Synopsis - Biscuits With Blanche
Biscuits With Blanche is a fast paced, commercial, fictional comedy, combining the satire of Sue Townsend’s Adrian Mole and the wit of Gill Sims’ Why Mummy Swears.
Salford born Blanche was once a woman of the night who choked on a Custard Cream, lost consciousness and died in the first class cabin of a BA 747 somewhere over the Bermuda Triangle. She was traveling with Cilla Black at the time, her best friend throughout life. Her Spirit trapped onboard the aircraft for 11 years, she witnesses the declining standards of the social classes through the vulgar behaviour of passengers. Blanche seizes the opportunity to escape when Sarah Ferguson, Dutches of York, arrives onboard. Possessing Fergie’s body, Blanche returns to her home; the top floor flat of a tower block in Salford. Fergie has been disowned from The Royal Family and spends her days watching repeats of Jeremy Kyle and Judge Rinder. Disgusted at the dregs of society, and conveniently forgetting her own past, Blanche puts an add in the national press and becomes a no nonsense, straight talking Agony Aunt to politicians and the great unwashed.
Responding to the public’s letters, Blanche uses them as an opportunity to reveal a humorous account of her own life; a rags to riches tail in which she has met celebrities, danced as a tiller girl at the London Palladium and befriended the Royal family. Blanche guides the public that write to her over the course of a year with acidic advice through the exchange of letters, which provides multiple narratives;
Jess has had a traumatic and embarrassing birth and struggles as a new mother. Loosing a sense of self she can’t wait to go back to work and become more than a mum again. On her first day back at work, Jess, discovers she’s pregnant again;
Linda is trapped in a marriage and can no longer stand her husband, or the smell coming from his colostomy bag, and prepares to leave. Her husband Steve writes to Blanche, he tells her, ‘I’ve killed Linda.’
Keven goes dogging with his wife and is concerned that the lack of doggers will spell the end of their marriage. Blanche contacts Princess Anne who was a keen dogger in her twenties leading to a permanent site next to Balmoral and the saving of Kevin’s marriage;
Mirren’s husband is gay, traumatised, she starts a path to recovery. Attending a support group for women who’s husbands are homosexual, Mirren is shocked to find she’s attracted to the groups leader, Wendy;
And Alex is lonely, her dating life is none existent, Blanche, gives Alex advice which goes unheard. Falling in love with a man from a travelling funfair, Alex leaves town to become a fortune teller and marry the man on the Waltzers.
Meanwhile, Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has appointed Blanche, Agony Aunt to the Cabinet. Blanche has always been Labour at heart, at the end of the year, after collecting the confessions and letters from the Cabinet MPs, Blanche leaks them all to the national papers; riots irrupt as Boris is dragged out of Downing Street
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If anyone has feedback I'd be very appreciative. Thanks, Mike
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