This is a bit from a picture book I'm imagining at the moment about a cat, parrot,spider and rat...
Their boat was smashed to bits,
Their sails were no more,
They were washed up, shipwrecked, cast away
On a desert island shore.
Not much remained of their boat, the 'Golden Stag',
Nothing but the Cat, his crew and their Flag.
But Cat had a plan,
He could save the day!
With teamwork, a treetrunk, and flag,
They'd soon be on their way!
Together they sat on the warm island sand.
Cat told them what he knew.
They nodded in agreement,
as he explained what to do.
Really appreciate the advice... on with draft two!
I really liked it Kirsty, its sweet and fun :) ooo and also liked yours robert. Putting them together works nicely.
But as you said, this is a work in progress and my gosh I know what its like to have to work through things I havent gotten quite right or needs more work. I shared a YA novel I was working on, something I was just trying out. People gave me a mass of advice and changes I can use to improve. I have used that advice and hopefully have written a better piece. Same with this. Its good, but soak up the advice and use it to your benefit. The people here are so awesome.
Ah, Robert, that was very good :)