Tell should only be used when it’s not possible to Show.
Dramatic scenes are mostly Show don’t Tell. How you define your characters by their actions. What did your characters see, hear, smell, taste or feel.
Dialogue is an action. It’s mainly Show don’t Tell. How your characters speak. How they reveal things about each other. An effective trick is to have your character reveal information to the reader by talking to another character. This adds to the intrigue and advances the plot and storyline.
It’s essential the dialogue sounds natural and isn’t used to explain or convey information that is obviously known to the characters. Otherwise the dialogue will sound stilted or flat. In good dialogue the onus is on the reader to use his or her intelligence to fill in the gaps and work out what is likely to happen next.
Streams-of-thought is mostly Show don’t Tell. Character’s streams-of-thought let the reader know their inner world. Characters thoughts reveal things about themselves and relay information that cannot be revealed in any other way.
Descriptions should be Show not Tell. It’s better to describe the landscape weather, objects and individuals using a characters sensory perceptions and sharp prose. If you Tell instead of Show your prose will sound lifeless.
Your completed manuscript should be mostly Show not Tell.
I hope that helps.
Feel free to copy my tips.
I welcome more examples of Show don't Tell.
Thanks Adrian and Susan
This is something I struggle with. Any more tips would be much appreciated.
It's one of those things I find hard to explain so here's an example from a short story of mine that I hope illustrates the theory.
TELLING: Mary could see a photo in the album and wondered when it was from. She asked George. George tried to look at it but because his eyes weren't too good he had trouble focusing. Eventually he reached for his glasses. Mary was annoyed that he'd taken so long.
SHOWING: ‘When’s that one from?’ asked Mary, waving her cigarette vaguely in the direction of the album. George balanced the large book on his knee and opened it at the middle. He peered at the photos, first bending close to the page then drawing back and squinting before reaching for his glasses. Mary sucked in a small breath of irritation. ‘Why don’t you just put them on first!’ she snapped, tapping ash vigorously into the ashtray.