first page comparison

by Paul Garside
17th October 2018

Hello all, been a while since I have been on the site and I come back as a first time Granddad, Anyway, enough of my boasting. I have posted the first page in the shared works. I know we are not supposed to post here as well and direct people but... I am trying to learn how to better edit my own work, so I have given it a go on just the first page and would appreciate your comments of which is better, also am I getting the hang of editing or do I need much more practice.

Thanking you in anticipation as I have always had excellent feedback in the past.

Regards Paul

Replies

Paul, congratulations Grandad.

I'll take a look at your work and leave constructive comments.

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Adrian
Sroka
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Adrian Sroka
17/10/2018

Congratulations on your first grand-baby Granddad.

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ELSIE
BYRON
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ELSIE BYRON
17/10/2018