I am having trouble showing the protagonist's train of thought in my story. (Third Person- does it make a difference?). I'm not talking about opinions like 'He thought the tree looked pretty' but showing how the character mulls something over in his/her head and completely changes their opinion on something, sort of like thinking about the pros and cons of an idea. Does that make sense? Sorry if I am being vague. Thanks.
Hello, Adam
I had a thorough look at Identity and I would like to pass back my comments but not in this forum as my reply is a bit lengthy (!). It is a good exercise for me too. I think I sent you a 'connect' request. Thanks.
Hi Adam.
Melvin Burgess won the Carnegie Medal for his novel Junk.
If you can brave a book about heroin addiction, you might find the characters monologues useful.
http://www.readingmatters.co.uk/book.php?id=18
http://www.melvinburgess.net/
I would put it just as we all do ourselves - "self talk" - is when we are having a dialogue in our heads ... what's an example .... "Jill watched the couple arrive. If she looked like the girl she would wear that dress and those shoes too." I think the reader understands that this is what Jill is thinking, as opposed to the author commenting on what Jill sees ... or they will get the hang of it pretty quickly. You can say as people above have suggested: Jill thought to herself, "If I looked ..." - but I think my method is 'cleaner' - it is up to you to choose the style that suits your writing. Someone who does this fabulously is Ruth Rendell - it is one of the reasons I have read her every book.