Story writing game

by Tejinder Dhiman
20th April 2014

I just thought that we should have some fun.

So I'll start.

The boy wearing shabby clothes stood fixated. Staring longingly at the candy that lay on the table before him.

Replies

...The boy looked over his shoulder and saw a woman standing over him. She was thin, and looked just as hungry as he did.

Her vice like grip on his arm belied her frail appearance...

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Michael
Anstead
1000 points
Developing your craft
Fiction
Middle Grade (Children's)
Picture Books (Children's)
Speculative Fiction
Adventure
Michael Anstead
20/04/2014

They are both good

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Tejinder
Dhiman
270 points
Starting out
Short stories
Fiction
Business, Management and Education
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Adventure
Middle Grade (Children's)
Picture Books (Children's)
Speculative Fiction
Historical
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Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
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Tejinder Dhiman
20/04/2014

His mouth watered as he looked at it. He'd barely had anything to eat for days, the very idea of food brought a wave of immense hunger. His gut hurt, longing for food. If only he could take it. He reached his weak and dirty arm, only for it to be held back tightly by another.

I believe this is better? Sorry, I think I have perfection OCD or something of the sort. :P

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Ritesh
Nimmagadda
330 points
Developing your craft
Fiction
Business, Management and Education
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Adventure
Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
Middle Grade (Children's)
Picture Books (Children's)
Food, Drink and Cookery
Media and Journalism
Speculative Fiction
Historical
Gothic and Horror
Philosophy and Religion
Romance
Sports
Ritesh Nimmagadda
20/04/2014