Previews and samples of my work are now exclusively on my website:
www.lucygoudie.co.uk
STOPPRESSSTOPPRESSSTOPPRESS
New didicated Short Story website: http://inthehoodstories.moonfruit.com/
Book trailer on YouTube: http://youtu.be/S04WrwQJKwc
Previews and samples of my work are now exclusively on my website:
www.lucygoudie.co.uk
STOPPRESSSTOPPRESSSTOPPRESS
New didicated Short Story website: http://inthehoodstories.moonfruit.com/
Book trailer on YouTube: http://youtu.be/S04WrwQJKwc
Grammar-whore! Everyone should have one...lol
Sarah - The opening was originally italicised, as it is a 'quotation' from a book from the world I'm writing about, as it the section between:
" "It's for the best... [and] ... at her fate" as this is a flashback section.
The controversy surrounding Harend is one of the book's main plotlines, so I wouldn't like to spoil it just yet! Thanks for your comments, they are much appreciated!
Lily - I've just run the first 14 chapters past a grammar-whore friend who has Track Changed some bits for me, which make it read much easier. I'm planning on updating this extract soon. Thank you for commenting, it's nice to have people read my scribblings!
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Poetry currently on Kindle: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dandelion-Daydreams-Collection-Poetry-ebook/dp/B006VFOARW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326216749&sr=8-1
Hi Lucy.
Not my usual read, but I must say you write beautifully, very poetic in places.
Only a couple if issues that niggled at me.
(i) The opening just totally confused me, with the lore behind firstborn, secondborn and thirdborn. Perhaps it's me, and other people who read this type of fantasy will understand completely.
(ii) part sentence - ,gossiping seemingly endlessly. - For me it makes for hard reading.
(iii) What is the controversy surrounding the groom Harend, which Yuliaan is worried about. Perhaps I missed the explanation somewhere, if not, is it mentioned later on.
I love the last line: In the rain, it was difficult to say if he allowed himself to cry. - Good ending sentence.
It is a well written piece, the narrative runs without jarring from one paragraph to the next, and the dialogue is believable. So well done.
Sarah :)