Hi all,
If you have a moment grateful that you can let me know - Is this telling?
Many thanks.
Kind regards,
Melinda
“Really? I’m stronger than you think.” Joe wasn’t interested to talk, wishing he’ll leave him alone like the rest. But Jacob carried on. (Is this telling?)
“Yes, it can happen. I broke my ankle when I was yanked back and fell.” Jacob tried to show Joe his scar. But Joe’s focus still on the game. (Is this telling?) Not looking at Jacob he said. “No worries, nothing I haven’t had, anyway they always heal in no time.”
Yes it is.
You could show Joe not wanting to talk by saying something like - he stared straight ahead, mouth firmly closed.
I would also make it clearer who is actually doing the talking here - it's not obvious.
Finally - if this is a first draft, don't worry too much about style. Early drafts are often more tell than show because you're trying to get the story down. Then you can start working on all the things that will make it a great story!