THE POWER OF LOVE
My life has been so full of love right from my childhood. My parents, my friends at school and in college, those as part of my network… they have all given me so much of love and affection.
It was late at night and the sedatives were not working…
I was a bubbly young girl full of energy and full of life. But life took an unexpected turn post my undergraduate studies, when I had a serious attack of depression and mood behaviour.
At one point of time, I used to like mingling with people. But it was also during that period that I hated socialising especially because people commented on my mood swings. What a pity!!!
‘Priya…my child.’ ‘Try and take some rest.’
‘I’m trying, mom.’
And then she would come to my bedside and lull me off to sleep…
+++++
‘All that medication, the psychotropic drugs, the ECT, the blood tests, no social security and before these, Lithium, I’m sure you would know how it feels, mom?’
I had just started maintaining a diary and I was writing into the wee hours of the morning and there she was standing by my chair. She radiated like a divine angel…
‘That low feeling…ugh!’ ‘And then the highs!’
‘Mom, when will my ordeal end?’
‘There are times in life, my child…when one is forced to go through difficulties, but that is just a phase, and yet you will in all probability have to continue with medication for the rest of your life…’ ‘These will keep you stable and prevent your moods from fluctuating.’
‘Mama, if only there was a way?’
‘Mom, I shudder to think about what the Psychiatrist said, “you have to continue with traditional western medicines life long to remain stable”.’ ‘Does this mean that I will become lazy and obsessed with umpteen side effects?’ ‘Is this life... for an individual who has been an achiever?’
‘No, my child...’ ‘God has His plans.’ ‘He’s making them even as you sleep.’
‘If God had plans, mom, why am I bedridden with no purpose in life?’ ‘Brooding, sleeping, at times creating tantrums at home?’
‘I am no longer able to socialise; friends and relatives have stopped coming; those coming home have coolly avoid talking to me or saying hello!!’ ‘I have withdrawn into a cocoon, mom.’
‘Child...you’ve been unwell.’
‘I’m fine!’
And I disconnected the wire hurling the phone machine to the ground.
The machine crashed into pieces.
+++++
‘I’m very worried.’ I could overhear dad Goutam Mukherjee relating his predicament to mom Jayati.
And dad broke down.
I had never before seen a man crying like that before.
My parents had by then started talking to people and gathering and collecting information. They would also incorporate any and every suggestion ... be it offering pujas at many mandirs, taking blessings even from road side Sadhus or visiting soothsayers for future predictions about me.
Nothing was working...My traditional western medicines continued at regular intervals... I went into a shell and so did my parents.
My dad soon started with his painstaking research. My parents were then starting to gather information as to the best possible treatment that could be given to their loving daughter... After all,she had her entire life left before her...
But God works in mysterious ways.
He had worked out a plan for me...
+++++
‘Hello, Priya…’ ‘I’m Dr. Piyali.’ ‘And this is Dr. Paul.’
It was the fall of 2004 and my parents had brought me to Dr. Malhotra’s.
‘Priya, can we have you inside our chamber once again?’
The two lady physicians were impeccably dressed. They noticed that the girl was doing some erratic talking to the point of her own exhaustion; there was no linkage between words and sentences and the syntax was incorrect. At the other end, Priya looked morose and depressed.
‘We have taken a look at her reports and asked Priya a few questions and we can confirm that Homeopathy can cure her.’ ‘We have also done a complete and thorough assessment of her symptoms.’ ‘Based on our conversation with you, Mrs. Mukherjee, about Priya’s personality, food preferences, sleep habits, likes and dislikes, as well as a thorough questioning of her physical symptoms, we have analysed our notes and have come up with a constitutional Homeopathic remedy that will suit Priya as a whole person, mentally and physically.’
I could see my dad beaming. It had been quite a predicament.
+++++
The first follow-up was a month later.
‘Her progress is unbelievable.’ ‘After giving Priya her Homeopathic remedy, the erratic behaviour has started to disappear.’ ‘It is incredible, the changes my husband and I have noted in our daughter,’ my mom related to Dr. Piyali.
‘We would advise you to repeat the remedy once every two weeks, since Priya is on a high potency of the same.’ ‘In some cases even a single dose of a remedy can last for weeks or even months.’
‘Please have her medicines sent to our residential address.’
‘Most certainly, Mrs. Mukherjee!’
‘And yes, Mrs. Mukherjee…?’
‘Please remember, that a mental health condition is curable… give her all the love and affection she would ever need.’ ‘And the dignity she rightfully deserves.’
‘Oh yes, Doctor.’ ‘This goes without saying.’
+++++
Things had been pretty mellow with me ever since, I was making progress, some of my mood fluctuations occurring especially before the onset of my menses were subsiding, the excitement was much diminished, yet my parents remained much concerned about my need to manage my anger. They most certainly wanted more.
+++++
Mom Jayati is no more. She passed away following a brave battle against ovarian cancer. For a mother, there cannot be greater pain than seeing her child suffer. It is in the equations of my sweet pills and true love and compassion that I have discovered my ultimate inspiration and my higher calling.
‘I’m sure lots of warrior moms out there will agree with me, we all want full recovery so the million dollar question is: how will we achieve that?’ ‘Well I wish I had the trillion dollar answer but I don’t, all I can say is that we need to keep digging for that one thing that will set our kids free, recovered, and healed.’ ‘These words to me mean happy, healthy and enjoying life again.’
I could recall my mom’s words as I began to get some sleep…
Mom, give me a glimpse of you just once…
‘Priya is still either not happy or enjoying life a lot more now; we still have more healing to do to get her to a much healthier place.’ ‘I’ve been thinking a lot about what and how we will get her to the end of our journey, what clearings to try next, remedies, etc.’ ‘Having this responsibility is not easy, its nerve wrecking at times.’ ‘And I know there’s more to come.’
Thank you mom, you’re the reason I ought to be grateful to God.
And thank you Dr. Piyali and Dr. Paul. Your sweet pills have given me lessons in compassion.
And thanks also to the power of love…
Love is what sustains you… and can cure any medical condition. We talk about ramps, adaptive washrooms and access and technology and inclusion and I do agree that we need all of these because each experience of a medical condition or disability is specific but just try love…
+++++
“The Joy Of Being Human…” was my first major catharsis and I turned out to be a prolific writer, publishing nine books, including one from Germany within the span of eleven years. What started as a compulsion soon became a matter of choice. I quote thus…
‘I was born into a progressive Hindu family. When I was about two, I was told by a soothsayer that I would win over the cosmos one day. Forget about winning over the cosmos, I don’t even have gainful employment for year’s altogether. India has ratified the “Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities” (CRPD) but the story is the same for us. Disability is not a disease, although it can be the cause of much discomfort. But being a woman and disabled is being twice disabled, and I have spent my most youthful years in relentless search of peace and happiness.’
+++++
I might like to add a word or two here. That I have always been taught that great suffering presupposes some great purpose… I have always believed in my power to change things from the way they are to the way I think they are supposed to be…
I am, still, despite every pain and suffering that I’ve undergone and through the power of advanced alternative medicine and the power of love, waiting to dart towards a day bereft of poverty, inequality, loneliness, homelessness and mass hysterical violence. A day free of depression, melancholia and suicides… I have also now become a spiritual seeker.
+++++
I used to sit for hours at the clinic observing people but the doctors/staff never chided me. Classical homeopathy has accorded me the dignity of a complete person, complete in every respect, personal, professional and now deeply spiritual and socially conscious. My doctors have ‘enabled’ me come out of my cocoon so as to say and spread my wings and fly. I am also now highly educated with help from my doctors and strongly contemplating working on humanitarian and spiritual concerns as well as the social dilemmas ailing suffering humanity.
+++++
They say ‘it’s a world where only the fittest survive…’ (Charles Darwin). By enabling me to think positive and taking me to a world of sweet pills, my Homeopaths have proved to the world that a person with a mental health condition need not be confined to an institution for life. I have proved that there is hope for such patients. Homeopathy has made it all possible for me.
+++++
‘I have lived a life of meaning & purpose despite disability/chronic illness.’ ‘My preoccupations include the progress of nations; freedom from racism and human bondage; the emancipation of women and men; the empowerment of children and young people worldwide; universal love and tolerance and compassion and humanitarianism and peace and non - violence and the new world that is emerging.’
I happened to be addressing a conference on World Mental Health Day.
‘I have been much inspired by the lives of some of the world's greatest thinkers, social reformers, educationists, writers and performing artists.’ ‘Many of these have been terminally ill and/or disabled themselves.’ ‘Some of their greatest works have emerged out of their disabilities/illnesses.’ ‘It is the courage and the resilience and the never-will-be-defeated spirit that is truly motivational.’
‘So, you need to have courage…’ ‘There can be no alleviation for the sufferings of civilisation without courage…’
‘I can see a strong possibility of beginning the end of suffering. I can also see a strong need to start a conversation.’
‘As a woman, I have read with great interest the lives and work of Rosa Parks, Coretta Scott-King, Eleanor Roosevelt, Alice Paul and the Suffragists, Bertha von Suttner, Rachel Carson, Madame Marie Curie and Virginia Woolf...’
‘I know I want to leave a legacy for the world.’ ‘The kind Harriet Tubman or Jane Addams or Dorothea Dix or Helen Keller has left.’
+++++
The self is an incredible pursuit. One has to be resilient, one has to be persistent, two qualities that are highly essential in overcoming adversity.
+++++
In retrospect, I see my journey in life has been like my mood swings…
My parents have given me so much of love and affection. There have been gathering of friends at school, at college and those as part of my network: these have given me so much of love. My life has seen those lovely trees, the lovely flowers and the birds… My life has also seen so much fun, books and music, travel, dresses, awards and accolades and finally, pain and suffering and social stigma; prejudice and discrimination …the list is endless.
And now…
As I lecture to august gatherings, meet people in award ceremonies, interact with people of peace loving nations and participate in Zoom calls (owing to the restrictions of the pandemic)..
I feel so connected… through the power of love!
AMEN.
Comments