Hi there, I am writing a crime, thriller/horror novel and id like people thoughts on the beginning:
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So this is it.
That was my time?
You hear it in movies, books and interviews with survivors on daytime TV but I never thought I'd actually say the words.
I genuinely watched as my whole life flashed before my eyes.
Like some punch line to a bad joke, there wasn't a positive thing to behold.
Not one god damn memory I can look back on and say hey, I was happy, I did well and I'm proud of myself.
This kind of thing isn't meant to happen to your average Joe, but It's funny how everything can turn out and it's true, you don't know what you had until it's almost or completely lost....
But like every story that is told, i need to come full circle, back to the beginning.
Where it all started for me....
My story...
My life....
Hey guys thank you all for your responses all of what you have said is exactly what I was hoping for :)
Gordon i kept it short and sweet was deliberate to incite people to read on :)
Alice, I will try it without the ellipses and see how it flows ;) I put in there to create as much suspense as possible.
Thank you all!!
Hi Robbie,
Like everyone above, I found this really gripping and I'd love to know what comes next. I'm sure that it will also ensure that the reader will read right through to the end - I personally love cyclical novels that begin where they finish. If I were going to make any suggestions, I would perhaps suggest that you don't use quite so many ellipses - maybe, if any, just after 'My life'? But nobody else has mentioned it, so it's probably doesn't matter in the slightest :-)
Like it