REDACTED

by Danica Fox
5th August 2021

..........Lilliyan counted along, with the cracked voice in his ear, from five backwards. The sensation of a large thumb pressing hard against the middle of his forehead crept up on him as the numbers sank. And then it appeared. Above him in full view of his strangled body, appeared a chair, wooden and unimpressive. Hanging like the hanged man from the ceiling, it’s unnerving angle made no bones to him as he felt his arms and limbs move upwards. Lilliyan felt his joints over sensationalised and pointedly exaggerated as he climbed and pulled his arms and legs into place, and seated himself in the chair he believed was suspended from the ceiling. His enforced calmness denied him the right to ask any questions as he lay motionless, eyes forward, and smiling. “Lilliyan, are you comfortable in the chair now? asked the American. “Yes” he answered. Seated in the chair, Lilliyan’s eyes cast around him and looked at his feet and the white mass that enveloped him. He was alone in a stretch of white time, seated comfortably. The porous mass of brain that resided in his head opened up consciously to suggestion, and the expectation that he was to forget who he was.

Comments

No that's what I wanted, constructive criticism -Thank you

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Danica
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Danica Fox
05/08/2021

beautifully written. (1)Inconsistent whether he sat or lay on the chair. it could be ( as he leaned back on the chair motionless, eyes forward and smiling)... (2) double quote marks missing at the end of the question, by the American. (3) comma in the last sentence can be deleted. Just my comments. Thanks for sharing.

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Florelle
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Florelle Enow
05/08/2021