Show don't Tell?

by Adrian Sroka
7th February 2014

This is for Joanna and anyone else who is unclear about Show don’t Tell.

I will do my best as a would-be author. I’m sure the published authors who post on these forums can fill in the gaps.

Show don't Tell grounds a novel in reality. It brings the scenes and actions to life, through the minds, speech and actions of individual characters. It’s especially effective when an individual uses his or her sensory perceptions to explain their surroundings and what they are physically experiencing.

It can be tricky when to Show not Tell, because Tell can be used to good effect as well. But most bits of information are better shown than told. This can be done in various ways.

1) A dramatic scene is Show don’t Tell. How you define your characters by their actions. What did your characters see, hear, smell, taste or feel.

2) Dialogue is Show don’t Tell. How your characters speak. How they say things about each other. An effective trick is to have your character reveal information to the reader by talking to another character. This can also serve to advance the plot or add to the tension. But it’s essential the dialogue sounds natural, and then for the reader to use his or her intelligence to fill in the gaps and work out what is likely to happen.

3) Streams-of-thought is Show don’t Tell. How your character’s streams of thought let people know their inner world, perhaps reveal things that would not be revealed in any other way.

4) Descriptions of the weather or landscapes. It’s better to describe the landscape and weather through a characters sensory perception or sharp prose. You don’t want your prose to sound lifeless, like my corny example a) below. Compare example a) with my example b).

a) Example of Tell. ‘It was a dark and stormy night in the village. The wind blasted the cottages. The villagers feared for their crops.’

b) Example of Show. ‘Lightning exploded fracturing the doom-laden darkness which enshrouded the village. Thatched roofs shook and shutters rattled in the howling wind. The slanting deluge turned the hot earth into an oozing quagmire. Between the booms of tropical thunder, wind and rain lashed at the ripe fields of corn flattening the lifeblood of the village.’

c) Example B could also be Show through the sensory perceptions of a character caught in the storm, or witnessing it through a window. For example, a character lost in the storm thought, ‘Oh Lord could we please have more light and a bit less noise.’

I hope that helps.

Replies

Siew, thank you.

I still need to address chunks of my text which need to be Show don't Tell.

Regarding Tell not Show.

I Tell through my omniscient narrator in the narrative between each scene or, perhaps, in a few paragraphs at the beginning of some chapters. Tell acts as a signpost to inform the reader what the chapter is about. It's essential that Tell is written in crisp, sharp, snappy prose, unlike a brochure or academic essay. The words should fizz, crackle and spit off the page.

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Adrian
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Adrian Sroka
07/02/2014

Wow, that's good Adrian! Thank you so much for sharing. Your explanation is very good. Guess I have a lot to learn where writing is concerned. It involves a lot of literary aspects, huh?

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Siew Leng
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Siew Leng Lee
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All about filter words as well. Avoid emotive phrases: he knew, he saw, he thought, he felt, he smelled, he tasted.

I.e. Bob saw the man running towards him.

The man ran towards Bob, and his heartbeat quickened. What did he want?

Silly example, but you get my drift. Great info here.

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